Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Elementary My Dear Employee

Objective: Experienced, and educated individual seeking exciting and challenging position within a growing company.

Translation = Please hire me so I can escape this HELL they call a Job.

Like many of you I have been through many years of schooling and now work a 9-5 job. Well maybe it's just me and my job but I swear sometimes I feel like I'm back in school. You name the grade; 1st grade, 6th grade, or 10th Grade. Honestly it tends to vary on a day to day basis. As I have mentioned before I work with mostly women. But I like to consider myself the quiet type employee that basically sticks to himself and does his job for 8 hours a day. I try to mind my own damn business and not get involved in the every day gossip and trivial things that go on in the work place. Basically, I just want to do my time so I can go home at the end of the day.

However, that doesn't stop me from being very observant as to the happenings around our small office. Some things are funny, while others are just down right stupid and a waste of my time and thoughts. You can read examples of what I'm talking about Here. as well as Here. Well recenlty I went throughout the office and taken a few pictures of some things that are just down right ridiculous in nature. They truly make me feel like I'm back in grade school as opposed to at a Job with other adults. As you continue to read you'll see what I mean.

This lovely sign was inspired by the abundant number of individuals that would make their coffee or eat their lunch and leave a damn mess. I don't drink coffee. If I do it's a rare occasion or a very restless couple of nights. Also, I go home for lunch. So there is no chance that I'm the guilty culprit. However, other people think that their mothers work here as well. Therefore, they aren't even considerate enough to clean up after themselves when they make a mess. The sign has slightly deferred some from leaving a mess behind. But then again there are those people that you just wonder to yourself how do they live at home. Like you just know they live nasty as hell.

Here's another sign that's in the kitchen. Now who in today's times doesn't own a microwave oven? Well even if you don't own one I'm sure we've all used a microwave before. Therefore, who doesn't know that when you heat up food in the microwave that food can splatter as it gets hot? Well apparently one or more of the idiots I work with don't know this. Either that or they're just that damn lazy to cover up their food when heating it. Then when they do make a mess once again are so inconsiderate they'll leave the mess for the next person to clean. Well this sign has at least kept the microwave messes to a minimum lately.

Okay here's one last kitchen sign. This sign is posted on the refrigerator just like my [4 year old] son's art work is on my fridge at home. Well anyways this particular sign was inspired for a couple of reasons. First, people would bring their lunch and if they didn't eat it all they would leave it in the fridge. I don't know if they just forgot about it being in there, or if they were just too lazy to take it out and walk the 10 steps to the trash to discard their food. But when the fridge gets full and people try to make room then they notice some old Chinese food or Pizza in the back growing mold. Then someone gets stuck spending 30 minutes cleaning out the fridge. Just ignorant I tell you!!!... Now on to the other part of the sign. So, people put items such as yogurt, soda/pop, juice, and condiments in the fridge for later use. Well some employees feel the need to take other peoples food as if it is community food. We've complained about the problem before. However, after the manager had her yogurt stolen she decided to post this sign on the refrigerator.

Now this sign would be very appropriate and I believe required by law if I were working in a restaurant. However, keep in mind I work in a small office. There are no more than 15-20 people ever in the office at a time. This sign is just appalling to me every time I go to the bathroom. Do you mean to tell me that grown ass people have to be reminded to do something that we were taught to do at 2 years old? Well apparently the answer to that question is a sad yes. This sign was put up after someone pissed all over the toilet seat. Of course that means that a man was the likely culprit. And being one of the few men in the office I was pissed to think that someone may be thinking it was me. Of course that is not the case, given that between my mom and my ex-wife I've spent 25 years living with women. Therefore, I'd say I'm pretty well trained in that department. As for the other part of the sign, another time someone else handled their business and didn't flush. Come on this is just damn ridiculous.

Well these signs can get pretty redundant. I would think that someone would be able to notice that the picture of the man means it's the men's bathroom. Also, the picture of the one in the skirt would mean it's the ladies restroom. Likewise, the one with both the man and woman would be a unisex or co-ed bathroom. Well tell this to the old guy that inspired these signs. The old guy no longer works with us. However, he took it upon himself to bypass the unoccupied men's and unisex restrooms to go into and use the ladies room. Well I don't know why he did this I'd say he must have been an old pervert but who knows. All I know is the women were up in arms about this and stated he even left the toilet seat up. Therefore, the manager was prompted to post these signs on the restrooms just as a reminder. I couldn't get the picture of the men's bathroom but the sign was blue since blue is for boys according to my son. LoL.

Fortunately, that's all that I have for now. But you get the point. I'm sure come next week there will be another stupid violation that will prompt another sign to be posted somewhere. I'm expecting a sign stating "Don't cut in line at the water cooler." Or "Quiet while others are on the phone." Now I know that most of you are thinking how can you even work in an environment like that? Or that I should find a new job fast. Although I'm thankful I even have a job in these tough economic times, trust and believe that I've been trying to escape like Remy Ma. Unfortunately, I've been having the same luck that she did. LoL. But anyone with a job hook up in or around the Chicago Land area by all means holla at ya boy. I'll promptly forward my real resume to you. LoL.



Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

all i can say is start your own business - the best time is during a reciession. pay yourself and u will always eat

Just Jasmine said...

I agree with Torrance.

But yes sometimes you run into people who are less than clean. Its really nasty. t's even worse in my "office".
I work with 3 people. I know who the nasty one is..

Sexxy Luv said...

lmao! we work in the same office we have to, cause we have the same signs posted every where just like you guys! lol

i work @ a mental health facility and one of the Psychiatrist was the person eating others food out the fridge! lol

hopefully you'll feel better knowing you're not the only one that works in a crazy environment.

the 3rd tWin said...

wow... i understand not everyone is toe-2-toe on how to upkeep a work environment- well, any environment where you must spend a majority of your time at... *looks at the sign on the microwave in the dining hall of the university.* ...but jeez, why is there a grown man walking into a women's restroom?

im just shocked... shocked. is this what i have to look foward to went i become a teacher + i hit up the teacher's lounge? someone munching on my cheap lunch? people letting the roaches clean up after themselves? lol

Brothers Blog said...

@ Torrance - Yeah self employment is definitely in the works.

@ Jasmine - Wow your office is worse? That's hard to imagine, but people never cease to amaze me.

@ Sexxy - LMAO. I Knew your face looked familiar. lol. I'm glad that at least I'm not alone in this boat.

@ 3rd Twin - Yeah hopefully you have better luck when you finish school and hit the teachers lounge. lol

Miss Foxxy said...

LMAO @ all those signs. it reminds me of back in college, some of my friends lived together [like 6 of them in a 3-bedroom apt] and they had signs like that posted EVERYWHERE in their apartment! it was ridiculous then, and even more ridiculous now in the workplace.

luckily at my job people know better than to eat/drink food in the fridge that isn't yours. but people do have a bad habit of leaving their shit in the fridge for months.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I am always the one person at work cleaning up after other people. I should be making signs.
Instead I vocalize my complaints. "I am not your mother."
"I could have sworn I only have two children and neither of them are old enough to work here."
"Is this how y'all live at home?"

Funny thing is my house needs cleaning.
But, at work I am a neat freak.

And we have a guy (young) who has been known to use the woman's bathroom. And we only have a man and a woman bathroom. It makes me so mad.
Maybe he likes the atmosphere in there. The mens bathroom is plain. And ours has flowers (fake) and lotions, makeup, curling irons, maxi pads. . .

Soulstress said...

At my internship there's a unisex bathroom..and i've noticed pee pee on the seats..but i dont wanna use the clients bathroom just seems that grown a$$ men shuld kno how to keep it in the bowl...but guess not.

Mayb we need sum home training seminars;)

Charles said...

You know some people don't have any home training, thats just how they are. I swear these signs are up in every office just about. And its ridiculous that you have to get on kids about the same damn things that grown ass adults seemingly should know and do.


clnmike said...

lol, if there is one thing I learned from working with a lot of women is to keep your mouth shut, keep busy, and do like boxing protect your self at all times.

1/3 said...

lol the signs are kinda overdone but neccessary if people arent following the rules.

LOL @ your translation.

Brothers Blog said...

@ Miss Foxxy- Now I would have to really move if I had signs like that where I live that's too much.

@ Sharon - LOL We tried the vocalized approach too often the signs were the 2nd resort. And LMAO @ the ladies room atmosphere. Once I saw a maxi pad I'd have to vacate. lol

@ Soulstress - Shouldn't grown men know how to lift the seat therefore avoiding hitting the seat at all? I'm sure I wasn't the only man taught that. I'm sorry I'm only teaching my son can't save those other men. lol.

@ Charles - I have worked in other offices and I swear this is the first I've dealt with this. But yeah it's damn ridiculous alright.

@ ClnMike - Lmao @ the boxing analogy. But I see you feel me and have learned as well. LOL.

@ 1/3 - Yeah sadly the signs are needed. But I'm glad you liked my translation. Sometimes I really be wanting to say that on some help a brother out stuff. lol.

Just Jasmine said...

Sadly I don't think the men are responsible for the tinkles. Women can be quite disgusting when it comes to Bathroom manners.

ToshaRenelle said...

Office jobs, 9 to 5s and Corporate America in general clearly have a uniform way of existing. I've seen each and every last one of those signs at ever company I've worked for since I've been working in Corporate America for the past 10 years.

SMH - So glad I have left Corp. America and am now a nanny.

Lena said...

Thanks for stopping by and leaving comments, appreciate it.

LMAO off at this post because sadly those signs remind me of my old apartment, but I was the note writer and they were much meaner. I tried to be an adult about it and talk to them but their excuse was "I forgot" so I left big mean notes to remind them. It was pretty hilarious but sad at the same time.