A Dog Day Morning

No offense to any animal lovers or anyone that may work for PETA or PAWS or something, but I'm going to start this off by saying something. I hate dogs! Well not exactly hate, I know that's a strong word. But I don't like them and or have a strong disregard for them.

I know that may sound random as hell, but here's what prompted me to say this. I decided to come to work and do some overtime on this past Saturday morning. There were a few of us in the office working. Well for some damn reason my manager chooses to bring her dog to work with her on Saturdays sometimes. Don't ask me why please don't. But anyways I over heard some of the coworkers talking about the manager is coming in and bringing her dog. I say "she must of thought I wasn't coming in because I told her once about that dog."

On a previous Saturday about a year or so ago I'm sitting at my desk working and I hear some damn barking. Next thing you know this 70lb or so canine runs past our office. I'm like WTF? Sounding like the song "Who Let the dogs loose?" *Woof Woof Woof Woof* Then the dog proceeds to come in our office and is sniffing around. Then he comes up to me. I proceeded to say "Can you please get your Dog? I don't do dogs." That was the nicest I could put it considering it was my manager and I was at work. Had I been in the streets I may have said "You better get this MF-ing dog the hell away from me." So I think I was pretty nice about it considering. lol.

Well the manager then says "I will keep him up front with me don't worry." So, I mumbled under my breath oh "I'm not worried." She then does something unthinkable. She picks the dog up and is holding it as if it's a baby. If you could see her with this bag ass 70+ lb. dog in her arms patting it on it's back and rocking it, you would have had the same WTF look on your face. She then proceeds to talk in baby talk to the dog saying, "you have to stay out here because he doesn't like you it's okay girl mommy still wuvs you." Now I never even talked baby talk to my son when he was a baby. Me and his mom both agreed that was a no no! So I couldn't fathom a grown ass woman talking to a dog in baby talk. I guess like Jay-Z said "I'm like a dog I don't speak but I understand, where my dogs at..."

Well when the manager came in this past Saturday there was no dog with her. I guess someone must've got her the message that I was in the office. Now I'm sure some of you are reading and asking yourself what's so wrong with a dog? Why don't you like them? I will say this in their defense. I don't really like any pets. However, if I'm ever ballin' and on MTV Cribs the only pets I will have are some fish. You know those tight ass fish tanks the stars usually have. But I'll have enough money to pay someone to care for it, so I won't be the one changing the water and all that. lol. But just so you know I don't have a fear of dogs or animals, nor am I allergic to them. I simply don't understand what all the hype over them is. Man's best friend? I think not. I already have a best friend. Nevertheless, the main reason I don't care for them is because there are just some things that I will never get when it comes to people and their dogs. Below you will find my list of those things.

Treating dogs like kids

I understand that not everyone has children. In the case of my manager she does not. Therefore, her dog is like her child. Although some treat their dogs as a member of the family, it's not a child. Come on there is a big difference. When it's cold outside I make sure I dress my son warmly so he doesn't get sick. Whenever I see a dog wearing a sweater I just never understand it. I mean I'm not the smartest person in the world, but didn't God give certain animals fur for a reason? And isn't that so that they can withstand extreme temperatures? I mean I never turned past the discovery channel and saw a polar bear rockin a hoodie or a penguin in a scarf. Why? Because God created them to withstand the cold. I know it's more about the dog owner than the dog being cold. They think it's cute. No difference when parents dress their kids up in funny clothes when they're babies. On babies it's cute but on a dog? Come on now.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Why on earth you would let a dog sleep in the bed with you is beyond me. I've known and heard of couples that literally have their dog sleeping in between them. Most dogs are outside at some point in the day, so unless you put shoes on them too they can't be too clean. Also, they s**t and don't wipe. And you mean to tell me you're comfortable with waking up to a dog's ass in your face? Or what about when you and your significant other want turn over in the middle of the night and get a little frisky? You may feel someone licking your face, but it may not be the person you want. LoL.

Kissing the Dog

Speaking of licking your face. I would have to say that a dog licking your face has got to be one of the most disgusting things ever. I don't know if it's just a myth portrayed on TV or not, but don't dogs drink from the toilet? If so why the hell would you want that same tongue licking you in your mouth? I mean really think about it. If you an absolutely fine (wo)man came up to you and asked can they french kiss you right now, most would answer Yes! But what if they said but just so you know I just drank water out of a toilet? I highly doubt most would still want that kiss. So how is a dog any better or cleaner in that respect?


Pick it Up Pick it Up

Now I know that most dog owners adhere to this law and clean up after their pets handle their business. However, those that don't deserve more than a fine if caught. Why should I have to be subjected to possibly stepping in dog s**t if I walk through some grass? I mean when my son was a baby I threw his stinky pampers in the trash not on the ground for someone else to pick up or step in.

Doggy Day Care
I recently overheard a co-worker saying something to another employee about a doggy day care. Apparently one of the amenities of this Doggy Hotel is that they have a streaming web cam available so that you can view your dog on-line at any time. Sounds like a great idea right? Well I went on the site link above to investigate how much such a service would cost. How about the fees are $35 a day or $460 a month. Now as a parent I can only compare this to the cost of day care for children. Which can average from $600 a month or more depending on the facility. I don't know about anyone else but I haven't even heard of a kid's daycare having such a service. I'm sure that many parents would love to be able to view what goes on in their day care facilitiy while their at work. But again that's one of my problems with dogs, some people treat them equal to or better than humans. Some of these doggy hotels even offer traditional spa services such as aroma therapeutic massages and pawdicures. Can a dog really get that stressed out that they need a massage? You have to be kidding me!

Michael Vick
Finally, speaking of Dogs getting treated better than humans... You should have known it was coming when I started talking about the subject of dogs. But we all know the story about Michael Vick and his sentencing to 23 months in Federal prison for his role in the dog fighting conspiracy. I'm not trying to say that what Vick and his co-conspirators did was right. It was definitely illegal and absolutely immoral. And as much as I don't like dogs I definitely wouldn't want to see any animal abused or neglected. However, the problem I have with the Michael Vick situation is that to me it seems that the dogs have been somehow humanized. I mean how many cases have we seen and heard of where a terrible crime has been committed, but the offender(s) are sentenced to little or no time? Take for instance the case of a man that was convicted of only 60 days of jail time in Vermont back in 2006. Believe it or not the man was found guilty of having sexual contact with a 6 year old girl over the course of 4 years. I know that different states have different laws, but 60 damn Days? WTF? You mean to tell me that dog fighting is a worse crime than sexually assaulting a child? That's just a damn shame. It's just a dog!!

Well I could go on and on about expensive Vet bills, dog whisperers, and buying gifts for dogs, but I think you get my point by now. My dislike for dogs isn't from any tragic experience as a kid or anything like that. I just can't for the life of me comprehend why some people go to certain extremes for their dogs. It's fine to have a dog but I say please treat them as a dog not like a human. They're pets and should stay in a pets place.

--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.??

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday. In this weekly segment we will be highlighting women that we feel fit into the category of M.I.L.F. Again, if you're not familiar with the term M.I.L.F. keep in mind it is an acronym for (Mother I'd Like To F____). Feel free to fill in your own F-word there. But my personal criteria for a woman to qualify as a M.I.L.F. would be that she would have to be an attractive lady over the age of 35 with at least 1 child. So here's this week's lineup...

Thandie Newton - Age 37

If you ask my brother his dream girl would be a beautiful black woman with a British accent. Don't ask me why ask him. lol. Well I know for sure that Thandie Newton fits into this category. Born and raised in London, Newton began acting in the early 90's but had no note worthy roles. It wasn't until a role the 1994 movie "Interview with the Vampire" that she came on the radar. She later on went to play roles in movies like "Jefferson in Paris," and "Gridlock'd." And no man can forget her role in "Beloved," the movie adaptation of Toni Morrison's book. In that movie she appears naked and pregnant in one particular scene. Other movie roles included: "Mission Impossible II," "The Truth About Charlie," "Crash," "Pursuit of Happyness," "Norbit," "Run Fatboy Run," and most recently in "W" as Condoleeza Rice. Also she played in about 13 episodes of the TV show E.R. At age 37 Thandie has 2 daughters ages 8 and 4 and you probably would never even be able to tell she's had children.

Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas - Age 37

In 1992 when the group TLC jumped on the music scene with their single "Aint Too Proud to Beg," the group became instant sex symbols. Also wearing the colorful condoms everywhere was a big help with that as well. But even though the group wore baggy clothes which were the trend back then they were still sexy. Well when their 2nd album CrazySexyCool dropped they let go of the baggy clothes and wore more feminine attire. It was at that time where I chose my favorite of the 3 which was Chilli. The group went on to record 2 more albums and sell millions more. Unfortunately tragedy struck when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002. Chilli is still working on her solo career. She's also acted in movies such as "House Party 3," "Hav Plenty," and "Snow Day." Her acting resume also includes shows such as: "That 70's Show," "The Parkers," and "Strong Medicine." Of course we all know Chilli was romantically involved with Usher until he released his "Confessions" album in 2004. Believe it or not Chilli has an 11 year old son with producer Dallas Austin.

Sharon Leal - Age 37

Ironically today October 17th is Sharon Leal's 37th B-day. Well happy birthday Sharon as a gift allow me to induct you onto our M.I.L.F. List. Sharon began acting on the soap opera "The Guiding Light." She then moved on to act in the TV shows "Legacy," "Boston Public," "Las Vegas," "LAX," and "CSI: Miami." Leal has also appeared in movies such as "Dream Girls," "Why did I get Married," and "This Christmas." She will also be in the last Bernie Mac Movie "Soul Men" that is due out soon. Leal has worked both in front of and behind the camera directing episodes of such shows as; "Sister Sister," "The Game," "One on One," "Half and Half," "Girlfriends," and "The Parenthood." Leal has a 4 year old daughter.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

Father's Pay!!

Yes it's that time of year again. Father's Day. And for all you dads out there breaking your neck and back to provide and care for your children you need only read this first paragraph the rest will not apply to you. But just keep up the great work, I have nothing but respect for Real Men such as yourselves. So on this Father's Day you fathers by all means fire up a BBQ grill and drink your favorite beer on me. You deserve it for all you do!!

Okay now that we got that out of the way. I also have a dedication for you other fathers. What other fathers might you ask? Well you know the so called fathers that aren't in their children's lives. Some may call them "sperm donors" or "deadbeat dads." I have quite a few expletives that I could use to describe them myself. However, what we call them is not really what this blog is about. My question is this, if you have a child or children and you have no part in their lives, How can you even look at yourself in the mirror each day? How can you go about your day to day lives knowing there is a little person that looks like you and that needs you in their life? Well don't attempt to answer the questions they are simply rhetorical and whatever your answer is won't be valid to me anyway.

Now I will be candid. When I found out my ex-wife was pregnant over 5 years ago I never anticipated 2 years later being divorced, paying child support and only seeing my son on the weekends. It would have been very easy for me to duck my obligations, quit my job, work for cash or part time or whatever trickery you so called men come up with to avoid paying child support. But I didn't I stood up as a Man and faced my responsibilities. I cherish and look forward to each and every weekend I get to spend time with my son. Now I'm not saying that just because I pay my child support and spend time with my son that I deserve a trophy or Father of the year Plaque. In fact, rapper Common said in his song "Retrospect for life" "weekend visits and buying J's (Jordan's) that don't make you a father." I agree with this statement because it's about more than what you buy your kids and that you spend time with them. Besides, what good is spending time if the time spent should be quality bonding?

Furthermore on that point, I personally don't think you should be rewarded for doing what you're supposed to do. Now the men that assume another man's responsibility and are raising some other man's child(ren) those men deserve a round of applause. Even greater than those men raising another man's child(ren), are the single mothers that have to play both the role of mother and father. To you women I don't know how you do it but I give you a level of respect beyond words. I know it has to be difficult to get up every morning go to work, get your kids off to school, work all day, come home after a long day's work, check homework, put the kids to bed and do it all over again. Then add in the fact that you do it all by yourself with no help. Now that deserves a standing ovation!!

Now back to the subject at hand. That's right the "Deadbeat Dads." Now I'm not one to advocate violence. But "beat" seems to be a fitting word as punishment for some of these men. But as much as we'd like to tie them to a tree and let the women and children have at it pinata style that wouldn't necessarily be the "right" thing to do. But there is a such thing called Karma and when karma comes back it's usually 3X's as hard. So therefore, fret not. In fact, I came across an article where last year on Father's Day the Cook County Sheriff implemented "Operation Father's Pay and decided give some Deadbeat Dad's a wonderful Father's Day gift. That's right a pair of shiny new bracelets.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb5273/is_200706/ai_n20570794

Now that's what I call Karma baby!!! And for those of you that continue to allude the authorities I'm sure Karma will eventually have his wrath on you as well. And with the help of the trusty Internet I'm sure someone will recognize you and turn you in. While you're here take a look at this list of "Deadbeats" and make sure you don't recognize any of them.

http://www.co.lake.il.us/Sheriff/Person/IndexDeadBeat.asp

In conclusion, I know that the Job of being a father is not an easy one by any means. But all we can do as fathers the best that we can. And if you're trying your hardest your child(ren) will know and in the end respect you for that. But to just blatantly ignore your responsibilities as a parent, well there is absolutely no excuse for such an action. I'll leave you with the words of rapper Ed O.G. "Be A Father to Your Child." Check out the song and video below.

Happy Father's Day to the Real Father's out there handling their business.

Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs-Be A Father to Your Child

C-Recks out!