Friday, January 23, 2009

Wanted: Dead or Alive

I was inspired to share this story after reading Sharon aka The True Urban Queen's Blog.

About one month ago. I was at my best friend's house. She was going to make a run, but as she left and got down stairs she called me. "Can you come help me clean the snow off of my car?" Now it had snowed greatly for a day and a half straight so there was a significant amount of snow (The picture below is of my car taken the same day as this story took place. Gotta Love Chicago weather in the winter). So I replied "Sure I'll be right down." I didn't think I would take long so I didn't grab my coat.
As I come down I realized I should have grabbed the coat as the windows were coated with ice then snow on top of that. So, I got to scraping the ice and snow off of the truck. It took me longer than expected, but eventually I get most of it off, all but one window on the passenger side. But it was enough so that she could drive. Now as I was finishing up I noticed out of the corner of my eye a little old [black] lady with a cane slowly trekking past me in the snow. Now I couldn't tell where she was heading at first. There was a car close that had no snow on it, also she could have just been walking past. But I said in my mind I'm thinking "I know this lady isn't about to get in one of these cars with snow on them."

So I finished with the snow removal and I go to head back upstairs. So as I turn back I notice BFF is struggling to get the truck out of the parking space. So I go back and got in the car and pulled it out of the space. Now keep in mind that in the time from when I first saw the old lady to when I pulled the truck out of the space I saw at least 3 able bodied men pass by. I must assume they saw the old lady as they really couldn't have missed her given where she was standing. So, once I get the truck out I look over and asked my BFF "Is that old lady brushing the snow off her car?" She says "I can't tell from where I'm at." I tell her to give me the snow brush before she leaves and I head over to help the lady.

Now this lady had to easily be in her mid 70's if not older. But I kid you not, as I walked up to the car the lady is pushing the snow off of her car with her cane! I immediately asked if she needed any help. She says [use your best old lady voice here] "Well I was trying to do it, but it's just so much snow and ice." She said she had a snow brush in the car, I tell her I got one already and proceeded to work on the ice. I started on the windshield and she got her brush and started on the drivers side of the very same windshield. Now I'm scraping my ass off and not seeming to make any leeway. But then I had to be easy as I wasn't trying to have an ice chunk fly up and hit the old lady in the eye or something. I tried to tell her to just either sit in the car or go back to the door and wait while I get the snow and ice off. Thinking about it, I wanted to take a break myself and warm up. Remember I still had no coat on.

But back to the lady. Now although she was trying hard, her efforts were not even putting a dent into removing the snow let alone the caked on ice. However, the lady seemed to be very self sufficient and insisted on helping as well. My great grandmother was this same way, so the fact she wanted to help and or do it herself I totally understood. So I proceeded to go to the back window and let her work on the front. I let her know she should put on the defrost, so she stops brushing the snow. As I turned to walk to the rear of the car she started to turn towards the driver's side door. Next thing I know I look over and she's losing her balance. The lady lets out an "Oh Lord!" and I see her fall over!

I quickly ran over to the driver's side and make sure the lady is okay. She said she was fine. So I proceeded to help the lady up onto her feet. She then said "I'm done, I'm just going to let car warm up and defrost on it's own." I asked if she wanted me to try to finish she said "that's okay I'm not in a rush I'll just let it defrost." So I told the lady to at least let me walk her back to the door. Arm in arm we take baby steps over the snow and ice up to the front door.

Next, the lady told me "I have to go upstairs and get you a little something for helping me out." I immediately replied to her that there was no need for any financial reward I didn't mind helping her out at all. She said "Well thank God you were here young man, because I would still be on the ground in that snow if you weren't. Just last year I had the same thing happen and I broke my hip." She started to go on about how her people usually come to do stuff like this for her but no one has come to do it, so she had to do it herself. I asked one last time if she needed anything else and she said no so I proceeded back upstairs.

So there you have it. Chivalry at it's finest. So it can't be dead. Right? Unfortunately, I am only one man amongst billions and can only speak for myself. Well scratch that, my brother as well since we were raised by the same parents. In that raising we were brought up to be gentlemen. My grandfather probably instilled this more than anyone. But honestly, I just look at situations like the above story from the perspective of what if it was my grandmother, mom, cousin or best friend? I would hope that a man would lend them a hand in that situation. I'm sure that there are plenty of other men that open doors for women, will give up their seat on the bus for a woman or even help a damsel in distress as I did. Now don't go asking me where they are at because that I wouldn't be able to tell you. LoL. But this does go to show you that chivalry isn't dead. Although at times it may seem to be on life support, it is not dead. So ladies please don't sign that DNR (Do not Resuscitate) form and pull the plug on chivalry.


urbanknitrix said...

Good for you!! Your right it's not dead....but on life support as you stated.

There are some people who help out and do as they are told young and old, male and female, but there are plenty who don't too. I see this sometimes on the metro system, where the little boys will get up and stand to give an older woman or gentleman a seat.

I'm going to leave a lot of the negative out since this was a nice post.

Keep doing what you do!

Nola Darling said...

i love it babe... that was great of you for doing that... it's not even about chivalry... it's about people stepping outside of themselves to help someone in need... i really think that's what God (or whatever higher being you believe in) wants for us... to do random acts of kindsness... and you are clearly doing your part!


LadyLee said...

Great story. It is good to see that chilvary is not dead.

Just Jasmine said...

this post made me smile... not at the woman falling but that you guys still exist.

Thank you for helping that woman.
I'm going to piggy back off this post next week.

Sheliza said...

that is really great that you did that! My hubby does things like that all the time so I am not one of those women that thinks chivalry is dead. You were obviously raised right! it's great to see that you know what being a man truly is!

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Well, shut me up.
There are some left :)

No I am only joking.

That was really sweet of you and I am sure that your son will learn a great deal on gentleman behavior from you.

However there is still many more who need to learn.

JKisz said...

Awwwww! That was so sweet! But I don't think its dead yet, the modern generation is just scared of it. Men are not taught the manners and women don't know how to respond.

Jenna Marie Christian said...

It is always refresing to see that there are still some young gentlemen out there. Thanks for sharing..

Chicago weather can be brutal. I reside in Chi-town myself and it is going to be a very cold weekend per the forcast:-)

SheBloggs said...

Aww I'm so glad it isn't dead.. realness like that goes a long way for me. Your father taught you very well..<3

Amber ♥. said...

awww how sweet. im glad there are still some gentlemen out there

Untouched Jewel said...

That was a wonderful thing you did. Why are you in Chicago again?! LOL. You need to gone head and make a nice little trip to California... *wink*

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

good deasl. i was in atlanta in my truck, my son was three nice summer day. lady was crossing street in walker. light turned green so i got out opend the door and as i did so guy behind me honked and i just assisted her walking across the street - when he saw what i was doing. he felt embarrased and tried to apologize i looked at him light turned red, got back in truck, son asked "why was he blowing at us poppa"

Jarrai said...

A gentleman in the making..that was really sweet of you. There aren't may of your species left it seems.

She's Gotta Have It said...

You came through like Superman that day! Guys like you are very far and few in between. It's good to know your type still exists.

Steph said...

That is so sweet!! I wish more guys were like that. Only two people have ever helped me clean off my car. My boyfriend and my DAD.

Living in Canada we sometimes have at least a foot on the car which is a bitch!

♫Musique's Prodigy♫ said...

Godo job man. There you go. Represent for us Chivalrous men out there. No Chilvary isn't dead. I doin't see why some men think it is crazy or beneath them to help others Especially an older person

Aretha said...

I agree, it isn't dead. I always encounter men who have wonderful manners and know what it means to be a man.

I couldn't ever believe it was dead even if I didn't encounter men like this regularly because then it would lead me expect less.

I loved this post!

moses said...

This post shows how kind and caring you are.

Some men never want to give a helping hand to other people and what they say usualy is "do I know you" which I think shouldn't be.

We are mean't to help one another and with this we will have a healthy society living happily.

Anonymous said...

that was sweet of you.

Miss.Stefanie said...

I used to think chivalry was dead until I realized not all men are pricks. I still believe its alive and found in the good men like you. :)

Anonymous said...

Chivalry....nope it isnt dead.

That was really nice of you to help your bff..

Anonymous said...

When I need help can I call you too??

clnmike said...

A slow and painful death my friends, a slow and painful death.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

its very refreshing to find that theere are still people with warm hearts out there, very few people play the good samaritan these days, every one is too busy with thier own bullsh*t to care about anyone elses

Saved Girl said...

can you hop on a plane and bring some of that chivalry to VA!

Brothers Blog said...

@ Urbanknitrix - Thanks. I agree lifesupport not dead.

@ Nola - Yes I agree people should do nice things for people in general.

@ LadyLee - Thanks. Definitely not dead.

@ Just Jasmine - I hope you're not laughing at that old lady. But yeah we still exist somewhere. And I look forward to reading.

@ Sheliza - Yep it starts at the raising without that it's pretty much not going to happen. Hence why the younger generation think it's dead.

@ Sharon - I shut you up? Lol. J/k. Well unfortunately, I'm only charged with the job of teaching my son and not the other billions out there. So yes he will know the way.

@ JKisz - Yes I agree that's exactly what it is.

@ Jenna Marie - Yes there are still some. And who you telling about this weather. That's why I'm inside.

@ SheBlogs - Yeah I was taught well so I must in turn pass it on.

@ Amber - Yep we do actually exist. lol

@ Untouched Jewel - LOL. My brother resides in Arizona/Cali. But I do visit often. lol.

@ Torrance - See that's what I'm talking about. And your son seeing that will only enforce such behavior when he gets older. Good story man.

@ Jarrai - In the making? lol. I think I'm there I'm a little too old to still be in the making. lol

@ She's Gotta - Not quite superman but I just happen to be at the right place at the right time and did the right thing. But yeah we do still exist.

@ Steph - Awww. Well If I see a woman doing it solo and the snow is bad I will offer they don't always accept but I at least offer.

@ Musique - Yeah man I gotta represent. Other than that women will think it's dead. Lil stuff like this gives them hope and know they don't have to accept less than.

@ Aretha - I totally agree so regardless women have to know even if not seen that it does exist.

@ Moses - We are definitely meant to help each other just as people whether we know each other or not.

@ Neema Divine - THanks.

@ Miss.Stefanie - There are definitely some out there. Many are pricks but not all.

@ Oyin - Thanks. Well helping the Bff is a given, the extra was the old lady. Oh and if I'm close enough to help sure I will. Hit me up. lol

@ ClnMike - LOL sad but true. Maybe they'll invent an iron heart for it at some point. lol.

@ MissDef - I do think it goes past chivalry and just to doing the right thing and helping others out.

@ SavedGirl - VA? I don't know any fam out that way and have never visited. Sorry. LoL.

Kofi Bofah said...

I am looking at that picture.

Sometimes you roll around the back streets of Chicago and it looks like people haven't touched their cars in weeks...

Mizrepresent said...

What a beautiful story and so glad to hear it...i wish so many men were like this...each day i try to teach my son these same simple lessons...i have to say...he is getting it...he now opens the door for me and any other women, now i've got to train him on giving up his seat, and of course, brushing off the snow! Great post!

Jillian said...

Always good to know that chivalry still exists out there...and bless you for seeing a situation and lending a hand.. :)

JuJu said...

awh; thats wussup!!! we need more men like you arnd this way!! :)

South Loop Social Light said...

Look at you! Aren't you the helpful gentleman...and thanks for blogging about it! God forbid your efforts went without being acknowledged by the virtual world ;)

sleekiest said...

That was mighty nice of you.. now, i know who to look for when i need to play damsel in distress..
Nice blog too...

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I'm mad at those guys who just walked by :( tsk tsk But what you do was really sweet and I know you made her day! ;)

peggy m. said...

awww ... i read this on my BB and i'm happy that it still exists.. i wrote a blog on chivalry back in November I believe, and boy the rebuttals came in..

This was very sweet of you. Glad to see that there are still guys like you out there.

Now it would be great if they came this way.