To Know or Not To Know

"I don't wanna know If you're playin' me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore. And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know. " - Mario Winans.

When this song came out in 2004 I didn't know at the time but I was in a similar situation as Mario Winans was speaking of. Yep I was being cheated on. Well I just now heard the song on the radio and started to think. If I could go back to that situation with my ex would I really want to know? Meaning if I could have found out in advance from her as opposed to the way I found out would I rather have known? Or if say a friend would have seen her would I really want them to tell me? Well regardless of what transpired previously my immediate reaction to this question is still hell yes dammit tell me!! Whether it be from her directly of someone else by all means let me know. Not sure what each of your responses are but my response to the question based on a number of reasons as you'll read below.



Respect my health. First off the obvious reason has to do with my own personal health. If you're out there creeping and still coming home doing the thing with me too I should have the right to know. If we're in a committed relationship then most likely we're not using any type of protection. Now I would hope as you creep out doing your dirt that you would use some type of protection to keep yourself clean. However, regardless if you are or not at least give me the opportunity to make the decision of if I want to risk still sleeping with you.




Help me to avoid the confrontation. Tell me now so that there won't be any surprises. Whatever I choose to do with the information well that's just a consequence of telling. But at least telling me in advance lessens the chances of the consequences being violent. Although, it may not make me any less angry at what you did at least hearing it from you as opposed to catching you or hearing it from a 3rd party will ''hopefully'' keep me from reacting on that anger.

True story: When my ex and I were going through whatever some years back I recall going out to pay some bills. We had 2 cars and our son was in the car with me. So as I make a turn I see a car that looks like hers drive past in the opposite lane of traffic and stop at the light. I thought naw it couldn't be there's a guy driving. But my instinct tells me to just make sure. So I make a U-Turn and pull up on the right side of the car. As I'm pulling up I immediately noticed from the plate number that it's definitely her car. As I pull up next to the car I look over and it's none other than my (then) wife. And some negro driving the car I just made a payment on. Now everything in me wanted to crash into the car and then get out and grab the tire iron out the trunk and start smashing the s**t out of her car. Then probably take the same punishment out on the 2 of them. Honestly, I'm really not violent at all but hey I am human. But again those were just my natural instincts and luckily they didn't kick in. I had to remember I had my son who was not even a year old in the back seat. So instead I pulled up next to the car slowly and as she looked to the right saw my face. The look on her face was priceless. Now I have heard the saying "if looks could kill." Well let's just say that if they could that day her ass would have instantly died in that passenger seat. Thank God I didn't do anything crazy, I turned at the light and let them go on there way. But the point of the story is don't put me in the position to have to claim temporary insanity before a judge because I happen to catch you up.



Don't turn me into Sherlock Homeboy. Why make me go through the motions of suspecting you are cheating and trying to find evidence of this. Next thing you know you got me searching through your phone, e-mails, listening on your calls, checking up on whether or not you are where you say you are, etc. Got me out here like that Mya Song "Ridin'." You know the lyrics "I'm ridin', I'm ridin' past your momma's house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin' past your boys house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin', I'm ridin' tryin to find you..." Yeah that's a horrible place to be right there. But then when I don't initially find anything I look like the crazy jealous spouse. You even make me feel bad for suspecting you of cheating and call me insecure.

Don't make me look like a fool. If you know you're out there doing what you doing and there are others (like your girls or family), know then don't have me around them like everything is all good. Because while I'm still thinking we all in love and I'm steady doing all the things that I would normally do, your friends and or family are saying in their head "poor fool if he only knew." Now the worst of the worst would be to actually have me around the the person you're cheating with. This is just plain foul. Because while I'm being all cool and buddy buddy with them, you both knowing damn well I'm playing myself like a game of solitaire the whole time.




Don't waste my time. If you are so unhappy that you must cheat on your spouse then at least come clean and admit what you've done. Why let the relationship drag on for months and years while you're unhappy and still out there cheating? Doing this is nothing but being stingy and inconsiderate. Basically you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Although you're unhappy you're still staying. Whether it be for financial, emotional, or other reasons you're still leading your spouse on. In those months you've prolonged the inevitable we could have split, gone our separate ways, and I could have possibly been over it by now. Or I could have dealt with the initial infraction of you cheating and we could have either gotten past it or ended things cordially. But instead you chose to waste my time.





Man or Woman Up!! The bottom line is that yes cheating is dead wrong, but unfortunately it happens every day all day. Yep right now someone's man or woman is cheating on them as you read. It's very sad I know. But we all make mistakes in life some bigger than others. But just like any other wrong doing what you do after is what's going to determine your true character. Will you admit your wrong doing and accept whatever the consequences of your actions may be? Or will you hide your cheating and keep stringing your significant other along? My suggestion is to Man or Woman Up!! What's done in the dark will eventually come to light as they say. And Karma always comes back to you harder.





--C-Recks--

Scavenger Hunt

So I got an e-mail yesterday from a girl I used to talk to a few years back. It was a surprise to even hear from her considering we hadn't talked in over a year. So we e-mailed back and forth a few times and caught up. She asked the usual catching up questions about career, kids, and love life. I answered each question. And in turn asked her the same questions. She answered all in detail; however, when I asked about love life she said uhhhh and hesitated. In the back of my head I'm thinking uh oh that's not good. But she proceeded to tell me she had been with her man for a year now and how things weren't going well and why. Now I didn't ask for all these details, but she felt the need to tell me. So I simply listened to all she had to say but I didn't say anything back to her about her situation. But then I began to think more about it and well now I have this to say.


To my fellas you better get on your A+ Game!!! If you got a good woman I'm telling you now don't slip up. Take it from a man that's been through it before. Let my pain save you from the same fate. There are men out there as we speak that are just waiting on you to mess up. Unfortunately if you've already messed up well you better get it together and real quick. I know this doesn't apply to all women, and I'm no expert but I feel like the majority of women fall into this category here. Those women aren't going to leave their man or cheat on him just off G.P. Women need a good reason in order to just mentally justify it within themselves. The fact is that any average to good looking woman is going to be pursued all day every day by men. Whether she is at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, walking down the street, or on the Internet a guy will be trying to holla. So therefore, if her man is on his job she may hear these advances but they go in one ear and out the other. However, let you start slipping up. Oh you better believe her ears will start hearing it all and worse than hearing it she may act upon what she hears.

Now the reason I call them scavengers is because just like real scavengers in the wild (i.e. a vulture or a hyena) they prey upon the weak, hurt and or dead (which can all be describe the status of your relationship). And as soon as they see an opportunity to swoop in and get your woman they will definitely take it. No man (unless you're a scavenger yourself) appreciates nor really likes the scavenger men. But they're a part of life. And unfortunately you still have to respect they gangsta! As it was once told to me in so many words "Yo chick chose me." LoL. Just look at the example I opened with. Luckily for her man I'm not one of these scavengers or else she would have given me all the info I needed to make my next move my best move.

But again all you can do is be on your A+ Game at all times and set the bar high enough that no other man can even reach what you do or will do for your woman. As they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. Or what you don't appreciate someone else will. Choose whatever clever cliche you want to use, but it all boils down to the same thing. Betty Wright gave the female's perspective on the same topic and warned about the "The Clean Up Woman." Well unfortunately these scavengers have constant ammunition they can use to shoot game at your woman. And it comes in the form of song lyrics. We've all heard these songs before. But don't let one of them come on when your woman is next to you and you know you have messed up. Oh do I feel for you. LoL.

So, with that said we've compiled our Top Ten songs that talk about taking another man's woman! (Could be your woman...)


#10 - Chris Brown - Ya Man Aint Me
Even the young'n Chris Brown is no fool when it comes to knowing what to say to get to another man's girl. As you can listen in the song he tells the young lady "giving you things to think about cause I know what's up) Since he aint tryna step it up, don't you think you should give him up?" See a lot of the times the only goal is to plant a seed in the mind. He's simply making a suggestion. By the time he reaches the chorus the lyrics state "Stop tripping, I know you got a man but girl he's slipping, I can see myself gettin in where I fit in." And I'm sure that by the time he gets to the bridge he's managed to change her mind. "You and him aint meant to be together, life with me will be better. Yes, let him leave you'll be doing yourself a favor girl I'm just tryna save you." This was very smooth, he even managed to cover up his actual intentions by making it as if he's playing captain Save Em'.

#9 - Keith Sweat Feat. Keyshia Cole - Love You Better
Keith Sweat has been begging since the the 80's. Well he's back this year with a new album and on it features this little gem of a song. He teams up with Keyshia Cole as he puts her man on full blast. Check out the lines of the first verse: "You need to go and let him know right now. ‘Cuz he don’t even know how to make you smile. Y’all don’t even makin love, see it’s over baby. He spend all his night at the strip club. When what he got at home girl is real love." Now I'm not mad at anyone for going to the strip club but how is he gone put her man's business out there like that. And further more I'm just curious how he knows how much time he spends at the strip club unless he frequents the same establishment. The chorus gets to the point and lets her know what her next move should be. "Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody new.
Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody who. Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody, Who can love you better, I can love you better."

#8 - Jesse Mccartney - Leavin'
Now here's another unique strategy of scavengers. Jesse Mccartney doesn't really have a valid argument in this song as to why she should leave her man (not one that he mentions at least). Therefore, he resorts to flaunting all he has to offer. "You make me want to take you out and let it rain (make it rain). I know you got a man, but this is what you should say." And once again there's instructions on what she needs to say to her man in the chorus. "Why won’t you tell him that... I’m leavin', never to come back again, You found somebody who does it better than he can No more making you cry, no more of them gray skies, Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5
And we're leavin', never to come back again, So call your shorty and tell him you found a new man. The one that so, so fly, The one that keep you high... Don't Stress Girl you deserve nothing but the best." Again I don't know what this girl's man did besides probably being broke but sometimes that's enough to cause you to slip up.

#7 - Sam Salter - Once my S**t (Always my S**t)

Well Sam Salter brings us to another version of the scavenger. This is actually one that you should already be leery and aware of. It's the Ex. Although he should technically be out of the picture lets just say he can easily find his way on the scene especially if you start messing up. His only hope is that you're messing up worse than he did to lose her. And in this song Sam quickly makes it known that he's waiting on his opportunity to get her back. "I heard you found someone new, he's runnin round town just frontin' on you." The 2nd verse gets a little more personal. "Did he see your tattoo? With my name written all over you. I know that he hates me, cause he can't replace me. Cause in the end I'm the one for you." Well it doesn't take long for Sam to re-mark his territory. The chorus goes as follows: "He can't do it like I do, I do, I do, No I don't give a damn who's hittin' it, I don't give a damn who's workin' it, even if he's kissin' it. Cause once my S**t ...always my s**t!!" Unfortunately you can't erase history and if you slipping up history will repeat itself but not to your benefit.

#6 - Joe - Treat Her Like a Lady
#6 was originally going to be a different song by Joe "You Dropped your Dime." However being unable to find the video to go with the song we decided to switch to a different Joe song. Although it's not quite about him taking another man's girl it's still extremely relevant. On "Treat her Like a Lady" Joe is actually doing the same thing in which I am and giving men some advice on how to prevent them from losing their ladies. Joe immediately begins by asking a series of questions throughout the song. " Tell me when was the last time, you brought her roses home from work. Tell me when was the last time, you rubbed her feet when she said they hurt. Tell me when was the last time, you bought a card to tell her how you feel. Don't even know when was the last time, you lit a candle for a late night meal."Yeah I'm sure that will hit home with a lot of you men. But don't for a second think that's it, the chorus pours even more salt into your wound. "How long will it be before you treat her like your queen. And how long will it take, before she starts coming home too late. And how long will it be, before she starts running in the streets. You better take the time to treat her like your lady." A select few of you even get a little reprieve when Joe states "Now if this don't apply to you, keep doing what you do. But if the shoe fits you well, take a minute and just ask yourself." All I gotta say is if you don't listen to me at least listen to Joe.

#5 - Mario - Let Me Love you
Mario didn't hesitate to immediately let the woman know that her situation with her man just isn't what it should be. He opens up the song stating: "Baby I just don't get it do you enjoy being hurt? I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt. You don't believe his stories you know that they're all lies. Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why." As if that wasn't enough to plead his case the chorus to the song goes on to state "If I was ya man (baby you) Never worry bout (what I do) I'd be coming home (back to you) Every night, doin' you right. You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs) Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings) Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)."

#4 - Jagged Edge - He Can't Love You
"I aint no hata or nothing but he can't love you like I can. Trust me" What a way to start off the song. It definitely sets the tone for JE to not "hate" on her man. Apparently they're playing the role of the Ex and they've let their girl slip away. Now they're trying to pull a move like Sam Salter was in song #7. The chorus says it all: "He can't love you like I love you Baby you know it too. And you should never wanna be with a man If he can't be a man And do the things to you like I can."

#3 - LL Cool J Feat. Boyz II Men- Hey Lover

LL has been writing songs for the ladies since the 80's. Hence the name LL (Ladies Love) But he definitely took it to a new level when he teamed up with Boyz II Men to do "Hey Lover." In a random encounter on the street LL sees a woman and from the onset he plans on taking her from her man. In verse one he states "I gotta take ya from your man that's my mision, If his love is real he got ta handle competition." Then next on his agenda is to build his case as he explains "you only knew him for about 5 months (that's right) besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts." Also, he states "I see you at the bus stop waitin everyday your man must think its safe for you to travel that way." But he does digress stating he's not trying to violate her relationship. Although most of L's song is a fantasy of what he would do or say to the woman it's still realistic in the fact that it's exactly how it happens.

#2 - Tre Songz - Can't Help But Wait
The person that wrote and or produced "Can't Help but Wait" must have also had something to do with the aforementioned "Let me Love you" by Mario #5. If you listen they both virtually sound the same. Although the concept is the same, Tre Songz approaches it just a little differently. "I see you, you're with him - he ain’t right but you don’t trip You stand by, while he lies - then turn right 'round and forgive. I can’t take to see your face, with those tears run down your cheeks..." Even though those words sound just the same as all the other songs the chorus is where he differentiates himself. "Girl I can’t help but wait Til’ you get back with him, it don’t change. Can’t help but wait Til’ you see that wit me it ain’t the same. Can’t help but wait Til’ you, see you, for what you really are Baby girl you are a star And I can’t help but wait." So Tre is basically saying he already knows she's going to stay with the guy even though things are bad. But even still he's going to wait for her to see it herself. Just like the others Tre says "And I don’t wanna come between you and your man. Even though I know I treat you better than he can." Then to add insult to injury he flosses a little in the 2nd verse. "You’re a queen, you should be, getting all that someone’s got. You should be rocking the latest in purses, bracelets, and watches, your're worth much more than an occasional I love you." So even after laying out his plan he is going to still be there waiting even when she doesn't choose him. But he still warns her "Get it together you can do better."

Alright we're down to #1. I'm sure you've been wondering what # this song was going to come in. But here it is the #1 song about taking another man's woman. Drum Roll Please..

#1 - Joe - All the Things your Man Won't Do
Well the title alone tells you what the topic of the song is and also explains why Joe comes in at #1 with this song. He gets right into the topic at hand with the first verse: "Tell me what kind of man would treat his woman so cold treat you like you're nothin' when you're worth more than gold. Girl, to me you're like a diamond I love the way you shine a hundred million dollar treasure I'll give the world to make you mine." Then Joe pulls out pure game when he says this line in the 2nd verse "What good is a diamond nobody can see it I hear he got you on lock down but I got the master key!" Bam! He got her right there he doesn't even have to say anything else. But why not keep going while you got her on the ropes just to officially pull her in. "I'll light a thousand candles all around. Show me to the subway, I'll go down. Nothing can be sweeter than the sound of making love." But don't think he's done yet. Joe does a little bit of over kill here at the bridge "I'll make your body cream with my sex machine I won't stop until I hear your mother scream." Making yo momma scream? Damn! Well you can see and hear for yourself why Joe is #1.

In conclusion, I can't say that all the men that fit the category of scavengers even try to do it on purpose. Sometimes it's just a crime of opportunity. No different than a man walking past an armored truck and the back door being unlocked and the bags of money are just sitting there for you to take they may as well be gift wrapped with a bow. Yes they are still committing a crime which is wrong but their intentions from the beginning weren't to rob the armored truck. They've probably never committed a crime in their life, but sometimes when it's presented to them so easy they can't help but to take advantage. So to my fellas out there make sure you take heed. It's never an overnight process and it can be happening as we speak maybe you're just not paying close enough attention. It always starts off as just friends or someone to talk to and vent to about how you messed up. You know an occasional shoulder to cry on. But you better believe the scavenger is simply playing his position just for the time being. But as soon as he sees an opportunity he will swoop in and quickly turn those things she hates about you into reasons why he should be her new man. Please believe it...

--C-Recks--

Keep It On the DownLoad

As we all know the Internet is also known as the "Information Super Highway." When I was first introduced to the Internet back in the 90's I had no clue that the Internet would become what it has become. The Information Super Highway has surpassed the German Autobahn. In other words, there are absolutely no limits as to where you can go on the Internet nor how fast you can get there. I mean whatever your heart desires you can find it on-line. That's right anything from a piece of food resembling Jesus or the Virgin Mary
http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=23 to a wig for your cat http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html. Yes I said a damn cat wig!! Click the link if you don't believe me. Lol.

But one thing that is probably the easiest thing to find on the Internet is pornography. According to statistics adult websites generate over $1 Billion in revenue yearly. There are more than 72,000 sexually explicit websites on the Internet and new sites are being added at a rapid rate of 266 per day. 25% of total search engine requests are porn-related. (Top three searches: sex, mp3 and hotmail). 8% of total emails are porn-related. The average daily pornographic emails are 4.5 per Internet user and 12% of total websites are pornographic. So again, as you can see whatever you want no matter how sick or distasteful you can find it on the Internet.

In fact, I recently came across a statistic that stated one-third of divorce litigation is actually sparked by online affairs. So, my question of the day is this. Is an online/Internet affair still considered cheating? Some people would say absolutely yes, some others would say no, and plenty remain on the fence. I'm just going to explore some aspects of each area and the good people out there can be the judge for themselves. There will be plenty of questions posed and you can answer them to yourselves as you read along.

Let us start by first defining a few terms. First term is adultery. http://www.dictionary.com/ defines adultery as: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Next, they define the word cheat as: Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife. Next, is the word infidelity is defined as 1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression. Finally, let's look at the word unfaithful, which is defined as: not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover.

Alright we now know how the dictionary defines the words adultery, cheating, infidelity, and unfaithful. As for the word adultery, the definition strictly addresses the sexual intercourse aspect. So, as we know "cyber-sex" definitely does not involve any physical contact so I would say it doesn't fit into the text book definition of adultery. In fact, when you break it down into it's simplest form, cyber-sex is nothing more than typing. That's right 2 people typing to each other. Now true enough the subject matter is what places cyber-sex into that grey area. But comparing the definition of adultery and the act of having cyber-sex do not equal the same thing by a long shot.

Now please keep in mind I am not in any way stating that it is right for an individual male or female to participate in cyber-sex if they are in a marriage or committed relationship. I'm simply stating that based off the definition I don't think it is adultery. But I'm sure some individuals are thinking yes it is, I don't care what you say or what the hell Webster (Dictionary) or Mr. Papadopoulos say. Lol. So, for those of you with that position let's explore a few examples and see if you consider them adultery as well.

Example 1: Say for instance there is a husband that frequents a local strip club from time to time. Let's Say he goes once every 2 weeks on his pay day. He stops in after work with some co-workers, has some drinks, watches the ladies, tips, and pays for a couple of private dances. He does nothing more than this. So would you consider his actions adultery?

Example 2: There is a husband that tends to watch pornography. It is not an excessive amount but he does buy and rent movies on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't necessarily hide them from his wife but they are of course not in plain view along with the regular dvds. So is him watching pornographic movies adultery? But let's take it a step further what if instead of movies he views the pornography on the Internet? Last question what if he was viewing someone (a stranger) on a web cam would that too fall into the same category of adultery? Are all of these actions one in the same or is perhaps one worse than the rest?

Example 3: An attractive wife tends to be flirtatious by nature. She doesn't try to be but she just comes off flirty in most conversations with men. Not to mention her looks obviously attract a lot of attention when she's out in public, especially from men. So, say for instance while at the grocery store she flirts with one of the stock boys. And let's say that the package they discussed in the conversation wasn't one of the boxes he was unloading. However, their conversation never go beyond the flirting and her time in the store. Is she committing Adultery?

I don't know what your individual answers to the above examples are but personally my answer is no to each of them. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel that these spouses aren't dabbling in behavior that is suspicious at best, and definitely disrespectful, if their spouses are unaware of what they are doing. Also, in each case there is potential that their actions can eventually lead to adultery taking place. But just the actions themselves I do not consider aldutery, cheating, or being unfaithful, based on our definitions. However, if you recall two of the definitions of infidelity were (1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression). So by definition I can definitely agree that these are all acts of infidelity because they are showing a level of disrespect to their spouses as well as proving themselves untrustworthy.

So how far is too far when it comes to "Internet Infidelity?" Is simply chatting in a regular chat room too much if you're married or in a committed relationship? Many would argue that if you're in a marriage then you have no reason even be in a chat room to begin with. You should be chatting with your spouse right? Well I play poker online and many of the poker websites have a chat feature. There have been times when females have attempted to chat with me. Usually starting with something like "ASL?" For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym it simply stands for Age, Sex, Location. Basically the other person is asking for your details starting with those 3. So, how far is too far? What about exchanging photo's with the person that you're chatting with? Or chatting while using a web cam? Now Keep in mind that the person on the other end is a total stranger that is probably located in some far away place. Many would say that as long as it's not chatting with someone they know personally that it's alright. For instance, if they were constantly chatting with say a co-worker is much worse than with a total stranger. The reason mainly being that if they know the person there is much more potential for harmless chatting to turn into something more. So what about chatting sexually (having cyber-sex) with that person too far? What if it's simply a cyber-sex thing and you never share anything more? Or contrast that with just chatting in general (no cyber-sex), but in those chats you share bits of your personal life, problems (possibly with your spouse), and emotions with that person? Which is worse? I'm sure anyone that has been cheated on before (I being one of them) would agree that physically being cheated on is bad enough, but when the cheater then develops an emotional attachment it's far worse.

So going further let's try this one. By now everyone and their momma at least has either a myspace, facebook, or blackplanet page. But should married individuals have them? Is that crossing the line? Some would say no it's fine just as long as your relationship status reflects that you're indeed married. Or some would say that as long as they are only using the networking site to stay in touch with current friends and re-connect with past ones there is nothing wrong with that. But my question is this, who really wants guys or girls across the world writing on their husband or wife's wall/message board saying how attractive they are? Or sending them notes or messages trying to holler at them all day long? Not trying to sound like the jealous type but I know if I was married I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Plus wouldn't having access to millions of potential "friends" be sort of a temptation? Or try this what if you met your significant other online would it be wrong for you to want them to terminate their myspace (or any other social networking) account? That's no different than a couple that met in say the club and all of a sudden one spouse says I don't want you to go to the club anymore. Is that not a contradiction?

I think the fact of the matter is that each individual couple has to establish how far is too far? I personally think when the individual is attempting to be sneaky and inconspicuous with it then that's a red flag that the chatting may be something more. I mean if it's all innocent and means nothing then what's there to hide. There should be no need for any of the following behavior if it's simply innocent chatting. For instance, if your spouse walks in the room the screen shouldn't have to be minimized nor should you be turning off the entire computer. Also, constantly chatting while your spouse is sleeping or at work, and having all of your accounts and computers password protected. Lastly, deleting the cookies on your computer after each use. All of these activities are definitely the work of someone that is trying to hide something and it can't be anything innocent.

So in conclusion, if your significant other is spending more time online than they spend with you then there could definitely be an Internet affair going on. More than anything, I think any affair whether Internet based or actually in person points to a much deeper problem. Something is lacking or not being fulfilled within the marriage or relationship. If a person will take the time to form a bond whether sexually based or emotionally based on the Internet when they have a spouse physically there living in the same home as them, then again there's something lacking. Unfortunately, if you are in this position I can't tell you what it is you'll have to do some soul searching yourself to discover the answer. But take it from someone that's been cheated on before (don't worry it was not Internet based) it's not a good feeling at all. But unfortunately, in today's times you not only have to watch out for the other man/woman on the street trying to steal your spouse. Now, you have to worry about the potential of anyone on the entire World Wide Web becoming a "cyber-mistress." Which is indeed a Sad Reality.

--C-Recks--