Got M.I.L.F.??

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday. In this weekly segment we will be highlighting women that we feel fit into the category of M.I.L.F. Again, if you're not familiar with the term M.I.L.F. keep in mind it is an acronym for (Mother I'd Like To F____). Feel free to fill in your own F-word there. But my personal criteria for a woman to qualify as a M.I.L.F. would be that she would have to be an attractive lady over the age of 35 with at least 1 child. So here's this week's lineup...

Thandie Newton - Age 37

If you ask my brother his dream girl would be a beautiful black woman with a British accent. Don't ask me why ask him. lol. Well I know for sure that Thandie Newton fits into this category. Born and raised in London, Newton began acting in the early 90's but had no note worthy roles. It wasn't until a role the 1994 movie "Interview with the Vampire" that she came on the radar. She later on went to play roles in movies like "Jefferson in Paris," and "Gridlock'd." And no man can forget her role in "Beloved," the movie adaptation of Toni Morrison's book. In that movie she appears naked and pregnant in one particular scene. Other movie roles included: "Mission Impossible II," "The Truth About Charlie," "Crash," "Pursuit of Happyness," "Norbit," "Run Fatboy Run," and most recently in "W" as Condoleeza Rice. Also she played in about 13 episodes of the TV show E.R. At age 37 Thandie has 2 daughters ages 8 and 4 and you probably would never even be able to tell she's had children.

Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas - Age 37

In 1992 when the group TLC jumped on the music scene with their single "Aint Too Proud to Beg," the group became instant sex symbols. Also wearing the colorful condoms everywhere was a big help with that as well. But even though the group wore baggy clothes which were the trend back then they were still sexy. Well when their 2nd album CrazySexyCool dropped they let go of the baggy clothes and wore more feminine attire. It was at that time where I chose my favorite of the 3 which was Chilli. The group went on to record 2 more albums and sell millions more. Unfortunately tragedy struck when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002. Chilli is still working on her solo career. She's also acted in movies such as "House Party 3," "Hav Plenty," and "Snow Day." Her acting resume also includes shows such as: "That 70's Show," "The Parkers," and "Strong Medicine." Of course we all know Chilli was romantically involved with Usher until he released his "Confessions" album in 2004. Believe it or not Chilli has an 11 year old son with producer Dallas Austin.

Sharon Leal - Age 37

Ironically today October 17th is Sharon Leal's 37th B-day. Well happy birthday Sharon as a gift allow me to induct you onto our M.I.L.F. List. Sharon began acting on the soap opera "The Guiding Light." She then moved on to act in the TV shows "Legacy," "Boston Public," "Las Vegas," "LAX," and "CSI: Miami." Leal has also appeared in movies such as "Dream Girls," "Why did I get Married," and "This Christmas." She will also be in the last Bernie Mac Movie "Soul Men" that is due out soon. Leal has worked both in front of and behind the camera directing episodes of such shows as; "Sister Sister," "The Game," "One on One," "Half and Half," "Girlfriends," and "The Parenthood." Leal has a 4 year old daughter.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.?

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday or M.I.L.F.F. If you missed last week's opener feel free to take a look back Here. Basically this weekly segment will list in no particular order women we feel fall into the M.I.L.F. category. Again M.I.L.F. stands for Mother I'd Like to F ____ (fill in your own F word here). My personal rule for determining who classifies as a M.I.L.F. would be a good looking woman that is at least 35 years of age and has at least 1 child.

Vanessa L. Williams - Age 45

Vanessa Williams is still probably most remembered for being the first African American Miss America in 1984. Unfortunately due to some controversial naked photos that appeared in Penthouse, she was pressured to resign from her duties as Miss America. She later went on to have a successful music career as an R&B singer. She didn't pop up on my radar until she released the 1991 single "Save the Best for Last." Williams also had many roles in Hollywood. One of her early movie roles I remember was "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man." She later went on to star in movies like "The Jacksons: An American Dream," "Hoodlum," and 1997's "Soul Food," which was probably her most memorable role to date. Other movie roles included "Light it Up" and "Johnson Family Vacation." Also, she's had roles on TV shows such as "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "Star Trek," "Between Brothers," "Ally McBeal," "South Beach," and most recently "Ugly Betty." At 45 Vanessa Williams has 4 kids (ages 21, 19, 15, and 8). Although she has admitted to using Botox she still looks damn good after 4 kids.

Nia Long - Age 37

Nia Long's real name is actually Nitara Carlynn "Nia" Long. Nia is her stage name. Another fun fact is that Nia Long's half Sister is Sommore of the Queens of Comedy. Long's first acting appearance was in an episode of "227." Her next role in the 1991 movie "Boyz N The Hood" would turn out to be her break out role. This was when I was first introduced to her and have been a fan ever since then. She went on to land roles in movies such as "Made in America," "Friday," "Love Jones," "Hav Plenty," and "Soul Food" with the aforementioned Vanessa Williams. Also, she appeared in "In Too Deep," "The Best Man," "Stigmata," "Boiler Room," "Big Momma's House 1 & 2," "Are we there/done yet?" and "Premonition." Not to mention Long has played in TV shows such as "Living Single," "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "ER," "Moesha," "Judging Amy," "Third Watch," "Boston Legal," and "Big Shots." Nia Long has an 8 year old son and still looks amazing.

Regina King - Age 37

Regina King had her first acting role playing the daughter Brenda on the TV show "227" from 1985-1990. Then in 1991 she played a role in the movie "Boyz N The Hood" and followed it up with her performance in "Poetic Justice." On a side note I still want to know how Chicago (Joe Torrey's Character) got that damn brush back. LoL. Well Regina King went on to take on supporting roles in many top rated movies. Her discography also includes: "Higher Learning," "Friday," "A Thin Line Between Love and Hate," "Jerry Maguire," "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," "Enemy of the State," "Mighty Joe Young," "Down to Earth," "Daddy Daycare," "Legally Blonde 2," "Miss Congeniality 2," and "This Christmas." Also, she played roles on TV shows like "Ny Undercover," "Living Single," and "24." Most recently she's played the voices of Huey and Riley on the popular adult cartoon "The Boondocks." At 37 Regina king is the mother of an 11 year old boy.

To Be Continued...

Got M.I.L.F.?

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If I Could Be Like Spike............

With the recent release of "Miracle at St. Anna", I want to discuss a topic that many people sleep on. Spike Lee is one of the most overrated people in Hollywood. (Yeah I said it). I too grew up looking at Spike Lee as a pioneer for black people in Hollywood. I can't take that status away from him, however, I would like to make the case that the vast majority of his success is based on movies that he produced/directed twenty years ago. And for that, I can't give him credit. To me it would be akin to saying that Ronald Isley is a great singer for the work that he did with R. Kelly. Sorry, being Mr. Big is not the reason we love the Isley Brothers!

My first introduction to Spike Lee was in 1989 when he released Do the Right Thing. I was only 11, but I thought it was an incredible movie. (Thank God for the left nipple! Lol). After seeing that movie, I remember hearing about "She's Gotta Have It", and "School Daze". To this date, I have not seen either of them in their entirety, but the parts that I have seen of them have been entertaining at least. In my life, Spike Lee became, probably, the first Hollywood person that I began to eagerly anticipate the next movies.

Do the Right Thing was followed by Mo Better Blues and Jungle Fever. I've never seen all of Mo Better Blues, but I did enjoy Jungle Fever. Spike Lee followed up Jungle Fever with what I believe to be one of his best movies. Malcolm X was released in November of 1992. The thing I remember about the most about the movie had nothing to do with what I actually saw on the screen. What I remember most was the fact that Spike had the hood blown up with X gear. (And no, not all of it was officially licensed merchandise. As a matter of fact, I'd say that the majority of it was unlicensed merchandise). X hats, X medallions, and of course the X t-shirts were very prevelant. I spent the summer of 1992 in Chicago visiting my grandparents, and hustle man made a killing that summer.

So to quickly recap, between 1986, and 1992, Spike had a string of either financially successful or critically successful hit. Well lets just say that as of 1992, he began to rest on his laurels.

His next film was Crooklyn. Crooklyn is a story told from the perspective of a little girl growing up in Brooklyn, New York. I saw this movie in my mass media class senior year in high school. I was excited to see this movie. Up until that point all that I really knew about the movie is that it had a decent soundtrack. (Headlined by the single "Crooklyn" performed by the Crooklyn Dodgers (Masta Ace, Buckshot, and Special Ed). Well I was terribly disappointed. To me, the movie was crap. I tried to see where Spike was going with this one, but I just couldn't relate. To this day, I don't quite understand what the message was. Which was a stark contrast to the fact that Spike's earlier movies dealt with larger social issues. Strike one at that point.

Stike two for Spike was an absolute abomination. Drop Squad was released in 1994. Now, the difference with this movie is that it was directed by Spike. However he did produce it. And my god was it awful. Drop Squad dealt with a successful black man who in the opinion of his family had "sold out". The Drop Squad was a group of individuals who kidnapped him, and was given the task of helping him to rediscover his black roots. The premise of the movie was half-way decent. And to a degree, Spike had gotten back to dealing with social issues. But the application went horribly wrong. This movie was painful to watch. I guess at that point, I hoped that this was the worse that Spike had to offer, as you will read later, I was sooooo wrong.

In 1995, Spike also produced New Jersey Drive and Tales from the Hood. Both movies were alright at best. Once again though, these movies spawned very good soundtracks. (Especially New Jersey Drive).
Later in 1995, Spike directed Clockers. What I recall of this movie is that it dealt with drug dealing. Once again it had a decent soundtrack, no major hits though. The most memorable aspect of this movie is that it, more or less, introduced the world to Mekhi Phifer. Other than that, the movie was very forgettable. I should have begun to see a pattern from Mr. Lee, but I continued to give him the benefit of the doubt.

1996 brought us Girl 6. A movie that really brought nothing to the table for me. Later in 1996, he directed Get On the Bus, a movie that followed a group of black men headed to the million man march in Washington D.C. I did not see this movie due to the fact that by this time I was pretty much skeptical of most everything Spike did. He directed 4 little girls in 1997. I watched this movie for some class that I was taking in college. As a documentary, the movie wasn't bad. But as I see it, I can't really give him a whole lot of credit for simply recounting the facts of history to us. (Sorry Spike).

In 1998, Spike teamed up with Denzel Washington for a third time to bring us He Got Game. This movie was crap to the second power. If it weren't for Drop Squad, I would say that this movie was his worse up until that point. Spike produced the Best Man in 1999. A decent movie. And I would love to say that he had gotten his groove back at that point. But also in 1999, he directed Summer of Sam. This movie dealt with the feelings of people throughout his beloved New York during the murder spree of the Son of Sam killer. Horrible movie. Almost worse than He Got Game. In 2000 he directed the movie The Original Kings of Comedy starring Bernie Mac, Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer, and D.L. Hughley. I once again would love to give Spike the credit for this one, but the comedians did all the work. And its not like Spike discovered their talents. These were very successful and established Comedians at the time. So no props to Spike.

Then came Bamboozled later that year. If I ever post a worst ever list of movies, Bamboozled will definitely be in the top 5. (Somewhere behind The Pledge and The Bad Lieutenant). Bamboozled is about a tv show creator who creates what he believes is the worse show known to man. To his surprise, the show is a hit. Bamboozled once again deals with the issue of "selling out". I heard that this movie is a slap at BET. While I echo Spike's sentiments that BET has done more to degrade black people than to enhance us as a people, Bamboozled was crap. All that I could say about Spike at this point was that I was done. No longer would I give him a chance. I had invested too much time and money into his visions. And no longer were his visions anything that I could conceptualize in my mind and heart.

Spike has done a lot more work since then. Of course, most of it very forgettable. I saw another documentary that he did regarding Hurricane Katrina, and I have to admit that I found it to be entertaining. Unfortunately I thought that the movie was very slanted to the view that the federal government screwed up, and while they did, I as a documentarian would have also addressed how state and local officials screwed up. And to a larger degree, how the residents of New Orleans did do much to protect themselves. (But that's a topic for a later blog).

Now in this world, what speaks more than words is money. So I want to show how much Spike's movies have made at the box office. (To the right is the movie's cost to make).

Do The Right Thing $27,545,445 (6.5 million dollars)
Mo' Better Blues $16,153,593 (10 million dollars)
Jungle Fever $32,482,682 (14 million dollars)
Malcolm X $48,169,910 (34 million dollars)
Crooklyn $13,642,861 (14 million dollars)
Drop Squad $734,693 (2 million dollars)
Tales From the Hood $11,837,928 (6 million dollars)
New Jersey Drive $3,565,508 (5 million dollars)
Clockers $13,071,518 (25 million dollars)
Girl 6 $4,939,939 (12 million dollars)
Get on the Bus $5,754,249 (2.4 million dollars)
4 Little Girls $130,146
He Got Game $21,567,853 (25 million dollars)
Summer of Sam $19,288,130 (22 million dollars)
Original Kings of Comedy $28,182,790 (3 million dollars)
Bamboozled $2,274,979 (10 million dollars)

Of the sixteen movies I listed, only seven of the movies recouped the money spent to make them.

Which brings us to 2008. I first saw a preview for Miracle at St. Anna while at a car wash in Phoenix. Movie looks great. It deals with history, something I love. Seems like an adventure of sorts, I was hooked. And then I found out that it is directed by Spike Lee. Damn! As much as I want to give it a chance, I just can't find it within myself to be fooled by him again. I respect Spike's contribution to the advancement of blacks in Hollywood. He's paved the way for people like John Singleton, the Hughes Brothers, and Tyler Perry. My entire argument is that Spike is riding off the success of the past. And unfortunately in Spike's past, for every Do the right thing, there's been several Drop Squads. And for that, I refuse to be Bamboozled again!

Only In The Hood

Although I live in the suburbs I was born and raised in the "hood" for a good portion of my life. I have friends and family that still live in the "hood." So, at times I find myself driving through the hood. Well if you've ever been in the hood or through the hood then you know that there are some very unique things that you will observe and won't see anywhere else. So, I've taken the time to compile a list of things you will see "Only In the Hood." This may be an on going segment so please look for more to come. But I'll be your ghetto tour guide so sit back and relax as we explore the hood. By the way, if any of you have never been to the hood you may want to pay close attention. If you happen to be driving and you notice any of the things listed below that means you're in the hood and you may want to turn your ass around quickly. Do Not Pass Go do not collect $200. LoL.

(DJ Khaled - "I'm So Hood" Remix)

Bootleg Movies/CDs

Going to the movies is expensive now a days. Even a matinee will cost you $7. But who really goes to the movies alone? So, add another $7 for your date then popcorn/refreshments and you've easily spent close to $30 or more to watch one movie. Also, what does a new CD cost? About $10-$16? Well luckily in any hood you can find someone selling bootleg movies/CDs. If you are unable to find anyone just look for your local barbershop or beauty salon. If they're not inside then just ask one of the barbers or beauticians most likely someone has their number in their phone. As far as prices go, most times you can get 3 for $20 and if your negotiation skills are up to par you will pay even less. My rule when buying is pull out only what you are willing to spend. If you got $10 say I need the 3 for $10. Trust me if they can make $10 and it's right in they're face they're not going to turn it down. But if you pull out a $20 bill and say I need change they're going to want the whole $20. *Warning* Don't purchase any bootleg Movie or CD expecting top notch quality. Sometimes they have the portable DVD players so you can view before you buy, which I do advise you do. Because trust me the movies can have anything from babies crying, cats meowing, to people laughing and walking past the screen. Also, that new Lil' Wayne The Carter III CD will most likely have songs from The Carter I & II mixed in with the new songs. So be forewarned.

Loose Squares (Cigarettes)

I don't smoke cigarettes but I do know that smoking is an expensive ass habit. Here in the Chi I'm sure with the new Cook County Sales Tax most are paying well over $6 a pack. It's sad when an illegal habit (i.e. smoking a $5 nickel bag of weed) is cheaper. But luckily in the Hood someone has already spent the $6 for a pack of cigarettes. So, if you happen to be craving a smoke just listen for the person yelling "Loose Squares!!" Now if someone spent $6 for a box of 20 cigarettes that's about $0.30 cents per cigarette. But you're going to come out of pocket with at least $1 if you're trying to get one of these loosies. Your best bet is to negotiate and try to get maybe 3 for $2. The same negotiation rules apply. Exact change only!! Oh and don't expect a huge variety of cigarette brands to choose from. Newport is the Hood favorite so that's what you'll be getting when buying a loose square.

Speed Humps

Now you're probably thinking speed bumps are everywhere. Well the hood is the only place I've seen speed humps on residential streets. Some blocks have 2 or 3 of them on that one block. I don't know exactly what brought about these speed humps. Perhaps people were speeding so much that residents complained and this was the answer. But I think more than anything this was a tactic to help police. No one wants to be running from the police driving 50+ mph and hit one of these speed humps. That's one car chase that will end quite quickly and leave your front end pretty messed up.

Liquor Store near a Church

Only in the hood have I seen a Church that is on the same block as a Liquor Store. Sometimes they're so close they're practically next door. This is the old chicken and egg theory so I couldn't tell you which came first. But it's one of the biggest contradictions there can be. I get it though. You come from church where they preach about Saint John and then you go to the liquor store to get a 40 oz. of St. Ides. Or you go from listening to the Old Testament and then grab you a 40 of Old English. Or after hearing about his crown of thorns you get you a bottle of Crown Royal. I can go on all day. But you get the point. LoL!

Food Stamp/Link Card Hook Up

Even groceries are more expensive these days. However, if you find yourself in the store shopping and have a cart full of items be on the look out. You know that your grocery bill is going to easily be $100 or more. But if someone walks by looks in your cart and asks you are you paying in cash don't be alarmed. Hear them out. This little conversation may actually save you some money. And who doesn't like to save money? So how does it work? Well the person that asked you that question will say let me pay for your groceries on my Link Card. They will say if you have $100 worth of groceries you can pay me $75 in cash to use my Link Card. Now don't forget your negotiation skills because if they said $75 you can easily get them to $60. All you have to say is that you were going to pay with your debit/credit card and you only have $60 in cash. Trust me they will take it. However, here's the other rule. Make sure the person walks through the line with you and after all the groceries are rang up and the total displays have them run their card through and input the pin and make sure the transaction is approved first. Once it is and your groceries are bagged and in the cart then you can pay them the money. Keep in mind the link will only cover food/beverage items (liquor doesn't count). **Warning** You may want to have the grocery bagger carry your groceries out to the car, because you don't want the same person that gave you the hook up to hit you over the head in the parking lot and make off with your groceries and the $60.

The Best Chicken

I'm not talking about fake ass KFC chicken. Other than your momma or grand momma's fried chicken the best chicken will always be found in the hood. Whether it's Harold's Chicken (Chicago), Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (Los Angeles), or Mr. P's (Memphis). If you want some good chicken go to the hood and ask someone where the best chicken is and they will let you know. But please keep a couple things in mind when visiting these fine establishments. One, they may appear to be a hole in the wall, but don't judge the chicken by the look of the building inside or out. And two, don't expect great or even moderate service. Again, you're not paying for good service or a good looking building, you're paying for great chicken. If you can keep these things in mind you'll get to taste some of the best chicken money can buy. On a side note, if you want great service you won't find it at any restaurant in the hood fast food or otherwise. LoL.

Undercover Police Cars

I'm sure I'm not the only one that hates when they see a Ford Crown Victoria and thinks it's the cops so you either slow down, stash your weed, guns, drink etc for nothing. Lol. Although under cover cop cars are not just in the hood, you will see a good number of them while you ride throughout the hood blocks. But you better not get caught doing any illegal activity when they ride past they don't call them the "Jump Out Boys" for nothing. Oh and here's a hood fact for those of you that don't know, the best way to tell if it's really a cop car is by the license plates. The plate numbers will usually start with a green M.

Police Cameras

Speaking of Police. They no longer have to patrol every block in the hood as frequently. Many Police Departments now have an eye in the sky to assist them. So if you're driving through the hood at night and see a blue light above the lamp post blinking don't worry you didn't see a shooting star or a UFO it's simply the police camera. Now I don't know how much of a crime deterrent these cameras are but you'll find them strategically placed on "high crime" blocks and neighborhoods. However, there have been plenty of times where I've driven through the hood and as I pass the police camera all is quiet on the home front. But as soon as I turn the corner of the next block I see plenty of illegal activity going on. (I was vague so I'm not snitchin. LoL). **Warning** For those of you that are involved in illegal activity remember that these cameras can zoom in up to several blocks away. So don't think that if you're 2 blocks away doing what you do that it can't see you.

Target: Rat Signs

Ever since I was born my grandmother has lived in the same house. There is an alley right next to her house. And since I can remember even up until recently they have had this sign on the telephone pole. Although I've seen plenty of "hood rats," in the 28 years I've been around this house I have never a rat in this alley. Nor have I ever seen one in any Chicago alley. I guess the targeting is working. Good Job Mayor Daley maybe the head of the rat targeting should be the Police Chief. Actually, the only time I have seen a rat was in one of the lower parts of downtown Chicago.

Ignorant Rims

"Only in the Hood" will you see a car with rims that are bigger and taller than your average 5 year old. What is the fascination is with these rims? Well your guess is as good as mines. It doesn't really make sense to me to have to carry a step ladder with you just to get in and out of your car, but hey everyone is free to waste and spend their money as they feel. If nothing else the owner of these rims has definitely achieved their goal of being seen. Is a car like this even street legal?

Children Fundraising

You're probably thinking awww what's wrong with children raising funds for their schools or sports teams? Well if I could verify that's where my funds were going then I wouldn't have a problem donating and supporting. However, I've driven through the hood and stopped at plenty intersections and had kids ask me to donate to their sports team. Now the first problem I have is not a one of these kids has on a jersey, pair of cleats, team hat, or anything representing the sports team their collecting money for. Not even a damn Bulls or Cubs jersey come on! All they have is an old tootsie roll bank or jar with white paper around it and something scribbled on it. So, I don't know if I'm contributing towards team uniforms or to some kid's new pair of Jordans. Now some of the kids I've seen at least have the fundraiser box of M&Ms and they give you a pack for $1. Although those fundraiser boxes can be purchased at any Sam's Club, at least you're getting something for your money. I remember one time years ago I saw some kids collecting money to help their momma go to the Million Woman March. True Story!!

Ghetto Entrepreneurs

Some may call them Street Vendors but in the hood you can call them Hustle Man or the PC term I came up with Ghetto Entrepreneurs. Basically at any given busy intersection in the hood you're liable to find these individuals selling almost anything you can think of. I already mentioned a few of them earlier, the loose cigarettes and the bootleg movies/CDs. But other examples I've seen for sale are as follows: Bean Pies, Final Call Newspapers, The Chicago Tribune, candy, socks, towels, t-shirts, framed pictures, etc. Also, they are very opportunistic so they won't hesitate to take advantage of an opportunity. For instance, if it's hot outside they have cold water and or pop/soda. If it's a holiday like Mother's Day or Valentines Day they will have flowers and teddy bears for sale. If the city's sports team wins a championship they have plenty t-shirts, hat, and team memorabilia for sale. The funny thing is that on some intersections you will have up to 5 or more different hustle men selling different things. Not to mention the kids "raising" money for their team and at least one bum panhandling. Don't ask me how they all get along out there perhaps Rodney King would know. But good thing it's not drugs they are selling because I don't think most dealers like sharing corners.

Hood Sports

In the hood most parents have little or no resources to provide sports equipment for their children. However, as you know a kid is going to find a way to play regardless. Sometimes it just takes a little innovation. That's how a milk crate with the bottom broken out or a wire hanger bent into a circle can become a basket ball hoop. Or that's how some old extension cords can become jump ropes. Also, this is how a stick can become a base ball bat. I remember my brother and I broke my aunt's broom using it as a bat once. We got our asses whooped of course but we had a ball playing with it. Last time I was in the hood I drove past a group of kids (one being my little cousin) playing hockey in the street. They were using an empty water bottle as a puck and everyone had something different as their hockey stick. My cousin had a single crutch. It was funny and sad to think that somewhere someone was hobbling around looking for their other crutch. LoL. Guess this is why I should donate to the kids' sports teams more often huh?

Crackheads aka Hypes

Well I saved the best for last. Now I know you were all wondering when I was going to get to them the whole time you were reading this? How could I forget about the crackheads? They're like what makes the Hood go round. Just as they say there's one in every family so you better believe that I'm not exempt. So, when I speak it's from a personal level. With that said although crackheads are every where there is an abundant number of them in the Hood. Why, do you ask? Well it's simple that's where the drugs are. A hype will steal from their own momma (I've seen it done) to get money for their next fix. So, if you come across one of these unique inividuals you never quite know what the encounter will be like. They will sell any and everything in order to raise capital to fund their habit. I've come across hypes selling all kinds of items. Whether it be food stamps as previously mentioned, or actual food. Here's a random list of items I've seen hypes selling in no particular order: Shoes (not new shoes I'm talking a pair off of someone's feet), half way working TV sets, DVDs, VCRs, food out of the freezer, used clothing, appliances, furniture, perscription glasses, purses, wallets, gloves, coats, etc. You name it a crackhead has probably stolen and sold it. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has purchased merchandise from a crackhead. Hell, Some of you may be reading this blog on a computer you bought from a crackhead. But I'm not mad at you one bit unfortunately someone else's loss can be your gain. Now I know we've discussed negotiation skills throughout this blog. But when dealing with a hype you need to just remember 2 things. Low Ball the hell out of em'!! With the other negotiations the other person you were dealing with had a totatlly different mentatilty. However, this is crackhead mentality you're dealing with so if they want $20 then you offer no more than $5. If they want $50 then you offer no more than $20. You get the idea. Basically, there may be some haggling back and forth but once you low ball them you've established that you're not paying over a certain amount. So the likely response to your initial offer will be "come on man you can give me at least $10 you know this TV is at least worth that." Feel free to either accept or counter offer here. But as always make sure you have exact change for the transaction.

That concludes our Hood Tour. Come back soon we'll be adding more attractions. In closing, I'll leave you with a few comedic interpretations of crackheads and how they act.

(Crackhead Night)

(Menace II Society)

(Tyrone Biggums)

--C-Recks--