For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

Plural Familes??

Well after I watched the Celtics win the NBA Finals last night and watched all the highlights and interviews, I found myself flipping through channels. I happen to come across Oprah which I never watch except on rare occasions. Well this quickly became one of those occasions as I learned the topic being discussed was polygamy aka Plural families (the new PC term). So I sat intrigued watching Oprah interview three wives and one husband.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200710/tows_past_20071026.jhtml

Needless to say, that this got me to thinking on the whole subject of polygamist and had to add my two cents to the pot. First off, and I believe Oprah touched on the same point, but I've been married before (thankfully to only one woman). However, I found it difficult to keep this one woman happy, pleased, and satisfied all of the time (as I'm sure most husbands do). Therefore, my question is how in the HELL is it possible for this man to keep 3 wives happy and pleased even some of the time? As they say "Happy Wife Happy Life. " But maybe this guy only goes for 2 out of 3 when it comes to that rule. And when I say happy and satisfied I don't only mean sexually. In fact, we all know it takes so much more than sex to keep a woman pleased and happy sex is a very small part of the equation.

I just think that as much as guys want to fantasize about three-somes and having more than one woman, it takes a special man to take it to this level. "When asked who sleeps where he said I have my room and they all have their own rooms." So I'm wondering is this like some type of reality show or something, where these women compete in some sort of game or event to see who gets to sleep with the husband that night (i.e. Flavor of Love)? Or do they have a calendar and pick days? I'm just curious because it just doesn't seem as simple as they attempted to make it seem.

Moving on, there is something else I've yet to mention. Well this particular family had a total of about 22 kids (yes 22 that's not a typo). Now I have one child, and my one child is much more than a handful all by himself. So I can't even imagine having a house full of 22 kids. I don't even think 3 mothers is enough for 22 kids. That is still an average of 7.3333333 kids per mother. I'm sure they all range in ages so perhaps some of the older children pitch in to help with the younger. But my next question was obviously how in the HELL does this man support all of these kids? I mean God forbid one of the women ever leaves because I'm sure his whole damn check will go to child support. LoL. Don't get me wrong children are a wonderful blessing and all but I don't know any woman that would still be willing to marry a man knowing she would have to pop out 7.33 children. Then, I don't know how but all 3 of these women were all of reasonable weight and proportion. Now I know that every woman's body reacts differently after pregnancy but man 7 kids and still slim I'm sure many women would like to know the secret (or would they?).

Well the family on the show painted such a pretty picture of their "Plural" family. Of course insuring that there were no type of abuse going on in his household. However, Oprah of course had someone else that escaped a polygamist sect that spoke out stating that there was abuse and that she was forced to marry at age 18. I mean I can't personally prove or disprove either of these families allegations. However, all I know is that something isn't right. I know they use the basis of religious beliefs as their reasoning for having multiple wives and the wives having to dress and wear their hair as they do but it's not on sale so I'm not buying it.

Of course we've yet to address the illegal aspect of the whole polygamy story. Yes it is against the law to marry more than one person at the same time. Therefore, as Oprah stated many of the men don't come forward to speak out about their practice. However, this particular man chose to come out and talk about it. I guess Oprah was offering enough for him to risk it. Don't forget he's got 22 kids to feed. But overall I don't see risking going to jail to marry more than one woman worth it to me. It seems as if they feel that as long as they're not hurting anyone by this practice they should be able to marry as many women as possible. But to that I say well I'm sure prostitutes feel the same way they're not hurting anyone by performing their service but yet and still it's illegal. So the bottom line is just as they risk going to jail for their actions so should you for yours. Well inquiring minds would like to know this, why are there never wives with multiple husbands in these polygamist sects? Well the fact there is no answer for that question pretty much proves my feelings towards polygamists.

Finally in speaking on polygamist, I recall pop singer Akon was rumored to be a polygamist and to actually be coming out with a reality show centered around his family life.

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/akon%20plans%20polygamy%20show_1014602

However, I'm sure the production was quickly halted after the stunt Akon pulled with the under age girl on stage. I highly doubt that would help to put to rest any of the rumors surrounding polygamist at all. Well speaking of celebrities, I guess if I was into the multiple women thing I think I'd more go the Hugh Hefner route and have 3 "girlfriends" as he calls them. Not only does he get to enjoy the same lifestyle but he is also safe from prosecution.

C-Recks Out!!

Father's Pay!!

Yes it's that time of year again. Father's Day. And for all you dads out there breaking your neck and back to provide and care for your children you need only read this first paragraph the rest will not apply to you. But just keep up the great work, I have nothing but respect for Real Men such as yourselves. So on this Father's Day you fathers by all means fire up a BBQ grill and drink your favorite beer on me. You deserve it for all you do!!

Okay now that we got that out of the way. I also have a dedication for you other fathers. What other fathers might you ask? Well you know the so called fathers that aren't in their children's lives. Some may call them "sperm donors" or "deadbeat dads." I have quite a few expletives that I could use to describe them myself. However, what we call them is not really what this blog is about. My question is this, if you have a child or children and you have no part in their lives, How can you even look at yourself in the mirror each day? How can you go about your day to day lives knowing there is a little person that looks like you and that needs you in their life? Well don't attempt to answer the questions they are simply rhetorical and whatever your answer is won't be valid to me anyway.

Now I will be candid. When I found out my ex-wife was pregnant over 5 years ago I never anticipated 2 years later being divorced, paying child support and only seeing my son on the weekends. It would have been very easy for me to duck my obligations, quit my job, work for cash or part time or whatever trickery you so called men come up with to avoid paying child support. But I didn't I stood up as a Man and faced my responsibilities. I cherish and look forward to each and every weekend I get to spend time with my son. Now I'm not saying that just because I pay my child support and spend time with my son that I deserve a trophy or Father of the year Plaque. In fact, rapper Common said in his song "Retrospect for life" "weekend visits and buying J's (Jordan's) that don't make you a father." I agree with this statement because it's about more than what you buy your kids and that you spend time with them. Besides, what good is spending time if the time spent should be quality bonding?

Furthermore on that point, I personally don't think you should be rewarded for doing what you're supposed to do. Now the men that assume another man's responsibility and are raising some other man's child(ren) those men deserve a round of applause. Even greater than those men raising another man's child(ren), are the single mothers that have to play both the role of mother and father. To you women I don't know how you do it but I give you a level of respect beyond words. I know it has to be difficult to get up every morning go to work, get your kids off to school, work all day, come home after a long day's work, check homework, put the kids to bed and do it all over again. Then add in the fact that you do it all by yourself with no help. Now that deserves a standing ovation!!

Now back to the subject at hand. That's right the "Deadbeat Dads." Now I'm not one to advocate violence. But "beat" seems to be a fitting word as punishment for some of these men. But as much as we'd like to tie them to a tree and let the women and children have at it pinata style that wouldn't necessarily be the "right" thing to do. But there is a such thing called Karma and when karma comes back it's usually 3X's as hard. So therefore, fret not. In fact, I came across an article where last year on Father's Day the Cook County Sheriff implemented "Operation Father's Pay and decided give some Deadbeat Dad's a wonderful Father's Day gift. That's right a pair of shiny new bracelets.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb5273/is_200706/ai_n20570794

Now that's what I call Karma baby!!! And for those of you that continue to allude the authorities I'm sure Karma will eventually have his wrath on you as well. And with the help of the trusty Internet I'm sure someone will recognize you and turn you in. While you're here take a look at this list of "Deadbeats" and make sure you don't recognize any of them.

http://www.co.lake.il.us/Sheriff/Person/IndexDeadBeat.asp

In conclusion, I know that the Job of being a father is not an easy one by any means. But all we can do as fathers the best that we can. And if you're trying your hardest your child(ren) will know and in the end respect you for that. But to just blatantly ignore your responsibilities as a parent, well there is absolutely no excuse for such an action. I'll leave you with the words of rapper Ed O.G. "Be A Father to Your Child." Check out the song and video below.

Happy Father's Day to the Real Father's out there handling their business.

Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs-Be A Father to Your Child

C-Recks out!