Confessions of an Auto Finance Company Employee

So last Friday morning we were awakened out of our sleep by somone laying on our buzzer! If you've ever been awoken out of your sleep by any loud sound whether it be a baby crying, smoke alarm or whatever then you know how it leaves you in that sort of panic state. So I stumbled to the living room and politely, asked who was at the buzzer. Naw I'm lying I think I said something like "who the hell is this?"

The respondant stated they were with some auto recovery place and they were looking for the previous tenant. I yelled back they don't live here or something to that affect. They persisted to ask where he lives now and is he in another apartment. I again yelled I don't know, but he doesn't live here. They tried to again aggressively question me through the intercom. Finally, they said well this is unit ___ and we have his car on the tow truck. I was about to say I don't give a.... "wait what kind of car is it?" (I'm good but I was half sleep so you know I had to just make sure. lol) He replied "A Mercedes Benz." I yelled back "oh ok well whatever he don't live here bye!"

After that I looked at the time and it was like 4am. I was left unable to go back to sleep for probably another hour. Mind you I get up at like 6:40am. But in the end I guess I found it kind of funny, just because of what I used to do for a living. So as a treat to all those that may be struggling in this down economy I decided to re-post the blog below. Some tips that may help you out if you're in the same spot as my man with the Benz.
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To begin, this is an anonymous posting. It is coming from a person that has expertise in this field/industry and felt the need to help out some individuals by giving out inside information. Use the information as you choose and at your own risk. We assume no liability for what happens based on you using or not using the information...

As we all know today's economy is not what it was 8+ years ago. People are really struggling now a days. They're getting laid off from work, they're in debt, and barely able to keep their head above water. In some cases they're unable to afford food to eat let alone keep a roof over their head or a car to get around in.

Well I work in the car finance company and I have witnessed the people struggling to pay high car note payments. It's hard out here for everyone. And when you're put into a situation as to whether you keep a roof over your family's head and food in the fridge versus to pay a car note payment well it's a simple choice as to which is going to fall by the way side. However, business is business and well the Finance Company is in business to make money and if you're not going to pay for whatever the reason may be well they have no choice but to do what they have to do. And ultimately that decision will be to come looking for their collateral which is the car and or truck or motorcyle.


Well I've been in this field for over 5 years and I've seen and done it all when it comes to car financing and repossessions. However, I'm just the low man on the totem pole so I'm just like the average person. Possibly a paycheck or 2 away from being a victim of the same fate. Therefore, I am writing this confession in an attempt to hopefully help some unfortunate individuals avoid the Repo man. Keep in mind I am not advocating or urging anyone to not pay their bills. Paying your bills on time is always the right thing to do. But just in case anyone finds themselves in a rough spot given these tough economic times well here's a guide to hopefully help you out some. If this doesn't apply to you then be happy but anyone can fall on hard times. But if you can't utilize this information you may know someone that can, just pass it on.

First off keep in mind that all Finance Companies are different in the way they operate. Some are more lenient and allow you to go further behind and will work with you more than others. While some are much stricter, especially given that many customers are no longer paying. Therefore, use this only as a loose guide.

Always keep in contact with the Finance company as soon as a problem arises and you can not pay. If you just got laid off make sure that you contact them immediately. Usually most finance companies offer some type of payment deferment for situations like these where you can skip 1 or 2 months payments at least once a year. Therefore, my first bit of advice is even when times are tough and you're not able to pay for whatever the reason to always keep in touch with your finance company. Of course once you get behind they will without a doubt begin to call you. Although no one like to talk to bill collectors, keep in mind that this isn't a credit card, phone bill, or any other unsecured account. Your vehicle is that company's security. So if they feel at any point that their security is is jeopardy they have the right to come and get it. So if they call answer the phone or if they leave a message return the call. The fastest way to end up on the Repo list is to lose all contact with your finance company. They will assume that you've purposely stopped paying. So when they call you let them know you are not neglecting the car note and plan on paying as soon as you have the money to do so. However, do not make false arrangements that you know you can not keep just to get them off of the phone. Breaking arrangements is also another swift way to get put on the repo list. Also, if you're required to have full coverage insurance on your vehicle then a lapse in your insurance will also bring about the red flags and may even cause them to put forced placed insurance on your vehicle at a higher cost than you providing your own insurance.

So let's say you've exhausted all your means of help meaning you've gotten extensions on your payments and you're still unable to make your monthly payment. Well most companies will make a decision on whether to repo once a person is at least 30 days past due. This means that say your due date is the 20th of each month and you've missed last month's payment. Well when the 20th of the present month comes along you're officially 30 days past due and are technically due 2 payments. Most customers feel like I'm only behind on the last month's payment. However, the finance company will look at it as 2 payments behind and based on your previous payment history (how many payments total and made on time), the value of your vehicle vs. the amount you still owe (if your vehicle is almost paid off it's likely to be worth more money), and sometimes even your attitude towards the collectors when they call you will all determine if you go out for repo. So I would use the 30 day mark as a range of when you can start to suspect your vehicle may be out for repo or about to be put out. At that point you should begin to implement the rules I've listed below.

1.) Keep it Garaged!
If you have a home with a garage then whenever you're home always make sure your vehicle is in the garage. Technically by law a repo company can not enter your garage without a court order (we'll discuss that later). However, that doesn't stop some grimy repo companies from attempting to go in your garage depending on what type of garage you have. Therefore, if you have a garage with windows on it you should cover up the windows so that no one will be able to see inside. Just keep in mind that a repo companies are powerless if they can not find your vehicle. The most they can do is try other clever ways (keep reading) to attempt to retrieve the vehicle.

2.) Keep it Fenced or Blocked In
If you do not have a garage but have a gated or fenced in driveway or hard then you're in just as good a shape. Although they can see the car because of your gated driveway they can not remove the vehicle. Just make sure you have a heavy duty lock and or chain because they are not above trying to cut a lock. Also if you don't have a fence but say you have more than one vehicle or live with a group of people then you can essentially block your car in. The idea is to make sure it's blocked in nice and tight though. Although they are able to most likely easily obtain a key for your vehicle, they are not going to be able to tow 4-5 vehicles out of your driveway to get to yours. Nor will they risk trying to drive it out or tow it out for fear of damaging the other vehicles.


3.) Switch Cars
If you are not fortunate enough to live in a house with a garage or if you work at a job that doesn't have secured parking this may be the best option for you. If you have someone that is willing to help you out ask them to switch vehicles with you. They drive your car and you drive theirs. However, please remember that when you applied for this loan you filled out a reference sheet with 3-5 people you put down as a personal reference. You supplied a name, phone number, and address for those individuals. So make sure that the person you switch with is not on that reference list. I would venture to say that switching cars is probably the most effective way to avoid the repo man. Because they essentially have no clue who has the vehicle. They may know exactly where you live and work and how to contact you. But if you are not driving the vehicle they are looking for then that information is useless. However, as you keep reading the person you switch vehicles with will need to keep some things in mind as well.


4.) Cover it Up.
Although this is not as full proof as switching cars or keeping it in a garage it can possibly be a temporary fix for those of you without garages. While standing on the outside of your car if you look in the front windshield on the far right at the bottom there is a little notch inside there are 17 characters (numbers and letters). This is your VIN (Vehicle Identification Number). This is how they can officially identify your vehicle as being the one they have out for repo. Another way to identify is by plate #. Well if you keep that number covered with a paper or something from the inside it makes it difficult to identify if they have the right vehicle. So they may spot a vehicle that fits the description of the one they have out for repo but if they can't verify that VIN then some companies are reluctant to repo the vehicle for fear of repossessing the wrong one. However, keep in mind that if you simply have it covered there's nothing to stop them from popping your lock and removing the paper you have there. Remember they are a towing company and have the tools to do so. You can try to remove that Vin # from the panel but I don't know the difficulty of doing so. Also, another extreme means would be to paint your vehicle a totally different color. I'm not sure what a paint job runs now a days but I guess if you had the money for a paint job you'd pay the note.

Another indicator of whether or not it is the correct vehicle is the plate #. Repo companies utilize license plate numbers all the time. This is why the switcharoo described above is still not full proof. If you're spotted driving your friend's car or if your friends car is always parked in your driveway then there is nothing to stop them from running your friend's plate #. Once they do it will come back to your friends name and they can then retrieve the friends address. So I would recommend keeping the plate # covered up or removed while parked in your own personal drive way. Now if you do that while parking on the street or in a public parking area you will risk getting ticketed which will bring about other problems as you keep reading.

5.) Avoid Tickets
If you or even if you have switched vehicles with someone it is important that you and that friend avoid getting ticketed for any reason. The reason is because there is a way (At least in the City of Chicago) that you can check to see if a vehicle has received a parking ticket or a red light violation ticket. Once that information is obtained there is a way (which I can not disclose) that the finance or repo company can find out the exact location of where that ticket was given. So say you got a ticket for expired plates or no city sticker while you were parked over your girl's crib. Well they can then find from that ticket your girls address and in turn attempt to repo you from there. Also, the red light violation tickets are online as well. Some you can actually view the video of you running the light. It may be harder to indicate where you were going at the time but it can at least pin point a radius of the area you are in. Also, remember that if for whatever reason your vehicle is booted due to excessive tickets it can then be impounded. Once a vehicle is impounded the finance company will receive notice of this. There is usually about a 3-7 day lapse as to when they receive notice though depending on the city you're impounded in. So if you are impounded and know that you are behind on your payments you better get the vehicle out of the pound right away. Because once the finance company receives notice they will immediately go and pick up the vehicle.


6.) Don't Run Your Credit
Unless you're trying to get a loan that will pay your car note up to date I would avoid having your credit report ran or applying for any new credit. The reason being that any new information you give such as a job, address or phone number will most likely appear on your credit report next time it is ran. And keep in mind that you signed a credit application allowing the finance company to run your credit and they can do so in order to find you or find out information about you. Also, say for instance you just opened up a new account with a new creditor there are ways (which I can not disclose) that they can get the information you provided on your account to that new creditor. Including your current address, phone number, and job information.

7.) Home for the Holidays
Remember I mentioned those references? Well unfortunately you may want to avoid visiting them in your vehicle that is out for repo especially on the holidays. That is right finance and repo companies will some times make it a point to check certain addresses on holidays. If they have your mom or grandmom's address they will run it on a holiday hoping to catch you visiting on Thanksgiving, Christmas or 4th of July. Also, speaking of references if you have any bad blood with any of the people you've put as a reference you may want to quickly make amends with them. Because when it boils down to it they will not hesitate to snitch you out to the repo or finance company. I've seen bitter baby mama's and ex-girlfriends do it a lot. And just know that the finance company is not above offering financial restitution [A bribe] in exchange for information on where you or their vehicle is. What's a couple hundred dollars when it will lead to them recovering their vehicle worth thousands of dollars.

8.) Trap Cards
There are plenty of tactics that can be used to get you to call and once you do they will try to fish for information. One of these tactics is called using a trap card. The repo company will leave a card and or letter at the address stating something that will get you to call them. Once a company we utilized left a card indicating that they were trying to deliver a package to the customer. Well the customer called them back stating she's not home during the day and to deliver the package to her work. Well needless to say that information was used to repo the vehicle and there was never a real package. So if something sounds too good to be true it usually is. Also, with this you should avoid answering unknown/blocked calls, or calls from numbers you do not recognize. If you must return a call check the next tip on how to respond.

9.) Use a Payphone
If for any reason you decide to or have to contact the finance company it's best to do so from a payphone. I know they're kind of hard to find now a days but it will keep them off of your trail. Don't try to use your friend's phone or anyone else because they will find out who's phone you're using. And with today's technology even if you call in blocked or (*67) they can still get the number you're calling from. And if you call from a number they don't have already even if it's a friend's phone they will find out the name and address that number goes to. There are ways they can even text message you with hopes that you respond.

10.) Change of Address
If your vehicle is out for repo they will try to find you at any and every address they have associated with your account. Even old addresses you didn't even know they had. So, if you've moved from a previous address you may not want to put in a change of address with the post office. If your finance company sends a letter to your previous address then the post office will send a change of address back to the company. And you know they'll be looking for you at your new address.

11.) Don't Answer the Door
Just as with answering the phone for unknown callers don't answer the door either. Repo agents will come right up to your door and knock to get in touch with you. Some agents may use aggressive or scare tactics in order to reach you or to obtain the vehicle. For instance some agents carry badges but the badges are simply repossesor badges. But obviously they're hoping that you or the person that answers the door will think it's a police badge. I've even heard of agents lying saying that the vehicle was involved in a hit and run accident with hopes someone will give up some information. So if you have a peep hole use it and don't answer the door for any unknown individuals.


12.) Be on the Look out
Most people think of repo and think tow truck. Well now a days repo agents don't drive the traditional tow trucks. Some have high tech vehicles that look like regular pick up trucks. Also, as I mentioned they can get a copy of your key very easily. So some times they will travel in a regular car hoping to spot your vehicle and simple drive off in it. So, if you're on the look out you'll want to look for anything supsicious not just a tow truck driving down your block.

If you follow the above rules and tips you should be able to avoid the repo man for a time being. Again, this is not a guide for someone to rip off the finance companies even though they may have ripped you off (should've read the fine print). But if you're in a bind and need to buy yourself some time in order to get your finances together then these things may indeed help you out. The last thing that I want to discuss is something that can be a consequence of avoiding the repo man too long. Of course you can face adverse credit ratings, and possibly having your wages garnished. But if the vehicle is expensive and worth a lot to the finance company they can obtain what is called a Replevin. Basically a replevin is a court order in which the finance company has obtained which allows them to demand that you give them the vehicle back. Once this court order is obtained and served to you by a sheriff officer you must surrender the vehicle within the specified time or you will basically be arrested. So, again utilize the above info only to buy yourself time don't go into the business of ripping off finance companies.

--Anonymous--

Text-ual Healing

Well its the New Year, and with the new year comes many wonderful things: mostly new beginnings, and next week, a new President. However with the New Year also comes one of the more dreaded aspects: new laws are taking effect all over the country. I just want to take a minute to express my displeasure with one in particular. I am currently in Los Angeles,California: home of palm trees and blond bitches. (According to Ice Cube, Lol). But as I stated in a previous blog, California is also the testing place for some of our more wacky laws that spread across the country. The newest is a law banning text messaging while driving. This encompasses Reading, composing, and sending text messages. The state of California rushed this particular law through very quickly. See, in 2006, the California legislature passed a law making it illegal to talk on your cell phone in any manner that was less than hands free. The law may have been passed in 2006, but it was not to take effect until July 1st, 2008. I guess upon its arrival over the summer, there must have been an increase in the number of individuals caught text messaging, because, as I remember it, sometime around August or September, the legislature decided that text messaging while driving was just as dangerous. BANNED! Law to take effect January 1st, 2009. And that's where we find ourselves today.

Now in the interest of intellectual honesty, I will admit that I am one of those people who reads, composes, and sends text messages while driving. In my defense however, I drive about 5 times as much as a normal person, maybe more. So its unrealistic to think that I would never find myself in a situation in which I have to read, write or send a text. Also, I have an incredible driving record. (In every state but Illinois. Lol. But that's another blog for another time). So what I'm saying is that whenever I'm driving, I'm also in my office. Meaning that text messages, emails and making/taking phone calls is an absolute must. And to this point, I've been nothing but safe while doing so.

That's my initial argument against the anti-texting ban. However, I have one main argument. We've all seen people driving doing something that I believe is infinitely more dangerous while driving. I'm speaking of people who drive while holding they damn dogs! I don't know about you, but this ranks in my top ten of all-time pet peeves (No pun intended). Now I believe it a fair comparison. Holding a dog while driving versus holding a cell phone while driving. The difference between the two is that the cell phone is an object that only responds to what I command it to do. A dog on the other hand is an animal that is has a mind of its own. Yes there are some dogs that are better trained than others, but that dog is still going to do what it wants to do at the end of the day. And no matter how well trained the dog is, it has absolutely no concept of what the driver is doing.

All that being said, you might ask yourself "why isn't holding an animal while driving illegal?" Seems like a proper question given the assault of cell phone usage the last 3-5 years. Well, in all fairness, the California legislature took up the issue in 2008. A bill was proposed, and passed. All it required was a signature from the governor. No Go! Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his seemingly limited wisdom, vetoed the bill as it came across his desk. Now this is the man who said “The simple fact is it’s dangerous to talk on your cell phone while driving. CHP data show that cell phones are the number one cause of distracted-driving accidents.” Hmmm, I may be able to concede that fact. But since you're doing such a bang up job Nanny Governator, why don't you take a stab at some other things that are dangerous while driving? Say, changing the song on the radio or your ipod, grabbing a bite to eat on the go, and definitely keeping them damn dogs out of the front seat of your car.

I'm not against passing laws to protect the masses. Sometimes government does have our greater good at heart. It just when you have such hypocrisy on the part of some law makers, you have to wonder what their actual motivations are. When it comes to these cell phone laws, I'm sure that the makers of different bluetooth and ear pieces have paid a pretty penny to different governments around the country to ensure that you'll no longer be able to get by with just a hand held. And to all you pooch holders: I guess until PETA starts bitching to the government about how you're endangering the welfare of your pets, and someone invents a doggy car seat, and then lobbies the government to pass a ban on holding your pets while driving, I guess you're in the clear. (Lord, please hasten that day)!


-DrizaDre-

A Dog Day Morning

No offense to any animal lovers or anyone that may work for PETA or PAWS or something, but I'm going to start this off by saying something. I hate dogs! Well not exactly hate, I know that's a strong word. But I don't like them and or have a strong disregard for them.

I know that may sound random as hell, but here's what prompted me to say this. I decided to come to work and do some overtime on this past Saturday morning. There were a few of us in the office working. Well for some damn reason my manager chooses to bring her dog to work with her on Saturdays sometimes. Don't ask me why please don't. But anyways I over heard some of the coworkers talking about the manager is coming in and bringing her dog. I say "she must of thought I wasn't coming in because I told her once about that dog."

On a previous Saturday about a year or so ago I'm sitting at my desk working and I hear some damn barking. Next thing you know this 70lb or so canine runs past our office. I'm like WTF? Sounding like the song "Who Let the dogs loose?" *Woof Woof Woof Woof* Then the dog proceeds to come in our office and is sniffing around. Then he comes up to me. I proceeded to say "Can you please get your Dog? I don't do dogs." That was the nicest I could put it considering it was my manager and I was at work. Had I been in the streets I may have said "You better get this MF-ing dog the hell away from me." So I think I was pretty nice about it considering. lol.

Well the manager then says "I will keep him up front with me don't worry." So, I mumbled under my breath oh "I'm not worried." She then does something unthinkable. She picks the dog up and is holding it as if it's a baby. If you could see her with this bag ass 70+ lb. dog in her arms patting it on it's back and rocking it, you would have had the same WTF look on your face. She then proceeds to talk in baby talk to the dog saying, "you have to stay out here because he doesn't like you it's okay girl mommy still wuvs you." Now I never even talked baby talk to my son when he was a baby. Me and his mom both agreed that was a no no! So I couldn't fathom a grown ass woman talking to a dog in baby talk. I guess like Jay-Z said "I'm like a dog I don't speak but I understand, where my dogs at..."

Well when the manager came in this past Saturday there was no dog with her. I guess someone must've got her the message that I was in the office. Now I'm sure some of you are reading and asking yourself what's so wrong with a dog? Why don't you like them? I will say this in their defense. I don't really like any pets. However, if I'm ever ballin' and on MTV Cribs the only pets I will have are some fish. You know those tight ass fish tanks the stars usually have. But I'll have enough money to pay someone to care for it, so I won't be the one changing the water and all that. lol. But just so you know I don't have a fear of dogs or animals, nor am I allergic to them. I simply don't understand what all the hype over them is. Man's best friend? I think not. I already have a best friend. Nevertheless, the main reason I don't care for them is because there are just some things that I will never get when it comes to people and their dogs. Below you will find my list of those things.

Treating dogs like kids

I understand that not everyone has children. In the case of my manager she does not. Therefore, her dog is like her child. Although some treat their dogs as a member of the family, it's not a child. Come on there is a big difference. When it's cold outside I make sure I dress my son warmly so he doesn't get sick. Whenever I see a dog wearing a sweater I just never understand it. I mean I'm not the smartest person in the world, but didn't God give certain animals fur for a reason? And isn't that so that they can withstand extreme temperatures? I mean I never turned past the discovery channel and saw a polar bear rockin a hoodie or a penguin in a scarf. Why? Because God created them to withstand the cold. I know it's more about the dog owner than the dog being cold. They think it's cute. No difference when parents dress their kids up in funny clothes when they're babies. On babies it's cute but on a dog? Come on now.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Why on earth you would let a dog sleep in the bed with you is beyond me. I've known and heard of couples that literally have their dog sleeping in between them. Most dogs are outside at some point in the day, so unless you put shoes on them too they can't be too clean. Also, they s**t and don't wipe. And you mean to tell me you're comfortable with waking up to a dog's ass in your face? Or what about when you and your significant other want turn over in the middle of the night and get a little frisky? You may feel someone licking your face, but it may not be the person you want. LoL.

Kissing the Dog

Speaking of licking your face. I would have to say that a dog licking your face has got to be one of the most disgusting things ever. I don't know if it's just a myth portrayed on TV or not, but don't dogs drink from the toilet? If so why the hell would you want that same tongue licking you in your mouth? I mean really think about it. If you an absolutely fine (wo)man came up to you and asked can they french kiss you right now, most would answer Yes! But what if they said but just so you know I just drank water out of a toilet? I highly doubt most would still want that kiss. So how is a dog any better or cleaner in that respect?


Pick it Up Pick it Up

Now I know that most dog owners adhere to this law and clean up after their pets handle their business. However, those that don't deserve more than a fine if caught. Why should I have to be subjected to possibly stepping in dog s**t if I walk through some grass? I mean when my son was a baby I threw his stinky pampers in the trash not on the ground for someone else to pick up or step in.

Doggy Day Care
I recently overheard a co-worker saying something to another employee about a doggy day care. Apparently one of the amenities of this Doggy Hotel is that they have a streaming web cam available so that you can view your dog on-line at any time. Sounds like a great idea right? Well I went on the site link above to investigate how much such a service would cost. How about the fees are $35 a day or $460 a month. Now as a parent I can only compare this to the cost of day care for children. Which can average from $600 a month or more depending on the facility. I don't know about anyone else but I haven't even heard of a kid's daycare having such a service. I'm sure that many parents would love to be able to view what goes on in their day care facilitiy while their at work. But again that's one of my problems with dogs, some people treat them equal to or better than humans. Some of these doggy hotels even offer traditional spa services such as aroma therapeutic massages and pawdicures. Can a dog really get that stressed out that they need a massage? You have to be kidding me!

Michael Vick
Finally, speaking of Dogs getting treated better than humans... You should have known it was coming when I started talking about the subject of dogs. But we all know the story about Michael Vick and his sentencing to 23 months in Federal prison for his role in the dog fighting conspiracy. I'm not trying to say that what Vick and his co-conspirators did was right. It was definitely illegal and absolutely immoral. And as much as I don't like dogs I definitely wouldn't want to see any animal abused or neglected. However, the problem I have with the Michael Vick situation is that to me it seems that the dogs have been somehow humanized. I mean how many cases have we seen and heard of where a terrible crime has been committed, but the offender(s) are sentenced to little or no time? Take for instance the case of a man that was convicted of only 60 days of jail time in Vermont back in 2006. Believe it or not the man was found guilty of having sexual contact with a 6 year old girl over the course of 4 years. I know that different states have different laws, but 60 damn Days? WTF? You mean to tell me that dog fighting is a worse crime than sexually assaulting a child? That's just a damn shame. It's just a dog!!

Well I could go on and on about expensive Vet bills, dog whisperers, and buying gifts for dogs, but I think you get my point by now. My dislike for dogs isn't from any tragic experience as a kid or anything like that. I just can't for the life of me comprehend why some people go to certain extremes for their dogs. It's fine to have a dog but I say please treat them as a dog not like a human. They're pets and should stay in a pets place.

--C-Recks--

Elementary My Dear Employee

Objective: Experienced, and educated individual seeking exciting and challenging position within a growing company.

Translation = Please hire me so I can escape this HELL they call a Job.

Like many of you I have been through many years of schooling and now work a 9-5 job. Well maybe it's just me and my job but I swear sometimes I feel like I'm back in school. You name the grade; 1st grade, 6th grade, or 10th Grade. Honestly it tends to vary on a day to day basis. As I have mentioned before I work with mostly women. But I like to consider myself the quiet type employee that basically sticks to himself and does his job for 8 hours a day. I try to mind my own damn business and not get involved in the every day gossip and trivial things that go on in the work place. Basically, I just want to do my time so I can go home at the end of the day.

However, that doesn't stop me from being very observant as to the happenings around our small office. Some things are funny, while others are just down right stupid and a waste of my time and thoughts. You can read examples of what I'm talking about Here. as well as Here. Well recenlty I went throughout the office and taken a few pictures of some things that are just down right ridiculous in nature. They truly make me feel like I'm back in grade school as opposed to at a Job with other adults. As you continue to read you'll see what I mean.

This lovely sign was inspired by the abundant number of individuals that would make their coffee or eat their lunch and leave a damn mess. I don't drink coffee. If I do it's a rare occasion or a very restless couple of nights. Also, I go home for lunch. So there is no chance that I'm the guilty culprit. However, other people think that their mothers work here as well. Therefore, they aren't even considerate enough to clean up after themselves when they make a mess. The sign has slightly deferred some from leaving a mess behind. But then again there are those people that you just wonder to yourself how do they live at home. Like you just know they live nasty as hell.

Here's another sign that's in the kitchen. Now who in today's times doesn't own a microwave oven? Well even if you don't own one I'm sure we've all used a microwave before. Therefore, who doesn't know that when you heat up food in the microwave that food can splatter as it gets hot? Well apparently one or more of the idiots I work with don't know this. Either that or they're just that damn lazy to cover up their food when heating it. Then when they do make a mess once again are so inconsiderate they'll leave the mess for the next person to clean. Well this sign has at least kept the microwave messes to a minimum lately.

Okay here's one last kitchen sign. This sign is posted on the refrigerator just like my [4 year old] son's art work is on my fridge at home. Well anyways this particular sign was inspired for a couple of reasons. First, people would bring their lunch and if they didn't eat it all they would leave it in the fridge. I don't know if they just forgot about it being in there, or if they were just too lazy to take it out and walk the 10 steps to the trash to discard their food. But when the fridge gets full and people try to make room then they notice some old Chinese food or Pizza in the back growing mold. Then someone gets stuck spending 30 minutes cleaning out the fridge. Just ignorant I tell you!!!... Now on to the other part of the sign. So, people put items such as yogurt, soda/pop, juice, and condiments in the fridge for later use. Well some employees feel the need to take other peoples food as if it is community food. We've complained about the problem before. However, after the manager had her yogurt stolen she decided to post this sign on the refrigerator.

Now this sign would be very appropriate and I believe required by law if I were working in a restaurant. However, keep in mind I work in a small office. There are no more than 15-20 people ever in the office at a time. This sign is just appalling to me every time I go to the bathroom. Do you mean to tell me that grown ass people have to be reminded to do something that we were taught to do at 2 years old? Well apparently the answer to that question is a sad yes. This sign was put up after someone pissed all over the toilet seat. Of course that means that a man was the likely culprit. And being one of the few men in the office I was pissed to think that someone may be thinking it was me. Of course that is not the case, given that between my mom and my ex-wife I've spent 25 years living with women. Therefore, I'd say I'm pretty well trained in that department. As for the other part of the sign, another time someone else handled their business and didn't flush. Come on this is just damn ridiculous.



Well these signs can get pretty redundant. I would think that someone would be able to notice that the picture of the man means it's the men's bathroom. Also, the picture of the one in the skirt would mean it's the ladies restroom. Likewise, the one with both the man and woman would be a unisex or co-ed bathroom. Well tell this to the old guy that inspired these signs. The old guy no longer works with us. However, he took it upon himself to bypass the unoccupied men's and unisex restrooms to go into and use the ladies room. Well I don't know why he did this I'd say he must have been an old pervert but who knows. All I know is the women were up in arms about this and stated he even left the toilet seat up. Therefore, the manager was prompted to post these signs on the restrooms just as a reminder. I couldn't get the picture of the men's bathroom but the sign was blue since blue is for boys according to my son. LoL.

Fortunately, that's all that I have for now. But you get the point. I'm sure come next week there will be another stupid violation that will prompt another sign to be posted somewhere. I'm expecting a sign stating "Don't cut in line at the water cooler." Or "Quiet while others are on the phone." Now I know that most of you are thinking how can you even work in an environment like that? Or that I should find a new job fast. Although I'm thankful I even have a job in these tough economic times, trust and believe that I've been trying to escape like Remy Ma. Unfortunately, I've been having the same luck that she did. LoL. But anyone with a job hook up in or around the Chicago Land area by all means holla at ya boy. I'll promptly forward my real resume to you. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Man Up!!

There are certain unwritten rules and laws that although they are not regulated should be a given. We would like to dedicate this blog to what we consider to be Man Up Rules. Each week we'll add to the list just based off of our observations and perspectives. So be sure to check back weekly. Note: Most rules apply to men/boys age 13 and older (except where noted). Also, the rules are in no particular order.


Man UP Rule #1: Two men can not share the same bed even if they are related. Whether you kickbox, arm wrestle, or play rock/paper/scisscors to see who gets the bed is up to you. But if there is a couch, chair, cot, hammock, lawn chair, or space on the floor available one must take the alternative.

Man Up Rule #2: A Man is not to ride on the back of a motorcycle or scooter ever whether a man or woman is driving, but especially not when a man is driving.

Man Up Rule #3: When using a public restroom urinal, your eyes are to remain either straight ahead staring at the wall or up at the ceiling above. But your eyes should never wander, and once you've handled your business quickly zip up, turn around and proceed to wash your hands.




Man Up Rule #4: If your wife or girlfriend drives a car that has vanity license plates that read something similar to the image below you are not to drive that car unless it is a dire emergency. Other examples of vanity plates:
"GR8 LGS" & "DLISHUS"

Man Up Rule #4: Under no circumstances are you to wear these shoes with the holes in them. It doesn't matter how comfortable these shoes may be, nor does it matter what your chosen occupation is; i.e. hospital doctors.



Man Up Rule #5: If by any chance you are looking across a crowded room and make direct eye contact with another man your only 2 options are to either look away quickly or give the universal "brotha man" head-nod.




Man Up Rule #6: The fanny pack never was and never will be an acceptable fashion statement!


Man up Rule #7: The banana is a fruit that should only be eaten when you break it up or slice it. It is never to be eaten whole! This rule also applies to lollipops, Popsicles, and anything that can resemble... Well you get the point.

Man Up Rule #8: As Tom Hanks said in A League of their Own "There's no crying in Baseball." Well this rule also applies to all other sports. Especially when you lose. The only tolerable crying would be tears of joy for a hard fought victory. Below are 2 examples of crying violations and 2 examples of acceptable tears.










Brothers' Perspective

--DrizaDre--
--C-Recks--