Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The U-G-L-Y Truth

"Beauty is only Skin Deep... But ugly is to the bone." (From the movie Bebe's Kids)

"It's What's on the inside that counts...Well someone needs to flip her ugly ass inside out then." (Wanda Blind date Sketch - In living Color).

Let me start by saying that we are all beautiful people in some way shape or form. So I don't want anyone to take offense to what I have to say, this is just my opinion here. But with that said can we please keep it real for a moment? When I say real I don't mean that pretend real that some put up and take down later like it's a Christmas Tree. I mean keep it all the way 100% real at least until you finish reading this. Now that we all are in REAL mode let's begin. By a show of hands how many of you that are single would prefer a mate that had a lot of wonderful traits yet they were ugly as hell? And if you're already married or taken how many would have still married or gotten with your current significant other if they were absolutely unappealing to the eye? And by that I mean that you can barely stand to look at them ugly. Meaning that the ugly stick took one swing and ran away type of ugly. I mean O.J. Simpson no alibi type of U-G-L-Y. I mean... well you get the point by now.
I can't see your hands, but I can't imagine too many were raised if any at all. However, you will be asked to participate in a short poll at the end of this blog. Okay now that we have that out of the way I just want to address the 2 statements that began this entry. I just can't for the life of me understand how people try to say that looks don't matter at all. Now I will agree that they are not the most important factor in choosing a mate or what attracts you to a person. I totally agree that there are many other factors to consider, including: personality, intelligence, drive, compassion, attitude, confidence, etc. However, you have to be lying to yourself and others if you flat out say that looks do not matter at all. (See image to the left). I mean how many people do you see walking down the street in passing and can honestly say "Hey they have a beautiful personality?" It Just doesn't happen and if so it's rare. As humans we are first attracted by physical traits, and then the other unseen traits are what usually keep or reduce our attraction.

Now keep in mind that gold diggers don't factor into this equation. We all know they are only concerned with what's in your wallet like Capital One. They could careless what your face looks like as long as the faces on your currency are those of dead presidents. So take them out of the equation. I'm actually talking about genuine relationships here. But maybe I'm the only one that prefers to have someone that is easy on the eyes. I'm not saying that I'm the most attractive person in the world because I'm far from it. Therefore, I would understand that if I'm unattractive to someone that they would choose not to be with me or give me the time of day. All I'm saying is that if you're going to potentially be with this person either for the rest of your life why not have someone you enjoy looking at. Not to mention someone that can even strike up a little jealousy or hateration when you bring them around other guys or girls. Better yet even turn a head or two when you walk down the street with them. I mean who really aspires to find a mate where you don't even want to bring them in public because you never know what reaction you'll get today? Maybe pointing and laughing, shock, disgust, or shame (smh) you just never know.

I was watching an episode of Seinfeld last night and a question was posed. They asked what percentage of people in the world are attractive? They concluded about 5% and made a joke about the other 95%. Now I can't for sure confirm their percentage of unattractive vs attractive people in the world, but I can say that there are for damn sure a good percentage of unattractive people in the world. I'm sure the even the most unattractive person if given a choice would choose someone that was attractive for a mate. As if they can be choosy.

So since we're still keeping it real I want to conduct a short survey and see if my theory holds true or not. Below I've put up some images of attractive vs unattractive people. Below the images is a poll. I want you to select which of the 2 you would personally date. Base your vote solely on the face that is in the picture. Don't consider who the person is, how much money they have, and their celebrity status. Just keep it real if you saw picture one or picture 2 who would you be most likely to date. Voting is of course anonymous and you can vote on one or all 6 of the polls. I've tried to choose from a variety of different celebrity types including: actors, musicians, sports stars, blacks, whites, men and women. So find which ever category best suits you and make your selection. I will report on the results in a future blog post.



Grace Jones


Beyonce Knowles

Which Would you prefer to Date?
Grace Jones
Beyonce Knowles
Free polls from


Morris Chestnut


Shabba Ranks

Which would you prefer to date?
Morris Chestnut
Shabba Ranks
Free polls from

Angelina Jolie


Amy Winehouse

Which would you prefer to date?
Amy Winehouse
Angelina Jolie
Free polls from


George Clooney


Carrot Top

Which would you prefer to date?
George Clooney
Carrot Top
Free polls from




Craig Mack

Which would you prefer to date?
Craig Mack
Free polls from


Allen Iverson


Anthony Mason

Which would you prefer to date?
Anthony Mason
Allen Iverson
Free polls from

Thank you for your participation.


Sexxy Luv said...

you wrong you know that right!?! lmao

beauty ain't shit! i can't even find a man and all i hear is how beautiful i am. if this ish keeps up i'm going to get me a UGLY and call it a day! lol

some of the people you picked weren't ugly, with a little adjustment they would be easy on the eyes once love is factored in. lol

Cherish said...

sometimes its ok to go for the ugly ones because they are the ones who wsnt to act right and make sure it works. But then there is no universal definition of ugly, for instance I think Tyrese is all kinds of sexy and good looking might i say but my friends think he looks like the cross between an ant and an alien, hell 5 years ago I agreed wit them but as you grow older and mature your perception changes.

Humbly Beautiful said...

Enjoyed reading this blog. You have to be able to look at a person. Looks are not everything, but you can't be with someone you can't stand looking at and wake up with them everyday for the rest of your life. Beauty is one of many qualities a person should have, but if it is the only quality you look for you might end up with someone you can look at, but can't stand to be with.

LadyLee said...

This was a great post...

I saw a picture one day of a gorgeous man, with the abs, the looks, everything. The caption underneath read "He sure is fine, but somebody's trying to get rid of his ass!"

That is probably the truth. Looks are enough to get a person, but not enough to keep one. You better have that personality, that perserverence and a whole lotta other stuff. But it's that initial thing that counts early on. I think that's what we all have become accustomed to thinking...

urbanknitrix said...

OMG!! This was so funny, but so true.

Your right. When you meet someone it is all about the physical, but shit can change. Personality can do that. Once you start talking and all that, but still you can't be butt ugly.

I had this guy that I would be like wow, he can brain fuck me all day, but if he tried to touch my leg I would be ready to bite him. he was cool people, but nope, couldn't do it. was a shame, smart as a whip with mad conversation.

clnmike said...

Lol, good damn post.

It's understandable that you would wind up dating or with some one who is attractive because thats the first thing you see so as a man your going to go after that first.

As I got older I became more attracted to how a woman carries herself as opposed to how they look.

Ive dated pretty women who where idiots.

And Ive dated women who thought they were to pretty to get nasty, (thats why I voted for Grace Jones, she looks like she can tear some dack up, mean while it looks like you got to talk Beyonce's butt into doing things.)

It's all about sexy instead of pretty for me.

Just Jasmine said...

I think if i met someone's personality first then it probably wou;dn't matter as much but if i see you on the street it is based purely on attraction and well you know how that goes.

Nellz said...

lmao!!!!!!!!! i loveee this post and i agree with u on this one..smh its cool how u have those poll surverys niceeee....and im sure that proved ur point to the TTTTTTTTTTTT

Anonymous said...

lol, you know i'd choose T.I over that Craig guy anyday. But, i agree with you. it's normally about the physical attraction, and then once i get to know their personality, i drop them. at the end of the day, what normally holds my relationships is the personality.

mrs. mary mack said...

LMAO!! Seroiusly Grace Jones and Craig Mack??!!! Come on now- that's not a fair trade at all on either!

I've dated on both sides of the fence pretty boys just don't do it for me. I can't date someone who's more concerned about his looks than mine. That's why I married "Averagely Handsome" LMAO!!!

Sheliza said...

lol!!! I am laughing about the poll choices! that's not fair! But on a serious note. I do not ever use the word ugly to describe a person's looks but more their personality. I know lots of attractive folks that are so emotionally ugly it's not even right. I don't allow my kids to call anyone ugly. That's just not cool. I don't think looks matter at all. Seriously.

LB said...

I don't feel sorry for Craig...I do believe that he's off somewhere getting his. And I'm sure in another poll, he may even be the winner. Let's say, between him and one of those Ying Yang twinz or Biggie even. T.I. was a little unfair.

The msg goes both ways though. I certainly don't want to be with someone who doesn't think that I'm attractive either.

Anjl Marie said...



Kitty said...

Funny and oh so true!! I've dated gorgeous guys and ugly guys and guess what.. They both ended up being janky individuals. So that whole "ugly guys will treat you better" thing is a rumor that a group of Uglies put out there..

Personality is DEF more important but no one wants to have a googly-eyed, bobble head ass baby with a great personality.. :)

Anonymous said...

you are hilarious... And wanda sykes... classic.

Ditto LadyLee above - looks are enough to get someone - not to keep em.

Looks do matter - of course, who are we fooling. But they only matter long enough to fall in love... then everything else kicks in to stay that way.

Is it me that thinks that the prettier you are on the outside is usually equivalent to the ugliness on the inside? Pretty people seem to expect the world and wait for others to serve it to them.

I'm just sayin.

LOVED this post!

Miss.Stefanie said...

You hit right on the BB, You know I always tell friends, looks are a first impression. I mean really, if someone wasn't physically attractive to another, I'm sure that person would not ask the other person out. It all does come down to beauty the first time. You look at their exterior first not the interior. You cant see who they are at first. If that was true, by golly life would be easier. But we cant. Looks are the initial basis in attraction. People who say that BS.

I agree with you 100% and I loved this blog!!!

Nana said...

ELLE OH ELLE Keep it real...

Loves it.

Vegas International said...

Your blogs are good homie... but i could rarely read them in its entirety( my AD/HD kicks in), but i think i get the where you are going with this ...
Her is my take ..
Only unattractive people say that looks dont matter ... if by chance you are generally looked upon as unattractive, the only time you say that is when the person is or might not be as attractive as you or what your circle might find attractive, but the person definitely isnt FUGLY! That kind of ideology doesnt exist in my book. You can take someone who is a little less attractive than another person b/c the more less attractive person has more upside. But, you wont dump a cutie for a mush face ... you might dump both of them and look for a happy medium.
The thing that most people overlook is that personalities can make someone look good. So you can say he/she is not my type, but after you get to know them you will be like ohhh he/she is kinda sexy. That does not mean the person was ugly it just means they were not your "type" ... thats the thing i think those "looks are not everything" (attractive) ppl. They dont mean i will fhuk with an ugly person, but just someone i wouldnt have fhuked w/ Prior to meeting this person.

Thats my opinion..


Rita said...

LOL at "Now keep in mind that gold diggers don't factor into this equation"

Yet to take the poll but the concept is nice...

Muze said...

LMAO at this post!


it's true, you initially begin seeing someone based on the fact that you are physically attracted to them.

but like someone said, that won't keep anyone. once you're over the beautifulness, there has to be something deeper to keep your attention and make your relationship grow, on both sides.

lmao at your poll.

but hey now. i know a lot of men who like grace jones. lol. she's fierce. you ain't know?


CC said...

To be fair some of these comparisons are way out there!
But let's talk middle ground. Most people don't fall into the crusty ugly and most don't fall into the eye blinding beautiful. But looks are important or else why would we be able to feel lust? I think most would pick somoene less attractive with a great personality then a hot person with a crap personality. But I have my levels. Flava Flav and I will NEVER EVER be. I don't care if he has the best personalty in the world!

MR. CHAP said...

Well...let's go straight to the polls. Gime Grace Jones because i know I'm about to have some monkey sex...the kind where there needs to be medical personnel on deck.

gimme Winehouse because we can get drunk and talk music and MAKE great music together.

Now lets be serious for a minute. I don't date looks anymore. i don't need the pretty mofo who thinks they're still not pretty enough to live a satisfying life. give me the great personality, funny, not-so cute mofo who doesn't care about looks - who gets the picture about what happiness is all about. If that's Grace Jones or Amy Winehouse...I'll take it. I have zero tolerance for crazy, drama-laden divas who thinks people need to smell their shit before flushing.

Gimme somebody that i don't fight every day...ugly or not..

Miss Foxxy said...

lmao.. you're right.. looks DO matter. but how much they matter varies from person to person. i personally think personality plays a bigger part than looks when it comes to picking a mate, but you have to at least start with someone who is decent looking to you. i've known sooo many fine ass men who ended up looking sooo ugly to me after i got to know them, and also guys who weren't much to look at, but grew on me after i got to know them. but if you really can't stand the way someone looks.. i don't think any amount of personality can make up for it. buuuut.. good news for the unfortunate looking folks is.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. i honestly believe there everybody is attractive/beautiful to at least ONE person out there.

great post!

love&nappyness said...

why craig mack tho???? why why why!!?!? bahaha

Super Woman said...

Beyonce Is Married To Jay-Z

.....That is all......

Soulstress said... luv for shabba hahhaha.
U got two of my boo boos on the poll..TI & AI...SCRUMPTIOUS.

Now i always say that in the dark it dont mattr but when u wake up..u dont wake up to personality...u wake up to that when i open up my eyes I wanna b lookin @ sumthin FIIINE okay. It aint shallow its just bein real. I aint fallin in love w/ no scraggamuffin. He dont gotta be good lookin to every1 else..he just needs to look good to me.

Looks aint evrythin..but it is a part of the equation.

ANGELINA said...

those polls are wrong on so many levels lol. i'm still cracking up though...good post.

i agree with everyone else...looks aren't everything, but they do mean something. how can you keep that spark if you aren't physically attracted to the person? i want to wake up and smile at whoever is next to me...not wince lol

dejanae said...

Its one things to say looks arent that important
another thing altogether to pretend they dont factor in at all
that being said
some folk's really do got that it factor that makes u forget howw ugly they really are

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Personally, I like men who aren't considered the finest.
I mean I like the sexy ones too but, I find many that others are like . . .if you say so sexy too.

It's all in the eyes of the beholder.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

My dude you could of picked a better pic of grace!!! lmao

Idk I think its getting easier for some people with all the plastic surgery options out there...and honestly I want a plain guy cause I don't want to have to deal with females...or males(?) trying to take him away lol

Darius T. Williams said...


But give me TI and Morris Chesnut anyday - thanks!

Bombchell said...

Morris morris morris.

see Iv forgotten what the whole post about, and all i remember is morris lol

Diamond said...

Ohhh, nooo! You went "Craig Mack" on us! lmao!

Brothers Blog said...

@ Sexxy Luv - lol @ you going to get you an ugly one. I can't see that happening. lol.

@ Cherish - True beauty as they say is in the eye of the beholder. So my ugly may not be the next and same for beautiful.

@ Humbly Beautiful - Thanks. But yep you stated my only main point I was trying to make.

@ Lady Lee - Thanks. I agree looks will only go so far but initially you have to factor it in.

@ Urbanknitrix - Yep my point exactly. Lmao @ "brain fucking you all day."

@ Clnmike - Thanks fam. I almost quoted you at the gold digger part I gotta go back and add your link. lol. You probably right about the grace jones thing, but damn I just can't do it. lol

@ Just Jasmine - Yep I agree. But you stated my only point I was trying to make. Thanks for being real.

@ Nellz - Thanks a lot. And I'll be posting the poll results probably next week. We'll see how it went. lol

@ Neema Divine - lol I would assume you'd pick TI. But yeah I agree with you, but as you said it starts @ looks.

@ Mrs.Mary Mack - LOL I had to find the best of the best/worst. LOL @ you calling the hubby averagely handsome. But I feel you gotta find that happy medium for you.

@ Sheliza - I agree it's not the nicest word and I don't normally go around calling people ugly. Nor would I let my son. Just used it to illustrate my point.

@ LB - LOL @ mack getting his. I'm sure he would win in a different poll and probably still got a couple groupies.

@ Anjl Marie - Yeah to each their own I say. We all have our preference.

@ Kitty- LMao @ the "rumor a bunch of ugly guys put together." And I agree 100% about personality but you stated my point about looks Oogly eyed as you stated. lol.

@ Katie - Thanks. And yep that's all I was stating is stop trying to fool us as to believe it's not a factor.

@ Miss stefanie - Thanks. Yep that's all I was saying is that it does play into attraction @ first at least.

@ Na Na - Yep keep it reAl that's all I can say.

@ Vegas Int. - Welcome back. Glad you could feel me on this one. Thanks for the love. Hope you got a chance to go back and finish reading it all though. lol.

@ Rita - LOL yeah you know how those gold diggers are. But thanks make sure you go back and vote when you can.

@ Muze - Thanks. And thanks for making this your "Flyy blog of the week." We appreciate it.

But I'm glad you agreed with my only point that it does matter. And the poll results will hopefully be in next week so I'll let you know how grace did. lol.

@ CC - Yeah I know it's 2 different ends of the spectrum but had to be just to prove my point. LMOA @ flava flav.

@ Mr. Chap - Lmao @ monkey sex with grace jones. Man it would have to be not only lights out but turn out the sun and the moon and the stars. lol.

@ Miss Foxy - Yes thanks for keeping it real that's all my point was. And yeah guess there is someone for everyone. lol.

@ love&nappyness - I had to give mack some shine he been out the game a minute. lol.

@ Superwoman - lol Thanks for the reminder. lol

@ Soulstress - hmmm guessing you voted for A.mason & Craigmack then huh? lol. But thank you for keeping it real and helping prove my point.

@ angelina - lol. I had to do it to prove my point. But yep you stated what my purpose was to say that looks do matter.

@ dejanae - I didn't take that pic of grace. lol. But yep you're right looks do factor in that was my point.

@ Sharon - Very true beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

@ Tuotierugif - lol I had to illustrate my point. But there weren't too many that were much better than that. lol. But I feel you plain can avoid that drama from other females/males.

@ Darius - thanks fam.

@ Bombchell - lol. I guess that means you voted for shabba ranks right? lol.

@ Diamond - lol I had to go there.

@ Everyone/All - Thanks for reading and participating in the voting. I'll post results soon.

Jayne Dough said...

lol i honestly enjoy u everything u guys post it really makes u think. but just wanted to say I love Grace Jones.. she is amazing! lol

Gorgeous Geek said...

hahahaha this is a funny post.
If a person isnt physically attractive to me then IDK how I would get to know them lol Unless their in my class or something and I have to participate in group work tehe

I absolutely heart A.I omg lol

South Loop Social Light said...

Beauty is subjective. Attraction is key. Everyone has their list of deal breakers. I for one can't do a lazy eye, messed up teeth or razor bumps on the back of the head or neck! Those are my deal breakers. I have dated guys that were certifiably the majority of people. However, at the time they seemed to possess some redeeming quality that trumped their looks...and at times an emotional connection can be enough...but as for long term sustainability, there has to be a mutual "I want to rip your clothes off whenever I see you"...that's what a relationship really needs in order to maintain the test of time.

Amber-Alert said...

great they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, i do believe there is such a thing as being universally beautiful or attractive...

anyway there has to be something that attracts u to a person (and holds ur attraction) be it looks, personality, sense of humor, something!!

also, i am a firm believer (based on some of the couples ive seen out here lol) that there is SOMEONE for EVERYONE!!! i might cant stand the sight of somone but another person is lovin it!

Lil Honey B said...

With the multitude of ppl in this world with different tastes, likes, dislikes, etc. there is somebody for everybody. I haven't found my somebody yet, and sometimes I think the ppl are so superficial; because while a pretty package is appealing, it has nothing to do with how the person is. I admit that I don't want to be with someone who I can't stand to look at, but ppl perceive beauty/looks differently.