Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email callmecrecks@gmail.com. Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

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Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?
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C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.

CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

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Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Randomness

So I haven't done one of these in a long time and figured I'd go ahead and hit you guys with some random things about me. I have no set number of items I'm just going to ramble on until I stop. So here we go:

1.) I want to learn Spanish. As much as it could have come in handy in my old job dealing with a 90% Hispanic customer base my reason is not for career advancement. Although it may benefit in that way, I have another reason. On the real I want to learn so that I can watch the Soap Operas that come on the Spanish Channel. Maybe it's just me but I turned past the channel all the time and sometimes stop. But I swear whatever goes on in those shows is deep as hell. And dramatic as all get out!

2.) I thought about it and I've had a very wide range of best friends going back to grade school. Let's just say no one can ever say that I discriminate. 1st Grade: My best friend was disabled. Yep he had only 3 fingers (or maybe 2) on each hand. But we hung like it wasn't nothing, and I still got play from the girls back then. LoL. 3rd grade my best friend was Indian. I mean for real Indian he wore a Turban and all. Shame that they hated on him though. Someone pulled his Turban off once. Although I was glad my curiosity was finally satisfied as to what was under there I felt bad to see him cry. His hair was long as hell though. From there I went to black, Hispanic, white and now a female. Like I said I don't discriminate. Good friends are hard to come by. LoL. Not to get too deep but isn't it funny how innocent we are as kids and how race, religion, creed, and gender don't matter. All we see is another kid.

3.) My closet as I've been told resembles that of a woman's closet. I admit that I do have a lot of clothes. However, I'm not like a female when it comes to shopping. I actually hate shopping. I blame my grandmother for that. As a shorty we would have to spend hours upon hours waiting in the store for her to finish shopping. And as boys we would play and get into stuff. And as soon as you did she would pinch the HELL out of us!!! But as for my shopping my problem lies with bargain shopping I tend to find great deals. Therefore when I do shop I buy a lot at once but get a great deal for the amount I spend. But yeah there you have it my closet, clothes, shoes, etc. Damn Shame! LoL. Unfortunately I didn't have time to provide a pic of my own closet.

4.) I don't know if it's partly with me being as suspicious as I am or what. However, I've noticed that I can not kiss entirely with my eyes closed. I've even tried to and I can't. Not all crazy staring like some lunatic. LoL. But at some point during the kiss I must take a little peek. Maybe it's me making sure she's enjoying as much as I am. Who knows exactly.

5.) I've done this ever since I was a kid. But I still fall asleep on any car trips over an hour long. If I'm not driving I'm sleeping. Bottom line and people who know me know that. I remember my bro and I being both drunk and sleepy leaving Vegas for L.A. I'm talking big stuff like yeah I'm gone stay up don't worry. Next thing I know I'm waking up and we're in Cali. My brother was like I knew your ass was going to fall asleep. Lol. I'm headed down to Atlanta, GA next week for my cousin's wedding. I'll be riding with my Mom and possibly brother. And I'm sure I'll be sleeping half of the trip at least. lol.

6.) As a black man it's in my DNA to love chicken. However, some would say that I don't eat it properly. You see it is impossible for me to clean a chicken bone. I just can't do it. As good as it tastes I just can't eat it all. My parents would eat after me as a kid. Now my mom just talks about me still. And my son has the same issue so far. Again, I have no clue as to why.

7.) I'm not a big sweater. Unlike the typical man I don't perspire that much. It will take some pretty strenuous activity and extreme heat for my sweat glands to go to work. Even some of the 'hardest' work one could put it may only produce a few drops of sweat from me. LoL. Now you man think I have the top line of anti-perspirant. However, that's not the case. Due to the fact that I don't really sweat I actually tend to purchase the cheapest deodorant there is. It may even say stick on the bottle or just deodorant. Lol. Not that I would ever attempt to go a day without it. But my money would be on if I did forget to use deodorant that no one would ever know I didn't.

8.) In the morning I must have a drink of juice. If there is no juice it must be something equivalent (kool-aid, tea, etc). I think I picked this up somewhere along the way from my father. He would open up anything in the fridge come the morning. He didn't care whose it was, if it was in there come morning it was subject to getting opened and drank. But for me it's almost like the morning just won't start off right without this beverage. Just like some need their morning coffee, I need my juice. Unfortunately, I haven't had any the last few days and it's not a good thing.

9.) Speaking of drinking. I discovered a long while ago that I have the weird ability to be able to drink while laying down. Yep I can lay down on my back and drink a cup of whatever without spilling or choking. People that have seen me do it wonder how I can do so without damn near choking. But I have no clue I have just always been able to do this. Weird I know. LoL.

10.) May 5th of this year I would have officially been married 8 years...if I had not gotten a divorce 4 years ago. LoL. If you are following me on twitter then you would have seen me dub that day my "Non-Iversary." LoL. It was also Cinco De Mayo so my BFF and I celebrated that as well. But I need to remember the date I got divorced and start to celebrate that day. Isn't that public record? I need to do some online searching and confirm that's in the public record before I discover my ass is still married or some garbage. Now wouldn't that be some s**t? LOL.

11.) Speaking of divorce. I have taken the opportunity of having gone through an event such as divorce at a young age and chosen to share my experiences with the world. Yep I have began drafting a book. Don't ask me when it will be done or what will take place once it is done. However, I have some stories (boy do I...) and I feel like they're so great that they must be told. In fact, I tend to tell myself just in everyday life that I must be living a movie cuz some of this stuff is purely cinematic. So stay tuned. Perhaps I'll leak some chapters for you guys feedback as I get the the chance to.

12.) My Birthday is coming up on May 30th. Although I don't look it I will be 29 years old. Hard to believe myself that I am only a year away from 30. But hey I look forward to it. Just another chapter in this book I call my life. Also, speaking of B-days. Shouts out to my best friend's 25th b-day is coming up next week on the 20th. Also, a special birthday shout out to KingsMomma who is also celebrating her 25th on Sunday. She threatened me from afar via twitter to finally post a blog. LoL .

13.) I miss my granny. I know I don't see her since she moved down to ATL and have been a bad grandson and not calling like I should have. But I talked to her on Mother's Day and I look forward to seeing her when I go down there for my cousin's wedding. My grandmother has some of the funniest quotes in the world. For instance. No matter who you're with or how long you've been with or married to that person she will refer to them a certain way. So to my cousin (her oldest granddaughter) your new husband will still always be "The Boy" when it comes to granny. Another great saying of my grandmother's are actually words of wisdom. She would always say. "The one thing I can't stand is a Liar and a Thief, because if you'll steal you'll lie, and if you lie you'll steal." Now I don't know about the latter part of that, because I know liars that don't steal. But the first part is dead on!! To this date I've known thieves that will lie they ass off. So shout out to all the thieves and liar out there. And speaking of, if anyone ever gets their hands on a book called "Purpose through Pain." I doubt if it ever will surface but if on the off chance someone sees it please inform me asap. LOL.

That's it for now lucky 13. Hope everyone has a great weekend and holiday weekend if I don't update the blog by then. Also, I seem to be a little addicted to this twitter thing. So feel free to follow me there twitter.com/crecks. It is probably the easiest way to check in with the latest and greatest of one half of Brothers' Blog. Especially since I've been able to update this so rarely.

--C-Recks--

Reserve the Right

Well we all know that Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Now if you don't then you obviously don't watch TV, listen to the radio, or use the Internet frequently. Because the advertisers sure aren't allowing you to forget even if you wanted to. So basically if you aren't aware then you do not exist. If I had a dollar for every KY or Lovers Lane commercial that I've heard or seen this month I could afford to make it rain at the strip club for more consecutive nights than it rains in Seattle, WA. But I digress. LoL.

Speaking of Valentine's Day and marketing I'm sure this is one most of you have heard of already. However, I first heard of it a couple of years ago. My best friend sent me a picture message with the caption "Only in Chicago." Well I was at first shocked by the picture I saw and thought it was a joke. So I had to do further research to confirm that it couldn't just be a Chicago thing. Upon further investigating online it seems as if this was a yearly tradition that spanned far beyond Chicago. What is it that I'm referring to you ask? Well take a look at the picture below.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Every year (at least recent ones) the hamburger chain White Castle goes high class for Valentine's Day. From 5-9 pm you and your date can enjoy the famous sliders in a romantic setting. Yes that means they cover the tables in plastic table cloths, put a flower on the table and even light a candle. They even provide servers for the evening. But here's the kicker you must make a reservation to enjoy amenities such as these.

WTF??

Alright seriously I like to save a buck just like the next American struggling in these economic times. However, I just need to know what man in their right mind is actually bold enough to make this move? I mean on some real I respect they gangsta to even have the balls to tell their woman "I made reservations at our favorite restaurant," and then pull into White Castle. Talk about being in the Dog House, they may as well serve up divorce papers along with this meal. "Would you like to see the dessert menu, and the number of a good divorce attorney?"

Now in the past I've had some women tell me that I don't seem like the romantic type. Ironically, I'm probably the total opposite of what they thought. I guess I was just never given the opportunity to show it. Either that or never wanted to show them that side for whatever reason. However, my sometimes unappreciative ex could attest to the fact that I am definitely romantic. But in recent years (the last 5...yes sad I know. Don't judge me. LoL) I have been single. Therefore, my Valentine's Day routine has been to take my mom out for dinner. But even if all I had was $1 to may name I wouldn't even take moms to White Castle on Valentine's Day. Come on now.

In their defense, from what I read many of the couples that frequent their local White Castle on Valentine's Day may have originally met at the restaurant. As cute as that may be let's be realistic. Plenty of couples meet in many strange or obscure places. However, some of those places don't need to be revisited on a regular or even yearly basis. Here are a couple of extreme examples. Let's just say a couple happens to meet at a friend's funeral. Does that mean every year they should visit the cemetery and have a picnic on the friends grave site? That's creepy as hell. Or how about this I recently saw a couple on Divorce Court and they met in a strip club. She was a dancer and he was a bouncer. Although they were divorcing, what if they had stayed married? So you mean to tell me when they're 70 years old and gray they should be visiting the strip club as part of a yearly tradition? If I see someone's grandma on the pole on amateur Wednesdays I'm going to jail for disorderly conduct that night. Lmao.

In closing, if any of you guys are last minute and haven't made reservations anywhere, please do yourself a favor and cook dinner or order in. Do not under any circumstances call your local White Castle for reservations. But regardless of what you have planned I hope that everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day. Even if you are single and have no Valentine just do something to show love to yourself. It's just another day you'll survive. Hell I have for 5 years strong. LoL. However, I am happy to report that this year I am actually going on a real date for Valentine's Day. I've made reservations at a downtown restaurant with a nice romantic setting. Maybe I will give details at a later time. But I don't plan on breaking tradition, I will still take my mom out maybe for breakfast or lunch though.

--C-Recks--

The First Should Be Last?!?! Part 2

Date: Summer 2005

Location: Chicago (Westside)

"Here you go sip on that."

"What is it?" I replied as I sniffed the strong scent of something that definitely didn't smell appealing.

"It's called a Hennessy Sno-Cone!"

I'll never forget those words. Let me first back track and give some slight background information before I finish that story. I was never really a drinker. For whatever reason... Well I won't lie I know the reason. It wasn't that I couldn't tolerate alcohol, or didn't like the taste of it, or had a bad experience. However, I was in a relationship from age 16 that turned to marriage and the person I was with didn't drink. Therefore, that meant I didn't drink. Oh wait we would get wild and crazy every now and then and drink a wine cooler or 2. Sad I know. My cousin won't let me live the Bartels and James days down. LoL.

Well that summer of 2005, I found myself 25 years young, separated from my wife (soon to be divorced), and feeling like a man that just got out of jail doing a 10 year bid. Free at last, Free at last, Thank God oh mighty!! Well my brother was in town and didn't hesitate to take advantage of my new found freedom and introduce me to some things I had missed out on while "locked down." He started this process the weeks leading up to this particular day in question. You know a beer here, a shot there, and a mixed drink over there. But nothing excessive as he knew that I was still a lightweight.

Well that summer day in the Chi my brother and his boy E came and scooped me up. In the hatch area of the truck they were driving they had a strategically placed cooler full of beer and some other alcohol. Our destination was going to be the West Side of Chicago. A location called the Circle. Which was nothing but a big park that went in a circle and where people went to stunt hang out, etc. As we arrived I noticed my brother's guy E had 2 girls follow us up there. Now this brought a lot of attention to us. Reason being they were both white girls and 1 of them had the Starbucks behind. LoL. Anyways, as we parked, the drinks started flowing. First some pre-mixed Bacardi Long Island Ice Tea. Then some beer, then more Long Island. It was enough to start feeling lovely. It was a hot summer evening. The park was packed; every where you looked there was a hustle man or woman selling something.

That's when someone walked up selling something. I couldn't tell what it was from my angle. But I saw E go over and purchase something for $5. He then walked back over. And That's where the story begins from up top.

"Here you go sip on that."

"What is it?" I replied as I sniffed the strong scent of something that definitely didn't smell appealing.

"It's called a Hennessy Sno-Cone!"

Yes I said it a Hennessy Sno-Cone (See image below).

+

Don't let the name fool you into thinking it was some fruity concontion with a bit of alcohol in it. No. Hennessy Sno-Cone = Straight Henn poured on top of shaved ice. However, it did resemble the sno-cones that we used to drink as kids. Now I had heard a lot about Hennessy mainly through rap lyrics, but I had never tasted it before. Well I go ahead and wrap my lips around the straw and take a first sip.

Stomach meet Hennessy. Hennessy, Stomach.

I must admit that this was not a very happy meeting at all. Inside my stomach it felt more like a KKK member meeting a Black Panther for the first time. It was summer time but it felt like someone had immediately turned the temperature up to HELL as I began to sweat from the forehead profusely. How is it that the drink is making me hot yet it's on ice? Shaved ice no less. Yeah I couldn't quite fathom the reason for that back then.

So not to look like a punk, especially in front of the ladies and big bro and his boy, I kept sipping this drink (peer preasure is a mutha). I remember getting about half way through the drink and then passing it back off to E. I began feeling a little funny and just a bit dizzy. So I remember having a seat in the truck and passing out at some point. I can't recall how much time passed but the next thing you know, someone made a decision to go to Dave and Busters. Well I wish I would've had a vote in this decision because that was the longest and worst car ride I'd ever had in my life. To me it felt like a 30 minute roller coaster ride (loops and all) that just wouldn't end. My head was spinning out of control like some sort of twister and I'm quite sure I was moaning and groaning the whole ride. My brother later explained he thought I was dying. LoL.

So we finally stop and arrive at the place. I contemplated staying in the car and trying to recover from this horrible feeling. But go figure I remembered about the girls and asked their whereabouts. E says "they followed us, we bout to go in now." So I get out of the car. My brother asks if I'm straight. I figured if I could walk, then I was straight. We walked in the place and I remember them going to shoot basketball. I followed and stood there for a second watching them. Well apparently I was now doing way too much moving around because there was a horrible feeling in my stomach.

I look around and spot the men's room. I rush to it as quickly as I can. I found the closest stall and next thing you know I'm puking my guts out. I remember my brother or E coming in and asking was I alright. I couldn't tell who it was as I had my head damn near inside the bowl of the toilet. After that terrible ordeal of praying to the porcelain God, as I had heard it called so many times before making my very own trip to the alter, I walked out feeling 10xs better. I sat somewhere and ended up falling asleep. Not sure how much time passed but my brother came and found me and woke me up to leave. I said bye to the ladies and climbed back in the truck and fell back asleep on the way home.

As horrible as it felt that first time getting drunk one would think that I would have left alcohol alone. However, that was definitely not the case. I still drink to this day. Although my tolerance is much higher than it was that dreadful summer day, it hasn't stopped me from making more than a few collect calls to Earl. In fact, this past weekend as the Jamie Foxx song goes "I had one too many drinks." And believe it or not, once again, Hennessy was one of the drinks that caused my downfall.

--C-Recks--

Any Given Son Day

November 28, 2008

Dear Son,

It was almost 5 Years ago to the day when your mom and I realized you were indeed on your way. It was November 29th 2003. It was around 1am in the morning. I was up late as always, but I can't recall what I was doing. I believe your mom was sleeping. However, something awoke her. I'm sure it had something to do with you moving around. She said she had to use the bathroom. So I helped her up and as she stood up she said I think I peed on myself. Well she then went to the bathroom to clean up. But she came out and said I don't think this is pee. After making a call to your grandmother and to the doctor she was able to determine that a portion of her water had broken.

So we packed up and drove to the hospital. Your mom did all the hard work I just tried to be supportive and not get on her nerves. But almost 22 hours later at about 10:50pm that night you were born. I remember when your head popped out, the doctor pulled you out, and your eyes were wide open and you looked right at me. In between tears I smiled, as the doctor wrapped you up and handed you to your mom. She quickly called me over to hold you as well.

It was hard to imagine that I had spent almost 9 months talking to you through a barrier of stomach that grew by the day. You used to kick whenever I talked to you. But then and there I was holding and talking to you in the flesh. I had overwhelming feelings of joy, happiness, nervousness and even fear. Yes me the self proclaimed fearless man was scared at that moment. The thought that your life was essentially in my hands had me scared to death. The thoughts of what kind of father I would be to you, and would I be able to do this job forever had me fearful. But I vowed to you even less than hours old that I would do any and everything to take care of you and be there for you.

Well it didn't take too long for me to get the hang of the parenting thing. However, there was trouble on the home front. I can and will explain to you the entire story as you get older and are curious as to what happen. But a long story short your mom and I ended up splitting up and eventually divorcing. I had to make some of the hardest decisions of my life during those rough times, but in the end I feel like I made the best decision when considering you. It was difficult to make such decisions and not want to be selfish. However, I had to take a look at a much bigger picture which went beyond just myself.

You may hear different variations of the story when you get older, but I have no problem being open and honest when you're able to handle it. You weren't old enough to remember your mom and I ever being together. Which in part I find a good thing most times. The way your life is now is how you have always known it to be. So you don't remember some of the back and forth and changes that took place back then. Regardless of what has taken place, just know it had nothing at all to do with you. And in many ways what took place forced me to be the man I needed to be. The man I needed to be for myself and for you.

When I think of you being five years old it is still hard to imagine. Time flies is all that I can say. I mean I can truly recall it all like it was yesterday. From your first words (which were da da don't let anyone tell you different), to your first steps, your first fall (I dropped you), and recently your first dentist trip (I took you, poor thing you shook like a leaf you were so scared). I've made sure that I have been there every step of the way. Not only financially, but also physically and emotionally there as an active father in your life. Besides a hand full of weekends out of town and when for whatever reason your mom had something else planned, I don't/didn't miss a weekend spending quality time with you. The same goes for calling and talking to you on a nightly basis.

Over these five years I've watched us begin a bond as father and son that is undeniable. I wouldn't give it up for anything or anyone in the world. It reminds me of how I was with my father when I was a kid. Unfortunately, that relationship slowly whithered away over the years due to some circumstances that I will reveal to you later as well. But I vow to you that I won't let anything get in between us remaining close and me being a constant in your life. In the next 5-10 years I'm sure you'll be experiencing many more firsts. Including, your first day of school (real school), first crush (Kim Possible doesn't count), first heart break (sad to say but it's going to come), first fight, etc. Just know that you will have me there for you and there to help guide you through each of those events and more.

I love you so much and I am so very proud of you. And even prouder to call myself your Dad. I wish you the happiest 5th birthday ever and so many more to come.

Love,

Your Dad.


--C-Recks--

I Beg Your Pardon

We have all seen them at some point. Some people fear them, while others detest them and wish they'd go away. Some people even laugh at them, but many more feel sorry for them. It doesn't matter if it's day time or night. They walk amongst us every day. Nor does it matter if it's downtown, in the city, in the ghettos, or the suburbs. They are every where. Although they are not extraordinarily abundant in numbers, you can't seem to avoid them. Whether you're walking down the street, coming out of the store, or even driving in your car. The "signs" of their presence is apparent. Regardless of how you feel about them they're not going anywhere.


By now you're probably all curious as to who or what I am talking about. Well if you haven't yet figured it out this blog is dedicated to the Homeless. Also known as bums, panhandlers, and hobos.

The homeless are the poorest of the poor. So poor that in some instances, they have no choice but to live outdoors even in cold climates. So poor that they're only income and or meals usually come from begging. It is very sad when a person becomes homeless and has no roof over their head or food to eat. I am actually one of the individuals that at times feels sorry for these individuals especially when they are children or disabled. We can debate all day about the homeless and the role the government should play in helping to assist them. But that's not what I'm focusing on. In this blog I want to discuss the panhandling tactics of some homeless individuals.


Although I do empathize with the homeless, I guess the skeptic in me won't always allow me to give to the homeless panhandlers. I guess bottom line I don't always trust my hard earned change is going to food or shelter or whatever they've told me they need the money for. In fact, I have the perfect example. One cold winter night I was in the hood and I had a taste for White Castle's chicken rings. So, I stopped at the drive through. As I'm placing my order a homeless man comes up to the car and said "If you have any change after you pay can you help me out with getting something to eat?" Now again, anyone that knows me knows I'm a big skeptic (Ask my cousin about Cris Angel. LoL). However, since he mentioned food and it was cold out I felt I should help him out. So, I went ahead and ordered my chicken rings, an order of fries, and a White Castle's Burger aka a slider. So, I proceed to window 2 and pay and receive my food. As I get ready to pull off the man is waiting right there after the window 2. As I drive past I reach in my bag, roll down my window, and hand the man the burger.


Now I can't calculate how much change I would have had without buying that burger but it's safe to say that a $0.59 cent white castle burger was about equivalent, and possibly a little more. Well as I hand this man the burger I have the slight feeling that I've done something good. Not really to better the world but at least in this man's life for right now. But that feeling quickly turned to anger when I noticed the look on the man's face as I handed him the burger. The look on his face was almost in disgust that I gave him food as opposed to money. He just looked at me and didn't even say thank you. I was comptemplating going snatching my burger back. But I was so pissed that I said "yeah you're welcome" and just rolled up my window and quickly sped off.


I don't know about any of you, but the 2 things I hate wasting the most are time and money. I was upset that I wasted my money on this homeless man. Some may be thinking it's only $0.59 cents what's the big deal? Well the change I spent won't make or break me but it's really a matter of principal. That change could have gone into my son's piggy bank like the rest of my change usually does. But no I wasted it on a burger for someone that didn't even appreciate my effort. I hate to sound cliche but "beggars can't be choosers!!" No pun intended of course.


But that's just one experience, but I can't lie it definitely didn't make it any easier for another homeless person to get my spare change out of me. Likewise, I saw a segment on an episode of Manswers on Spike TV that had to do with professional begging. In that segment I saw some statistics that made me damn near blow a gasket. It stated that some professional beggars can earn up to $49 an hour, $300 a day, and even $78,000 a year. I was floored to think that as hard as I work it would take me almost twice as long to earn what some of the top professional beggars do. After hearing this story I was done with helping panhandlers. That 50 cents can stay in my own pocket as opposed to helping someone live better than me for free. Watch the video below.

However, there are some homeless individuals that I would consider giving to. For instance, here in Chicago a lot of the homeless will sell a newspaper called The Defender. This is a homeless publication and I believe the proceeds go to help the homeless. Now I don't have a problem giving these guys a buck from time to time. At least they're working for their money, and at least I get a newspaper for my dollar. Also, the homeless that will clean your window I sometimes don't mind giving money. Again they're working for their money. If my window is dirty and they're willing to clean it for some change then it's a fair enough deal. But I will admit that I do hate when they just come up to your car without asking and clean the windshield then expect some money. No one gave you permission to clean my window man. Maybe I wanted that bird crap stain to stay there for a while.

The bottom line is that if they're trying to get money out of me they have to do much more than just hold out a cup or tell me a sob story. In addition, just holding up a sign saying something like "Homeless please help. God Bless" isn't good enough for me either. Perhaps some of you would/will give based on these things and God Bless you for that. However, I'm talking about me here. You want this change you better come with it. LoL. I mean if you're at the strip club and a girl just stands there in front of you and doesn't even take off her clothes or dance is that enough to make you want to make it rain? Well maybe some of ya'll but not me LoL. I worked hard for this money so you're going to have to convince me that it's worth my dollar is all I'm saying. It's no different than any other transaction. Again, no pun intended but maybe they need to try to think "out of the box." LoL. But, I took the time to find a bunch of panhandling signs that are all very unique. I've commented below on them and explained how much I would give and why.

This is a very creative sign. Very colorful and attention getting. The caption is actually funny. I love how they wrote out vibrator as if the letters themselves are vibrating. I'm not too sure if I empathize with the guy though. And I'm not down with contributing to someone else's inner freak especially if I don't benefit. LoL. Maybe he should have included a picture of his wife. If she's ugly then I can understand him wanting to get her a new vibrator asap. LoL. But just based on the comedy factor I'd give him 50 cents. $1-$2 if he could produce a picture of an ugly wife. LoL.

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a gambling man. So I wouldn't be able to resist taking this guy up on his bet. I'd bet about $1. He doesn't look that fast and his knee looks to be injured so I would even be willing to give him 2:1 odds on this bet. But I believe in paying up on bets so if I lose I would definitely pay up and even let him keep the quarter. I'm sure it's probably a scam though. I would get ready to throw the quarter and his ass would be dodging quarters like The Matrix. LoL. But if I did win I couldn't see taking his money. But I would let him keep the winning quarter for being a good sport.

Man this guy has my attention already. I feel him 100%. I have been there before. When my divorce finalized I had to give up the house I had bought, fixed up and lived in for almost 5 years to my ex-wife. I was essentially homeless. Thank God my grandmother let me crash on her couch for a few weeks until I found me a new place to live. But when I think back I also thank God I had a job because if I had neither I would have been homeless for real. So to this guy I'd give him at least $5 just because I feel his pain. As the song says sometimes it's "cheaper to keep her." LoL.

This is another comical sign. We all know the story behind New York Governor Elliot Spitzer and his prostitution bust. I'm assuming this guy is in New York. So if I was in New York and saw this guy and his sign I'd give him at least $0.60 just for the laugh. I would give more but I'm not trying to contribute to his prostitution addiction especially not at that astronomical price. If I had a condom in my wallet I would throw that in the plate as well. He will need it if he ever reaches his goal.

First off is it just me or does this guy bare an eerie resemblance to the late great Issac Hayes? Well as for his sign. Depending on how my day has been going I may have to take him up on his offer and tell him off for $2. So for $2 I'd go ahead and get my vent on. First off are you hot or cold? I mean you have a leather coat with the fur on the collar but yet you have no shirt on under it and the coat is unzipped. So make up your damn mind!! Put on a shirt and cover up that taco meat on your chest. Next, get a job stop begging and work for your money!! Lastly, wake yo ass up!! LoL. I mean what have you done to make you so damn tired? It's not like you just worked a 9-5 so you have no reason to be sleep in the middle of the day. And put on some socks man!! Okay I feel better now. That was actually worth my $2. Thanks.

Well if you've ever read any of my blogs and their titles then you know that I like to use the play on words. So this sign is right up my alley. First off the guy is a big guy so he definitely looks as if he can get his eat on. So, just off the funny factor of the sign I would be willing to give him about a buck for a burger or something. He definitely doesn't look to have missed too many meals so his sign must be working. Also, is it me or is he dressed like he works at a Target? I don't know he could be suspect. Maybe he's just on his lunch break and forgot his lunch or something. I would have to pull the sign back if I see a name tag he gets nothing from me. I'm not giving anything to someone that is gainfully employed.

Okay I'm going to walk lightly on this one because I know the secret service may be reading. All I must say is that this man has some balls. So I admire his boldness. However, he was smart enough to make sure his face was blurred out of this pic. But to even whisper those words like the Ying Yang Twins can get your ass locked up if the wrong person hears you. I'm not even going to type them. The picture is clearly not of a black man so to the C.I.A. it's not me. I don't know the date of this picture but if it was recent he wouldn't get anything from me Bush will be out soon anyway. But just for saying what I'm sure a lot of Americans want to say. I'm not saying me personally for Big Brother that's watching. But to this guy I'd give him about $3 buck for his boldness alone.

Now this is another bold move. However, if I was driving along this road I'd have to thank this guy. Apparently the Sheriff's Department are doing some sort of traffic sting and this guy is giving motorist a fair warning to be prepared. So now you can slow down, buckle up, and toss any illegal drugs or guns in the stash spot. If you were ticketed for speeding or no seat belt you're looking at a ticket of at least $25 or more. And if you're riding dirty well you already know that's going to cost you your freedom. Therefore, just on potentially saving me money I'd give this guy $5. And his friend at least a dollar I'm feeling the shirt (see blog entitled 9-1-1 Is a Joke). LoL .

I don't know if this was a shameless plug or what. But I tried to put in this website address and got nothing. So maybe he was just trying to be creative. However, I'm not trying to be funny but he should have put http://www.spareteeth.com/. I see him needing that more than the change. Maybe the tooth fairy will fly past and drop something off in ya boys' cup. LoL. But he seems to be in good spirits about his situation so I would help him out with a dollar.

Okay finally!! This is what I been waiting for. Finally a panhandler that's keeping it real. No sob story here about being down on his luck or nothing to eat. He's putting it out there that he's trying to get money for not just beer, but also pot, and a hooker. Well if I came out of the liquor store from buying a case of beer and saw this sign I'd help him out. One ice cold beer from my case. About $0.75 value. Just a token of my appreciation for this man not wasting my time with a bullshit story in order to get my spare change. Enjoy the ice cold refreshing beer my friend. You'll have to get someone else to help you out with the hookers and weed.

Okay this guy is really going to the extremes to get his panhandle on. I have 2 problems with this guy's tactics. First, this guy is out of order for portraying himself as Jesus.
The robe and collection plate are way too much. Secondly, this sign is way too extreme. It's bad enough I have to worry about eternal damnation when I'm in church and pass the collection plate without contributing. But now I got this guy out on the street trying to condemn me to hell fire if I don't give to him. This guy wouldn't get a dime from me. If you read my blog (E-Mail and Text Forwards) I don't respond to scare tactics especially dealing with Hell. LoL. Also, being a black man white Jesus doesn't scare me much anyways. So, if his collection plate passed my way I'd most likely drop some chicken bones in it like Arsenio Hall on Coming To America. LoL.





So you mean to tell me someone kidnapped your wife and demanded a large ransom or they would harm your wife? Then you scraped and collected all this money to give for the ransom and when you counted it you were exactly $0.98 cents short? Man get the hell outta here. LoL. Even if that was the case if you're going to hold a sign that says your wife was kidnapped then you may as well have gone to the police. Then they would be handling the kidnapping and negotiations so you wouldn't have to be out begging for $0.98 cents. Although I give him props for attempting to be creative, he didn't think his story out well enough for him to get any money out of me. If his wife was really kidnapped I may let him use my phone to call 9-1-1 that's about it.






Hey doesn't this guy look familiar? And wait doesn't the sign look familiar too? I think it's our friend with the kidnapped wife. It's obviously a different day as he's changed clothes. Hey look even his sign has changed. He now needs $0.99 as opposed to the $0.98 cents he needed on the sign before. So did he somehow lose a penny during his attempt to scrape up the ransom money? Oh I get it, the kidnappers called and decided that the ransom wasn't high enough and decided to up it by a whole penny right? Man get this sign out of my face! I didn't fall for it the first time and now that I see you again with the same sign you're definitely not getting even that penny from me.





This sign is a nice attempt of this guy to be clever. However, the one thing he's not thinking about is that on every alcoholic beverage there is a disclaimer from the Government. "(1)According to The Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems." So in other words if you drink you will get drunk and your liver will look like a raisin in the sun if you drink too much. So the Government has done all the research necessary on alcohol and they don't need your help. Nice try though. You get an E for effort, but no money from me.

Now this sign is funny for a couple of reasons. First, I'm picturing big man here in a tight karate
outfit trying to learn kung-fu. Next, I'm trying to imagine a bunch of ninjas coming to the hood to kill this guys' family. I've been to enough hoods to know that even trained ninjas won't go there. So, if a group of individuals wearing all black killed his family I guarantee they weren't ninjas. Now if you subtract the nj from ninjas and add gg in it's place then the sign would be much more believable to me. I know I'm joking about someone's family being killed but I'm following his lead he's the one with smiley faces on the sign. I got a good laugh on this one $0.60 cents from me.

Another keeping it real sign. "Why lie I need a beer." Truer words could not have been spoken. I have to feel him on this one. Who doesn't need a beer from time to time? Again, if I had a beer on me I would definitely be willing to share with this man. Plus it looks hot out so I'm sure the cold beer would cool him off.

Again this guy is keeping it real. However, beer is one thing. I'm not going to support someone's drug habit. I know you're probably like you'll help destroy someone's liver but not their brain from drugs. Well yes it's a double standard but I have that right to choose where my money goes. I'm not forcing the beer down the man's throat. LoL. But back to this sign. I like the fact he is admitting he's not even homeless. If I were homeless and saw his sign I'd come over there and kick his ass. He's taking away from me being able to eat when he just wants to get high.

So the moral to this story a panhandler must be clever and creative to maximize their opportunity for getting money, especially from me. But hell, if a top notch professional beggar can make $78,000 a year then I'm definitely in the wrong profession. I am actually in the process of looking for a new job. So, Don't be surprised if you're walking downtown one day and you see me holding a "Will Rap For Food" sign. I'll have a portable CD player playing my debut CD "Ripped from the Headlines" and have copies of the album for sale (album coming soon, shameless plug I know). But at least I'll be selling you something and not just begging. But for real if you see your boy out there show me a little bit of support. Even if you don't buy a cd I'll spit a hot 16 for you for your spare change. LoL.

--C-Recks--

(Crank Dat Homeless Man)

Keep It On the DownLoad

As we all know the Internet is also known as the "Information Super Highway." When I was first introduced to the Internet back in the 90's I had no clue that the Internet would become what it has become. The Information Super Highway has surpassed the German Autobahn. In other words, there are absolutely no limits as to where you can go on the Internet nor how fast you can get there. I mean whatever your heart desires you can find it on-line. That's right anything from a piece of food resembling Jesus or the Virgin Mary
http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=23 to a wig for your cat http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html. Yes I said a damn cat wig!! Click the link if you don't believe me. Lol.

But one thing that is probably the easiest thing to find on the Internet is pornography. According to statistics adult websites generate over $1 Billion in revenue yearly. There are more than 72,000 sexually explicit websites on the Internet and new sites are being added at a rapid rate of 266 per day. 25% of total search engine requests are porn-related. (Top three searches: sex, mp3 and hotmail). 8% of total emails are porn-related. The average daily pornographic emails are 4.5 per Internet user and 12% of total websites are pornographic. So again, as you can see whatever you want no matter how sick or distasteful you can find it on the Internet.

In fact, I recently came across a statistic that stated one-third of divorce litigation is actually sparked by online affairs. So, my question of the day is this. Is an online/Internet affair still considered cheating? Some people would say absolutely yes, some others would say no, and plenty remain on the fence. I'm just going to explore some aspects of each area and the good people out there can be the judge for themselves. There will be plenty of questions posed and you can answer them to yourselves as you read along.

Let us start by first defining a few terms. First term is adultery. http://www.dictionary.com/ defines adultery as: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Next, they define the word cheat as: Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife. Next, is the word infidelity is defined as 1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression. Finally, let's look at the word unfaithful, which is defined as: not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover.

Alright we now know how the dictionary defines the words adultery, cheating, infidelity, and unfaithful. As for the word adultery, the definition strictly addresses the sexual intercourse aspect. So, as we know "cyber-sex" definitely does not involve any physical contact so I would say it doesn't fit into the text book definition of adultery. In fact, when you break it down into it's simplest form, cyber-sex is nothing more than typing. That's right 2 people typing to each other. Now true enough the subject matter is what places cyber-sex into that grey area. But comparing the definition of adultery and the act of having cyber-sex do not equal the same thing by a long shot.

Now please keep in mind I am not in any way stating that it is right for an individual male or female to participate in cyber-sex if they are in a marriage or committed relationship. I'm simply stating that based off the definition I don't think it is adultery. But I'm sure some individuals are thinking yes it is, I don't care what you say or what the hell Webster (Dictionary) or Mr. Papadopoulos say. Lol. So, for those of you with that position let's explore a few examples and see if you consider them adultery as well.

Example 1: Say for instance there is a husband that frequents a local strip club from time to time. Let's Say he goes once every 2 weeks on his pay day. He stops in after work with some co-workers, has some drinks, watches the ladies, tips, and pays for a couple of private dances. He does nothing more than this. So would you consider his actions adultery?

Example 2: There is a husband that tends to watch pornography. It is not an excessive amount but he does buy and rent movies on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't necessarily hide them from his wife but they are of course not in plain view along with the regular dvds. So is him watching pornographic movies adultery? But let's take it a step further what if instead of movies he views the pornography on the Internet? Last question what if he was viewing someone (a stranger) on a web cam would that too fall into the same category of adultery? Are all of these actions one in the same or is perhaps one worse than the rest?

Example 3: An attractive wife tends to be flirtatious by nature. She doesn't try to be but she just comes off flirty in most conversations with men. Not to mention her looks obviously attract a lot of attention when she's out in public, especially from men. So, say for instance while at the grocery store she flirts with one of the stock boys. And let's say that the package they discussed in the conversation wasn't one of the boxes he was unloading. However, their conversation never go beyond the flirting and her time in the store. Is she committing Adultery?

I don't know what your individual answers to the above examples are but personally my answer is no to each of them. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel that these spouses aren't dabbling in behavior that is suspicious at best, and definitely disrespectful, if their spouses are unaware of what they are doing. Also, in each case there is potential that their actions can eventually lead to adultery taking place. But just the actions themselves I do not consider aldutery, cheating, or being unfaithful, based on our definitions. However, if you recall two of the definitions of infidelity were (1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression). So by definition I can definitely agree that these are all acts of infidelity because they are showing a level of disrespect to their spouses as well as proving themselves untrustworthy.

So how far is too far when it comes to "Internet Infidelity?" Is simply chatting in a regular chat room too much if you're married or in a committed relationship? Many would argue that if you're in a marriage then you have no reason even be in a chat room to begin with. You should be chatting with your spouse right? Well I play poker online and many of the poker websites have a chat feature. There have been times when females have attempted to chat with me. Usually starting with something like "ASL?" For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym it simply stands for Age, Sex, Location. Basically the other person is asking for your details starting with those 3. So, how far is too far? What about exchanging photo's with the person that you're chatting with? Or chatting while using a web cam? Now Keep in mind that the person on the other end is a total stranger that is probably located in some far away place. Many would say that as long as it's not chatting with someone they know personally that it's alright. For instance, if they were constantly chatting with say a co-worker is much worse than with a total stranger. The reason mainly being that if they know the person there is much more potential for harmless chatting to turn into something more. So what about chatting sexually (having cyber-sex) with that person too far? What if it's simply a cyber-sex thing and you never share anything more? Or contrast that with just chatting in general (no cyber-sex), but in those chats you share bits of your personal life, problems (possibly with your spouse), and emotions with that person? Which is worse? I'm sure anyone that has been cheated on before (I being one of them) would agree that physically being cheated on is bad enough, but when the cheater then develops an emotional attachment it's far worse.

So going further let's try this one. By now everyone and their momma at least has either a myspace, facebook, or blackplanet page. But should married individuals have them? Is that crossing the line? Some would say no it's fine just as long as your relationship status reflects that you're indeed married. Or some would say that as long as they are only using the networking site to stay in touch with current friends and re-connect with past ones there is nothing wrong with that. But my question is this, who really wants guys or girls across the world writing on their husband or wife's wall/message board saying how attractive they are? Or sending them notes or messages trying to holler at them all day long? Not trying to sound like the jealous type but I know if I was married I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Plus wouldn't having access to millions of potential "friends" be sort of a temptation? Or try this what if you met your significant other online would it be wrong for you to want them to terminate their myspace (or any other social networking) account? That's no different than a couple that met in say the club and all of a sudden one spouse says I don't want you to go to the club anymore. Is that not a contradiction?

I think the fact of the matter is that each individual couple has to establish how far is too far? I personally think when the individual is attempting to be sneaky and inconspicuous with it then that's a red flag that the chatting may be something more. I mean if it's all innocent and means nothing then what's there to hide. There should be no need for any of the following behavior if it's simply innocent chatting. For instance, if your spouse walks in the room the screen shouldn't have to be minimized nor should you be turning off the entire computer. Also, constantly chatting while your spouse is sleeping or at work, and having all of your accounts and computers password protected. Lastly, deleting the cookies on your computer after each use. All of these activities are definitely the work of someone that is trying to hide something and it can't be anything innocent.

So in conclusion, if your significant other is spending more time online than they spend with you then there could definitely be an Internet affair going on. More than anything, I think any affair whether Internet based or actually in person points to a much deeper problem. Something is lacking or not being fulfilled within the marriage or relationship. If a person will take the time to form a bond whether sexually based or emotionally based on the Internet when they have a spouse physically there living in the same home as them, then again there's something lacking. Unfortunately, if you are in this position I can't tell you what it is you'll have to do some soul searching yourself to discover the answer. But take it from someone that's been cheated on before (don't worry it was not Internet based) it's not a good feeling at all. But unfortunately, in today's times you not only have to watch out for the other man/woman on the street trying to steal your spouse. Now, you have to worry about the potential of anyone on the entire World Wide Web becoming a "cyber-mistress." Which is indeed a Sad Reality.

--C-Recks--