Repost: Best of Both Worlds

Since today is SuperBowl Sunday I thought this old post from September would perfect to repost today.

There's a new White commercial that has been recently airing. I wasn't able to find the video online so you'll have to settle for my description. If you need to view a previous version of the "when the crave calls" commercial click the link. They're all virtually the same basis just with different scenarios. The basic premise behind this particular commercial is this. A guy and a girl are on the couch and look to have just been "fooling around" and the girl says "I'll be right back and don't you go any where." Basically she's letting him know that she's going to go slip into something a little more "comfortable". Well as she walks away the guy's cell phone rings. Well the caller on the other end is not really a person but the crave calling him to come eat White Castles (cue the music). The man tries to reason and explain that it's not a good time right now. The music plays again indicating that the crave is very insistent on him coming right now! Unable to resist the crave, and in true fictional fashion the guy chooses to answer the crave and runs out of the door. Just as he exits a scantily clad female walks out wondering where he went.

Now yes the commercial did bring about a bit of a laugh. But one of the times I saw this commercial I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching the same Chicago Bears game. Well of course he agreed just as probably any guy that watched this commercial would and said there's no way that they would choose hunger over even the slightest possibility that sex is going down. Especially in the case of the commercial where this man was 99.9% golden pending he wasn't one of those unfortunate men that require a little blue pill and forgot to take it. LoL. Being of the male species I can and will keep it real with you. Let's say a man just got released from being held hostage for months I'm talking having been starved and tortured John McCain style (We've all heard the story by now). However, upon his release if you immediately put on a table a sandwich (with the works ham, turkey, salami, cheese, bacon, etc.) and next to that sandwich a naked woman I'm willing to bet all I have that 90% of the time the man will take the naked woman. Now perhaps midway through handling his business he may take a quick bite of the sandwich to keep his energy up, but the initial reaction is all the evidence I need to win the bet. LoL!

Well I thought that my theory was bullet proof like 50 Cent, that was until someone posed this question to me the other day. I will attempt to phrase the question just as it was stated to me.

"Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday and you're having a Super Bowl Party. So you've got good food, lots of beer, the big plasma TV, some good friends and family and the most comfortable seat in house all ready for the Big Game. What if right before the opening kick off your wife or girlfriend calls you to the room. You run to the room as to not miss any of the game and upon entering the room she greets you naked and wants you to have sex right then and there. What do you do?"

Now unlike my previous example with the food vs sex, for some reason I was just a bit puzzled as to what my answer would be. My very first thought is what kind of nymphomaniac freak have I married or gotten involved with that would even put me in the position to make this choice? LoL. I mean does she not know that I have watched game after game week after week (16+ in total) in order to see this one game? Does she not know I've watched my favorite team lose heart breaking games and even perhaps miss the playoffs this year? If she's my wife or girlfriend then she has to know all of this. So why oh why would she do this to me?

Alright I know this is by far not the worst position to be put in world but still it's a decision that I would prefer not to have to make. I can see the angel and the devil on my shoulder trying to get me to choose sides. Except in this case I don't know which is the good side and which is the bad side. But on one side there's a man with a football referee uniform on and the other is a woman with an angel robe on and a cheerleader outfit under it. Now both have valid arguments as to why I should choose one over the other.

Ref: Why are we even having this debate we've done the coin toss time for the kick off get out there on the field game on!! (Blows whistle).

Angel: It's sex!!

Ref: That's all you have to say to plead your case? It's sex? Would you tell her to put some clothes on and come back out here so you don't miss any of the game.

Angel: It's SEX!!

Ref: Is this really your argument? So you think that just because it's sex he's supposed to miss the biggest game of the year? You bought that 55inch Plasma screen just for this game!

Angel: Let's Talk about sex baby... (Singing the words to Salt and Peppa's song).

Ref: See this is B.S. it's Super Bowl Sunday. You have cold beer, snacks, and the best damn sporting event waiting on you what's to think about?

Angel: S.E.X. take a deep breath and think before you let it goooo!!... (Singing the words to Lyfe Jennings' song).

Ref: (Blow Whistle and throws flag!!) Personal Foul unnecessary singing!!

Angel: Listen this is all I have to say. No, it's not sex again. But there's a beautiful naked woman here ready and willing. Now you mean to tell me you'd rather watch a man take a snap from behind another man when you could be taking your own snap with her as your center?

Ref: Man she's your girl she's not going no where why does it have to be now? How about you sacrifice the half time show. (Whispers: Don't worry Janet Jackson isn't performing this year) You can come and finish this then.

Angel: Oh trust it'll be too late by then and you'll probably be sacrificing about a months worth of sex and your bed. So I hope that Lazy Boy is extra comfy.

Ref: (Blows Whistle) Injury timeout on the field. Get my man an ice pack for his future blue balls!! Because we're still going back to watch the game right?

Angel: Okay here's the last chance and the last option for you. Tivo or DVR. You do your thing here and when you get done go back and rewind the game and watch from the beginning. You'll both be happy, she gets what she wants (sex) and you still get what you want (the game). You can skip the commercials and the half time show and come back and watch them later and by the end of half time you'll be back watching the game live. So what do you say?

Ref: I think I saw a challenge flag thrown.

Me: Well she does have some valid points I think I'll take her last option.

Ref: After further review of the play the ruling on the field stands: This is some bullshit!!

Angel: No man can resist you were fighting a losing battle.

(Both poof and disappear)

Well in actually the thought process of that decision took a matter of a few seconds but believe it or not all of those things went through my head before I gave my answer to the question. The DVR option was in fact my final answer by the way. Thank God for technology. LoL. But on the real I just can't imagine being put in a situation such as that. I mean I love Football and sports but does it outweigh a man's desire to want to have sex?

Before I go just just a quick word of advice to the ladies. Please don't do any nonsense such as this to your men. Now if it's preseason, even regular season then let's make it happen, I'll even miss the whole game. And although it's a stretch, I may even make an exception for the playoffs. But on Super Bowl Sunday this is just torture. Although most will choose the sex option there will be plenty of resentment behind it. And no offense he's not doing it because he wants you oh so bad at that moment. It's because he doesn't want to face the possible consequences of choosing football over you. So a simple solution to this is to go ahead and watch the game with him. You may not know what the hell is going on but just sit quietly and ask very few questions during the game. When he cheers just cheer right along with him. Keep a cold beer near and a few snacks within arms reach. And if he's happy with the outcome of the game celebrate with him and if he's sad or upset just don't bring it up at all. If you can do this one thing then trust and believe your man will do anything you want the day after the game. His honeydew list will be completed and he'll be rubbing your feet and feeding you grapes. Well maybe that's a stretch but he will appreciate this gesture and you will be rewarded generously for it.

P.S. To the guys. You know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day? Well the Super Bowl is usually before Valentines Day. Hint Hint. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.??

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday. In this weekly segment we will be highlighting women that we feel fit into the category of M.I.L.F. Again, if you're not familiar with the term M.I.L.F. keep in mind it is an acronym for (Mother I'd Like To F____). Feel free to fill in your own F-word there. But my personal criteria for a woman to qualify as a M.I.L.F. would be that she would have to be an attractive lady over the age of 35 with at least 1 child. So here's this week's lineup...

Thandie Newton - Age 37

If you ask my brother his dream girl would be a beautiful black woman with a British accent. Don't ask me why ask him. lol. Well I know for sure that Thandie Newton fits into this category. Born and raised in London, Newton began acting in the early 90's but had no note worthy roles. It wasn't until a role the 1994 movie "Interview with the Vampire" that she came on the radar. She later on went to play roles in movies like "Jefferson in Paris," and "Gridlock'd." And no man can forget her role in "Beloved," the movie adaptation of Toni Morrison's book. In that movie she appears naked and pregnant in one particular scene. Other movie roles included: "Mission Impossible II," "The Truth About Charlie," "Crash," "Pursuit of Happyness," "Norbit," "Run Fatboy Run," and most recently in "W" as Condoleeza Rice. Also she played in about 13 episodes of the TV show E.R. At age 37 Thandie has 2 daughters ages 8 and 4 and you probably would never even be able to tell she's had children.

Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas - Age 37

In 1992 when the group TLC jumped on the music scene with their single "Aint Too Proud to Beg," the group became instant sex symbols. Also wearing the colorful condoms everywhere was a big help with that as well. But even though the group wore baggy clothes which were the trend back then they were still sexy. Well when their 2nd album CrazySexyCool dropped they let go of the baggy clothes and wore more feminine attire. It was at that time where I chose my favorite of the 3 which was Chilli. The group went on to record 2 more albums and sell millions more. Unfortunately tragedy struck when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002. Chilli is still working on her solo career. She's also acted in movies such as "House Party 3," "Hav Plenty," and "Snow Day." Her acting resume also includes shows such as: "That 70's Show," "The Parkers," and "Strong Medicine." Of course we all know Chilli was romantically involved with Usher until he released his "Confessions" album in 2004. Believe it or not Chilli has an 11 year old son with producer Dallas Austin.

Sharon Leal - Age 37

Ironically today October 17th is Sharon Leal's 37th B-day. Well happy birthday Sharon as a gift allow me to induct you onto our M.I.L.F. List. Sharon began acting on the soap opera "The Guiding Light." She then moved on to act in the TV shows "Legacy," "Boston Public," "Las Vegas," "LAX," and "CSI: Miami." Leal has also appeared in movies such as "Dream Girls," "Why did I get Married," and "This Christmas." She will also be in the last Bernie Mac Movie "Soul Men" that is due out soon. Leal has worked both in front of and behind the camera directing episodes of such shows as; "Sister Sister," "The Game," "One on One," "Half and Half," "Girlfriends," and "The Parenthood." Leal has a 4 year old daughter.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.?

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday or M.I.L.F.F. If you missed last week's opener feel free to take a look back Here. Basically this weekly segment will list in no particular order women we feel fall into the M.I.L.F. category. Again M.I.L.F. stands for Mother I'd Like to F ____ (fill in your own F word here). My personal rule for determining who classifies as a M.I.L.F. would be a good looking woman that is at least 35 years of age and has at least 1 child.

Vanessa L. Williams - Age 45

Vanessa Williams is still probably most remembered for being the first African American Miss America in 1984. Unfortunately due to some controversial naked photos that appeared in Penthouse, she was pressured to resign from her duties as Miss America. She later went on to have a successful music career as an R&B singer. She didn't pop up on my radar until she released the 1991 single "Save the Best for Last." Williams also had many roles in Hollywood. One of her early movie roles I remember was "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man." She later went on to star in movies like "The Jacksons: An American Dream," "Hoodlum," and 1997's "Soul Food," which was probably her most memorable role to date. Other movie roles included "Light it Up" and "Johnson Family Vacation." Also, she's had roles on TV shows such as "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "Star Trek," "Between Brothers," "Ally McBeal," "South Beach," and most recently "Ugly Betty." At 45 Vanessa Williams has 4 kids (ages 21, 19, 15, and 8). Although she has admitted to using Botox she still looks damn good after 4 kids.

Nia Long - Age 37

Nia Long's real name is actually Nitara Carlynn "Nia" Long. Nia is her stage name. Another fun fact is that Nia Long's half Sister is Sommore of the Queens of Comedy. Long's first acting appearance was in an episode of "227." Her next role in the 1991 movie "Boyz N The Hood" would turn out to be her break out role. This was when I was first introduced to her and have been a fan ever since then. She went on to land roles in movies such as "Made in America," "Friday," "Love Jones," "Hav Plenty," and "Soul Food" with the aforementioned Vanessa Williams. Also, she appeared in "In Too Deep," "The Best Man," "Stigmata," "Boiler Room," "Big Momma's House 1 & 2," "Are we there/done yet?" and "Premonition." Not to mention Long has played in TV shows such as "Living Single," "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "ER," "Moesha," "Judging Amy," "Third Watch," "Boston Legal," and "Big Shots." Nia Long has an 8 year old son and still looks amazing.

Regina King - Age 37

Regina King had her first acting role playing the daughter Brenda on the TV show "227" from 1985-1990. Then in 1991 she played a role in the movie "Boyz N The Hood" and followed it up with her performance in "Poetic Justice." On a side note I still want to know how Chicago (Joe Torrey's Character) got that damn brush back. LoL. Well Regina King went on to take on supporting roles in many top rated movies. Her discography also includes: "Higher Learning," "Friday," "A Thin Line Between Love and Hate," "Jerry Maguire," "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," "Enemy of the State," "Mighty Joe Young," "Down to Earth," "Daddy Daycare," "Legally Blonde 2," "Miss Congeniality 2," and "This Christmas." Also, she played roles on TV shows like "Ny Undercover," "Living Single," and "24." Most recently she's played the voices of Huey and Riley on the popular adult cartoon "The Boondocks." At 37 Regina king is the mother of an 11 year old boy.

To Be Continued...

Got M.I.L.F.?

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