Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email callmecrecks@gmail.com. Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

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Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?
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C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.

CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

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Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Karma = B**ch?

"Because karma, karma, karma comes back to you harder." - Lauren Hill "Lost Ones."

"But that karma is a bitch you steady asking God why." - Talib Kweli "Memories Live."

We've all heard the sayings above when it comes to the dreaded karma. However, I often sit back and think about my life and some of the things I've been through and done. At times that leads me to wonder is this karma thing real? I mean like anyone in life I've done some things in life that I consider to be bad. I'm not going to go through a list, but you can trust and believe it's the truth. But when I think about those actions and think about whether or not I was paid back by karma I can't always correlate the two.

Alright I'm sure you're awaiting at least one example. Well as a youth I wasn't always the model of outstanding citizenship I try to be today. LoL. Let's just say that running with the wrong crowd will get you to doing the wrong things 9 times out of 10. Now I'm quite sure the statute of limitations on vandalism has past; however, in an effort to not snitch nor self incriminate myself I'll just say this. Broken pieces of a spark plug hurled at a car window can shatter it. Now based off of karma and it's creed one day I should come out of work or my apartment and find my car windows busted out right? Yep like Jazmine Sullivan herself had just came out the studio after recording the song and my car was the first she saw.

**Side Note: I wonder if there has been an increase of random acts of vandalism and car windows being busted out since the release of that song? I guess I can ask the same for random engagements happening since Beyonce' and the "Single Ladies" anthem. But that's all for a different blog.**

Back to karma. Now thank God I've never had to experience this, but then again I'm still fairly young in age. Therefore, I guess karma doesn't have a time line of when it strikes either. Right? Or does it just mean that karma doesn't necessarily pay you back in an "eye for an eye" kind of way? I mean bad fortune is bad fortune regardless of how you look at it. I just walked outside and my car tire on my car is flat. Now the window wasn't busted. However, it's probably 15 degrees at best outside right now and I have to go and change and put on my spare tire. Then pay to get a new tire tomorrow. So could this be karma rearing it ugly little head? Hmmm I wonder.

Now when it comes to karma I'm always reminded of a TV show that I love to watch. I'm probably one of the few black people in the world that watch it, but I was instantly pulled in from the pilot episode. The show My Name is Earl deals directly with karma. The lead character earl was an overall bad person. He basically hooked and crooked his way through life on a daily basis. Until one day he scratched off a lottery ticket (which he stole) and won $100,000. Well the very next moment he runs outside of the liquor store in celebration and BAM!! He's hit by a car. The lotto ticket blows away and Earl is stuck in the hospital with serious injuries. While in the hospital something on TV reveals the laws of karma to him. This then prompts him to create and write down a list of all of the bad things he's done in life. Once out of the hospital, he sets out to make up for and to all the people he's done wrong to in his lifetime. Upon completing the first item on the list, the unthinkable happens. Yep! The lottery ticket magically finds it's way back to Earl. Convinced that this is only the act of karma Earl sets out on these wild adventures to complete all of the items on his list.

Don't worry I don't work for NBC or anything and I wasn't trying to sell anyone on that show. LoL. But, it is relevant to the topic at hand. I mean on some real talk I've had people do some truly wrong things to me in life; however, to be honest I have never wished karma's wrath on them. I mean I've been lied to, cheated on, stolen from, and so much more. Likewise, I've probably done some equally wrong things and had the worst wished upon me for those things. Yet I try to leave those things in the past and attempt to lead a life that presently is filled with doing things that for the most part are good.

Although none of us are without sin, we all know the old saying "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I can think of people in my life that at least in my lifetime, I have never seen do any wrong. Take my grandmother for example. Since I was old enough to remember she has always been that person that just helped any and everyone she could. She has always been very religious and went to church every Sunday. When she stopped being able to get to church she still paid her tithes. Now of course she had her ways that may have annoyed people, but overall she is a caring and loving person. She is one of those people that when you think about who's going to heaven it's just no question that her name is already written in the book. I mean you name it she will do it for you if she loves you, cares for you, or even if she just feels God is telling her to do it. You're down on your luck and need a place to stay, don't worry you can stay with granny. You need to borrow money, of course granny will lend it to you. You need advice, prayer, a babysitter, a meal, you name it and she would do it for you. Sadly, I've seen people steal from her for no reason at all. Because if they really needed the same amount of money they stole she would give it to them no questions asked.

Well in recent years my grandmother's situation hasn't been the best at all. Horrible things have happened. From her health deteriorating, to losing the house she owned for over 40 years (the house I grew up in as a child pictured to the left. It pains me to drive past the house and see how it looks now). When this happened no one was there nor in a position to help her. Including her own church which she gave only God knows how much money to over 40 + years. (Again that's a different blog entirely). I wasn't trying to make this a sob story, but I say all that to ask was this karma's wrath eventually catching up with her? I mean I've heard stories that my grandmother wasn't always a holy individual. So, was this the payback that she may have been avoiding all those years?

Honestly, I really don't know the answers to all the questions I asked in this post. I know I kept mentioning karma, but I think it simply alludes to the fact that there is a higher power. Therefore, we all need to do better and at least attempt to live our lives to a higher standard. No one is or can be perfect and will fall short of his grace. I'm by far not the most religious person at all. But I like to think that good deeds are rewarded with blessings. And well in contrast nothing good can come from bad deeds. Unfortunately, there are some people do wrong all the time and seem to still live far better then those that constantly do good. But I go on doing good knowing that there always has to be a balance in the universe. Not that I wish bad on anyone, but I guess eventually things will shape out and those bad deeds will never go unpunished. Call it a bitch or whatever word you want to use. Either way I guess that's just karma for you.

P.S. I wrote this with thoughts of someone that recently did me extremely wrong. They left me in a horrible situation knowing they could have easily done something to help. I'm not sure if they still read this blog or not. I could easily say I hope karma repays you for doing me wrong. But regardless just know that I don't have it in me to hate you for what you've done to me over this stretch of time. So with that said I don't wish bad upon you at all. I know you've been through much in the last year, so in fact, I hope and pray for you and your family. I pray that this year for you will be a 180 from last year. And not that you're concerned or worried about me anyway, but I'll always be alright in the end. So no hard feelings.

--C-Recks--

To Know or Not To Know

"I don't wanna know If you're playin' me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore. And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know. " - Mario Winans.

When this song came out in 2004 I didn't know at the time but I was in a similar situation as Mario Winans was speaking of. Yep I was being cheated on. Well I just now heard the song on the radio and started to think. If I could go back to that situation with my ex would I really want to know? Meaning if I could have found out in advance from her as opposed to the way I found out would I rather have known? Or if say a friend would have seen her would I really want them to tell me? Well regardless of what transpired previously my immediate reaction to this question is still hell yes dammit tell me!! Whether it be from her directly of someone else by all means let me know. Not sure what each of your responses are but my response to the question based on a number of reasons as you'll read below.



Respect my health. First off the obvious reason has to do with my own personal health. If you're out there creeping and still coming home doing the thing with me too I should have the right to know. If we're in a committed relationship then most likely we're not using any type of protection. Now I would hope as you creep out doing your dirt that you would use some type of protection to keep yourself clean. However, regardless if you are or not at least give me the opportunity to make the decision of if I want to risk still sleeping with you.




Help me to avoid the confrontation. Tell me now so that there won't be any surprises. Whatever I choose to do with the information well that's just a consequence of telling. But at least telling me in advance lessens the chances of the consequences being violent. Although, it may not make me any less angry at what you did at least hearing it from you as opposed to catching you or hearing it from a 3rd party will ''hopefully'' keep me from reacting on that anger.

True story: When my ex and I were going through whatever some years back I recall going out to pay some bills. We had 2 cars and our son was in the car with me. So as I make a turn I see a car that looks like hers drive past in the opposite lane of traffic and stop at the light. I thought naw it couldn't be there's a guy driving. But my instinct tells me to just make sure. So I make a U-Turn and pull up on the right side of the car. As I'm pulling up I immediately noticed from the plate number that it's definitely her car. As I pull up next to the car I look over and it's none other than my (then) wife. And some negro driving the car I just made a payment on. Now everything in me wanted to crash into the car and then get out and grab the tire iron out the trunk and start smashing the s**t out of her car. Then probably take the same punishment out on the 2 of them. Honestly, I'm really not violent at all but hey I am human. But again those were just my natural instincts and luckily they didn't kick in. I had to remember I had my son who was not even a year old in the back seat. So instead I pulled up next to the car slowly and as she looked to the right saw my face. The look on her face was priceless. Now I have heard the saying "if looks could kill." Well let's just say that if they could that day her ass would have instantly died in that passenger seat. Thank God I didn't do anything crazy, I turned at the light and let them go on there way. But the point of the story is don't put me in the position to have to claim temporary insanity before a judge because I happen to catch you up.



Don't turn me into Sherlock Homeboy. Why make me go through the motions of suspecting you are cheating and trying to find evidence of this. Next thing you know you got me searching through your phone, e-mails, listening on your calls, checking up on whether or not you are where you say you are, etc. Got me out here like that Mya Song "Ridin'." You know the lyrics "I'm ridin', I'm ridin' past your momma's house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin' past your boys house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin', I'm ridin' tryin to find you..." Yeah that's a horrible place to be right there. But then when I don't initially find anything I look like the crazy jealous spouse. You even make me feel bad for suspecting you of cheating and call me insecure.

Don't make me look like a fool. If you know you're out there doing what you doing and there are others (like your girls or family), know then don't have me around them like everything is all good. Because while I'm still thinking we all in love and I'm steady doing all the things that I would normally do, your friends and or family are saying in their head "poor fool if he only knew." Now the worst of the worst would be to actually have me around the the person you're cheating with. This is just plain foul. Because while I'm being all cool and buddy buddy with them, you both knowing damn well I'm playing myself like a game of solitaire the whole time.




Don't waste my time. If you are so unhappy that you must cheat on your spouse then at least come clean and admit what you've done. Why let the relationship drag on for months and years while you're unhappy and still out there cheating? Doing this is nothing but being stingy and inconsiderate. Basically you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Although you're unhappy you're still staying. Whether it be for financial, emotional, or other reasons you're still leading your spouse on. In those months you've prolonged the inevitable we could have split, gone our separate ways, and I could have possibly been over it by now. Or I could have dealt with the initial infraction of you cheating and we could have either gotten past it or ended things cordially. But instead you chose to waste my time.





Man or Woman Up!! The bottom line is that yes cheating is dead wrong, but unfortunately it happens every day all day. Yep right now someone's man or woman is cheating on them as you read. It's very sad I know. But we all make mistakes in life some bigger than others. But just like any other wrong doing what you do after is what's going to determine your true character. Will you admit your wrong doing and accept whatever the consequences of your actions may be? Or will you hide your cheating and keep stringing your significant other along? My suggestion is to Man or Woman Up!! What's done in the dark will eventually come to light as they say. And Karma always comes back to you harder.





--C-Recks--