Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lost Without You

As much as I try to front and act like I don't need you in my life I was confronted with not having you there the other day. Although it was only for 24 hours I won't lie it seemed like an eternity. I guess I just got so comfortable and so use to you always being there. So when you couldn't be I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm a man first; therefore, I couldn't cry and I couldn't let anyone see how much not having you there was affecting me. But inside... Inside I felt empty. I missed your company, communicating with you and through you, and just being able to touch you. Throughout the day I would try to reach out to you, but I knew that you were unavailable. I knew that if I tried to call that I wouldn't get through. Or if I even tried to send a text that it wouldn't make it to it's destination.

How can this be? I was never this type of guy. I always tried to make sure I did all I could to keep you happy. I took care of you in every way including financially. I always made sure that wherever I went you were there with me. And even when I laid in the bed at night you were right there next to me. And when I woke up in the morning you were the first to greet me. I know that we've made a long term commitment as we've been together going on 4 years now. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. I guess that not having you there the other day just made me realize how important you are to me. So important that even one day had me missing you like crazy. Perhaps I was spoiled? You were always so good to me giving me almost everything I needed and more. Now I was reduced to having nothing at all. Was this your way of telling or showing me that I should cherish what we have more than I do. And to never take you or what we have for granted? If so I got the message.

They say that you never really know what you got until it's gone. Well I now understand what that means. But why does it always take being gone for someone to realize. Although it really wasn't my fault, I was left pondering so much throughout those 24 hours. What could I have done differently? I sought advice from so called experts, yet even they were no help. I was left with no choice but to wait for you to come back to me. I sat at work with nothing but you on my mind the whole day. I Wondered how long it would be before we reunited. I even wondered if maybe this was a sign that I should move on to another. Maybe try to start something new. Perhaps we weren't as meant to be as I first thought. But we've been together for such a long time, you know what I need and I know what you need. It's a mutual agreement and we make it work day in day out month in and month out.

But I would be lying if I didn't admit that many have tried to tempt me and take me away from you. However, everyone eventually gets tested right? And if you can pass those test even if not with flying colors you come out stronger on the other side right? I tried to concentrate on work as to not think about you. But you were all I could think of. I sat hoping that later that night we would be back together like old times. I just knew that another day like this would absolutely kill me inside.

I don't know how, but I made it through what seemed to be the longest 8 hour day in the world. Not knowing what to do I once again sought the so-called expert advice. This time it was suggested that maybe if I bought something for you that you would come back. As much as I desire to be with you it just bothered me that I may have to go to this extreme. I mean we were able to always work out any problems we had amongst ourselves. I didn't have to go shopping at the mall to please you. You were always satisfied by me, but maybe this advice was worth a try. At this point I really didn't care. I was willing to try almost anything to be with you again. So I ventured out into the cold and trekked through the snow to the nearest mall. I hate shopping especially during Christmas season. But for you I was willing to step out of my comfort zone.

As I walk into your favorite store I seemed a little lost. The sales associate immediately noticed I probably don't shop here often and asked if I needed help. I told them what I was looking for and they proceeded to assist me. Thank God, because sometimes these type of shopping experiences can be a little embarrassing. So, they found exactly what I was looking for and as I began to leave the store something just felt right again. It was like this one act on my part instantaneously brought us closer. I could just feel your presence again. That empty feeling had gone away. I proceeded to try to send a text message and guess what? It went through. :-D So I immediately called and guess what? It went through, I got an answer. :-D We were once again re-connected and all I could do was smile ear to ear. :-D I don't ever want to go a day without you again...

I must thank the experts at T-Mobile for their advice because it worked. All I needed was a new sim card. They activated it at the store and my phone was back ya'll. I was once again reunited and just like the song says it felt so good. It was so hard to get through an entire day without being able to use my phone. I felt disconnected from the world. I couldn't text, make calls, send e-mails, IM, or anything. I know it's sad but I actually did feel lost. I'm not saying I can't survive without my cell phone, but I will say I've gotten used to having it and all it's technology and capabilities. So in a way I am spoiled. And to go from that to nothing cold turkey is hard. So thank God that I have you back and I don't ever want to go another day without having you.

Has anyone else ever had to experience being without your cell phone for an extended period of time? And if so did you feel the same way I did? I can't be the only one to have gone through this before. LoL.



Miss.Stefanie said...

BB- This was written so beautifully and this is too cute! I have been lost without my blackberry when I forgot it at home! Seriously--I always make sure I have it...Even if I dont have other things, at least I have my phone! Unless ts my and wallet are must when I walk out the door.This was written beautifully *gives you props* Great blog BB!

Just Jasmine said...

LMAO off. You a fool for this one.
But yes I cry every time I lose my baby. I feel loss and i even mimic like i'm checking my phone or something.

I'd die without it.

Ok not really

MeLynn said...

I am terribly attached to my Blackberry! Why ...dunno but if I ever get out of the military and have to submit a resume' I am for damn sure putting my extended experience with Blackberry multi-tasking!
It is so bad that I have gotten an hour into my drive and realize I left it on the counter, and what did I damn right...I turned around and went home to get it. And if you have any idea about Chicago area traffic you might say I'm a little Cooh Cooh. but SO!

StarzGazR said...

LMAO!! you got me!!

i was like awww this is soo romat--WAIT.. oh hell no!! lmao

but yeahh i am crazy about my phone.. i feel naked if i dont have it!!

Cherish said...

ok so i was all ready to be like awww ur so in love. but a cell phone tho???

the 3rd tWin said...

lol this was quite fye man.

ohjeez, i remember one time i left my only charger at home after going back to school 3 hours away. my phone is my lifeline to the world so when it died, i felt so alone... lol

Nellz said...

wowwwwwww im like hmm im about to find out how his girl did him wrong!!! lmaooo wow and yes we all feel that way I hate that shit....and i got a sk so its lik eu lost more..aim tmail the web..ughhhh ur are sooo funny@@


clnmike said...

Yo you caught me out there.

But yeah I dont even want to think about not having my celly.

LadyLee said...

I thought you were talking about a broad. LOL!

I am not that attached to my celly. It is one of the cheap 10 dollar Samsung. No blackberries for me!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

Your too much!!! lol

Sexxy Luv said...

lmao! too funny! i had a situation like this happen to me but it lasted way longer then 24 hours.... try 96 hours! i was so sick without my BB i didn't even wanna look or use the other phone that i have. lol

i'm glad you got your phone back to working. :)

Super Woman said...

your in love!!!

YES i've had the horrible experience of being without my phone for like a week

i wanted to cry

especially when i didnt want to find some(one) else ...The house phone wasnt working for me....i needed my cell =(

thank Goodness it's back up and running

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Here I was thinking you were expressing unrequitted love for a woman. . .

MEN :(

Very cute :)

LB said...

Looks like I'm the only one that knew that you wouldn't be sitting here, pouring your heart out over a woman. But maybe that's a testament to my cynicism. My guess was either the phone or your laptop...although I wasn't quite sure about texting a laptop.

I guess that I'm weird...I kinda feel SOME withdrawal, but I can go without my phone for 24 hours.

Anjl Marie said...


Dope Fiend said...

LOL And here i was thinking you was some sweet dude, and all ur really thinking about is your gadgets. shame on u!! lol

Ye I lost my mobile right in front of my eyes, on my friggin birtday, swiped! and I was lost, heartbroken, couldn't speak to no one. But then I got a new one....and soon after I lost this too...this time the pain was easier to bare, i got used to the pain. Now whenever its gone...i just think to myself...Its somewhere, I know I'll find it again. and If i dont...well I can just get a new one and keep on rolling!

Fab4 said...

I can't believe I thought you were really talking about some chick!

I can't deny it though. I go back home for my Blackberry... I don't care how far I've reached!

Anonymous said...


You are always off the chain, man....:)

Teems said...

I defintely shed a tear when my phone dropped in water as I screamed "My whole life is in that phone" like a damn idiot. :-/ You get attached....

n0days0ff said...

I got ready to give you all kinds of props and shit then I realized you was talking about a damn phone lol. I always check for my phone.I wear two on my hip like batman

Untouched Jewel said...

Man, I remember when I lost my brand new Samsung Instinct going in to work rushing to be on time. I felt like life was at a dead standstill, because my brand new cell phone was gone. But thank God for cell phone replacement insurance. I had another one in no time. LOL.
P.S.: for a minute I thought this post was about a girl. I was about to get all emotional, until you mentioned the SIM card. I was like what the hell?! LMAO. Good one.

Jayne Dough said...

omg C.Recks i hate u for this... im all like omg he's such a great guy for expressin his love 4 his girl. "i couldn't touch you" hahaha HATE u for this. i was tricked like the post about callin ppls answerin machines and thry trick u to believe ur talking to them when ur not. i have that im stupid feeling lol so thanks alot douche! lol

Humbly Beautiful said...

Love the lead up to this story. I so feel ya. I love off my treo for work and personal life. If I lost it or it was broke I would be so hurt. I don't know anyone's phone number...not even mother's because it is plugged into my phone and I never dial it, so sad. I sometimes think what would life would be without at cell phone and what did people do before cell phones. I have had a cell since the age of 13-14 and have always been able to communicate. I feel your pain.

Black And Single said...

excellent , well written

Darius T. Williams said...'se a damn fool!

Muze said...


i feel the same about my celly. lol.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

you had me fooled
there i was thinking
'there are still a few good ol romantic men out there

Pajnstl said...

I once cried over my broken I completly understand lol

Adrienne said...

HAHAHAHH! I LOVE THIS POST!!! I almost DIED waiting on my BB to come in the mail!! I totally understand! LOL

Brothers Blog said...

@ Miss.Stefanie - Thanks for the compliment on the writing. Yeah I can't survive without my phone it's sad I know.

@ Just Jasmine - LMAO. Yeah I know I'm a fool. I see you feel me.

@ Melynn - LMAO @ you putting BB multi tasking on your resume. But I can do the same must admit that. I'm in Chicago too so you know I feel you.

@ Stargazer - Yeah sorry bout that. lol. I am romantic though. lol. Yeah naked doesn't even describe it.

@ Cherish - naw not in love. just addicted to my cell. lol

@ 3rd Twinn - Yeah I feel disconnected for real. Like what can I do? lol

@ Nellz - lol. Naw you don't have to come to chicago to beat anyone up. lol. But yeah I had an sk now I got a g-1 so can't do nothing without it.

@ ClnMike - My bad fam. lol. But yeah the thought alone is too much to bear.

@ LadyLee - lol @ a broad. But if I had a cheap one I wouldn't be as attached.

@ Tuotierugif - Yes I know I am.

@ SexxyLuv - 96hours that's way too long. 24 was too much for me.

@ Superwoman - Yeah in love... with a phone. lol

@ Sharon - Naw no one special enough for me to express like that yet. lol

LB - you're funny well yes you definitely knew from the beginning and one of the few.

@ Anji Marie - Thanks for the love. We appreciate it much.

@ Dope Fiend - lol I am a sweet dude, just don't have anyone to be sweet to. lol. But man you had some bad luck with phones I see.

@ Fab 4 - LOL Yeah sad that I felt like that about my phone. lol.

@ Reggie - Yeah I know I am fam. lol

@ Teems - Wow water yeah that's no good. I'm too attached I know.

@ Untouched Jewel - lol yeah I know it seemed like it was about a girl. But I can't go too long without my phone.

@ Nodaysoff - lol. 2 on the hip damn what kinda business you in over there?

@ JayneDough - I am a great guy or so I've been told. lol. But yeah I thought about that when writing like this could be the trickery I was talking about with the voice mails. lol

@ Humbly beautiful - thanks. But yeah I don't know anyone's # either. Well 3 people. My mom, my bro, and my son's mom. That's about it. Everyone else is in the phone.

@ Black&single - thanks

@ Darius - lmao Yeah I know I am man.

@ Definitelymaybe - I am romantic so don't give up hope we're still out here.

@ Muze - lol see you feel me.

@ Pajnstl - yeah didn't cry but man I was lost.

@ Adrienne - thanks alot. And yeah it's a terrible feeling.

T. Michelle Theus said...

lol...somehow I knew you were going to be talking about a damn phone. lol But I can relate, I would be distraught if anything happened to my treo =/

Jenna Marie christian said...

I'm am so late, because I just ran across your blog, but i must say that your writing captured me.

I was pulled into this love story as if i was going through it myself and to were talking about your

That's awesome:-) Job well done!!