Testimony Tuesday

So for those of you that have yet to listen to us on The Jaded Nyer's blog radio show from last week, you have to take a listen to it. It was a very good show and it invoked a very good discussion amongst men and women. Here is the link for the show "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?". However, there was a particular part of the show where we were all discussing our pet peeves. Everyone was describing what their partner does or did that irks/irked the hell out of you in a relationship.

Well a few days after the show aired an anonymous reader/listener left a comment on our blog post. They wanted to weigh in on the whole pet peeve situation and chose to reveal theirs to us and hopefully get our opinion on their comment. We rarely receive anonymous comments so this was sort of out of the blue to us. However, since the person chose to be anonymous we decided to go ahead and reply to her in a blog. So then that spawned a whole new blog segment we will be calling "Testimony Tuesday."

So, if you have an anonymous Testimony or confession on any subject and want our opinions or that of our readers, please feel free to post an anonymous comment on our blog. It doesn't even have to be about you, it can even be a situation that someone you know is in and perhaps you just need a different perspective. Whatever the case go ahead and leave a comment or even send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com and we'll make it a part of this new blog segment. All comments and emails will remain anonymous. Just keep in mind we may make light of the situation (because that's just what we do don't take offense), but in the end we'll try to give you some real, honest, and hopefully helpful advice.

So without further ado here is our first "Testimony Tuesday"...
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Dear brothers

I've been reading & following your blog anonymously 4 a while now & I've never left a comment until now. After checking out u guys on the blog talk radio show the other night I wanted to make a comment & hopefully get your honest opinions on something. First off it was a good show & much like your blog u kept it real. So keep up the good work but right now I'm hoping you'll keep it real wit me too.

On the show when u were talking about pet peeves and what annoys u about your man/woman on the show I wanted 2 call in then but couldnt because my man was with me. I've been with my man 4 bout 2 1/2 years & we've been living together 4 the last 6months. While all is extremely well with our living together situation there is 1 thing he does that drives me nuts!!!! Now 2 some it may be petty but 2 me its become major.

My man is a bigger guy & he likes 2eat but I have no problems at all with his size itis perfectly fine wit me. But what I do have a problem with is 1 place he likes 2 eat & that's in the bed! And I don't mean in a sexual way! He literally will eat full meals snacks & deserts in the bed. I tried 2 deal with it but it got 2 a point I had 2 say something. Well that conversation didnt go over 2 well & it turned into a huge argument. The bottom line is that even after saying something he still continues 2 do it!

I love this man & feel he's the one 4 me but this is an extremely frustrating & aggravating habit of his & I dont know what 2 do 2 get him 2 quit it.

Please give me your honest opinion & please keep it 100% real as I'm at my witts end with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

--Anonymous--
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Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Well its needless to say she loves her man like a fat kid loves cake, but it seems he's definitely trying to have his cake and eat it in bed too. Lol.

**After a 1 hour pause**

CR: You get my response man?


Driza Dre: Damn man, my bad, must've had a weed flashback

DD: So my man is leaving crumbs in the bed... Well I say be happy its only cookie crumbs. Lol

CR: Lol. Clearly there are much worse problems in relationships. And although "he eats in bed and u not talking sexually" he's obviously handling his biz in that regard or she would've put him on blast even more! But my first instinct is to move the bed into the kitchen or dining room 1 day while he's gone and move the dining room table to the bedroom! Lol

CR: Or better yet start rationing out the P. That'll always make a nigga straighten up. And by P I don't mean Pudding or Peach Cobbler unless those are some of your freaky little nicknames for the P. LoL. But for real every time he eats in bed put the P on lock. Or if you're bold put a cake in the bed next to you in some sexy lingerie. Then tell him like that T.I. song and say he can have whichever he likes. Just be prepared that him and Betty Crocker may be creeping on the low and he may not choose you. Lol

DD: While he and Betty might go back a lot further, ain't no real negro gone pass up the P for the sake of eating in the bed. While this issue may seem petty to him he's still gonna be smart enough to know that he can have his snacks elsewhere, and keep the bed for his ''goodies''

CR: Aight well in all seriousness I would say she definitely needs to talk to him about it again. I'm not sure in what manner she may have approached him the first time, but if he blew up over it then it somehow must've struck a nerve. Maybe he thought she was talking about or complaining of his weight. But clearly that's not an issue, as she expressed in her comment. So maybe she needs to reassure him of that and just let him know she just prefers to keep the bed free of food.

DD: Or at minimum, just stress that she'd at least like him to clean up after himself. I figure that though he still might not appreciate her coming at him, he may oblige her by trying to be neater

CR: I'm just thinking there's gotta be a compromise here. But if not, it may be risky but put some bugs in the bed. If he sees that maybe he'll know eating in the bed is off limits. No one wants to eat with bugs nor sleep with them.

DD: That's REAL extreme. If you gotta go that far, it may be time to get rid of him

CR: Yeah its extreme but she obviously loves the man but he may just be a little extra persuasion. That is if talking to him and compromising doesn't work. But I can't see him being absolutely unreceptive if she approaches him in a kind and truly concerned manner. Unless there is really a deeper issue that is not on the surface.

DD: So you look at it like Bernie Mac: "they gotta learn, they gotta learn!"

CR: Lol. Well if this was who wants to be a millionaire my final answer would be this: Try talking to him again and see why he got upset the last time the subject came up. Maybe its something deeper and he maybe felt you were attacking his weight. And from there just reassure him by letting him know the only issue is the eating in the bed not his weight. If that doesn't work then maybe extreme is the answer. If nothing else extreme will get his attention at how serious the issue is to you. If you 2 have been together as long as you have and love each other as much as you say then I have no doubts that you will get past this. I predict he will compromise and the only eating in the bed won't leave any crumbs behind, at least we hope. Lol

DD: As my brother discussed on the radio show, you have to pick your battles. Assess if the crumbs in bed is really that major. If it is, then you may need to take drastic measures to bring him around to your way of thinking. If its not that major, then approach the subject in a manner that's more of a suggestion than a Relationship death nail. And just maybe in the end, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Lol
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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any tips or helpful advice to Anonymous please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post.

--DrizaDre--

--C-Recks--

Cereal Killer

So just like any given weekend my son is here with me. I will admit that he's a very picky eater. But he does get it honest. So when breakfast time rolls around and he's given the usual choices for breakfast, you never know what exactly he will choose. Well this morning he chose to have cereal. However, my son chooses to eat his cereal dry no milk. But will take a cup of juice on the side. Don't ask me why, but like I said the boy is a picky eater. Well this morning I decided to join him in a bowl of cereal. But as I was eating I asked myself a question that I have asked before. Am I too old to be eating some damn cereal?

I mean I've never seen any age restrictions on a box of cereal. But this morning as I was eating my cereal, I sat and thought should a grown ass man really be eating Fruity Pebbles? I mean just the name of the cereal alone doesn't sound like anything a grown ass man should be associated with. I guess Fruit Loops fits this same category. LOL. Now that's not necessarily my favorite cereal, but it's what we had in the cupboard at the time. I mean I very rarely will even eat breakfast at all. But the very few times I eat cereal, I will admit that I have a very strange way of eating my cereal. I'll break down how it works.

While most do the typical pour cereal in the bowl and add milk then eat, I choose a different approach. See my main goal in eating cereal is to avoid it getting soggy. I don't know about anyone else but soggy cereal is probably one of the most disgusting things there is. I have never liked it since a kid. I can't even watch someone else eat soggy cereal. And I hated when I got told "You better finish your cereal before you get up from the table" especially after it got soggy. Why someone has not invented a way to keep a cereal from going soggy behooves me to this day. I found this supposed "invention" online called the "New Angle Cereal Bowl" that's supposed to eliminate the cereal from getting soggy. You can watch the video of the commercial for yourself, but it seems very suspect to me. My version of eating cereal does the exact same thing if you ask me.

But anyways I digress. Back to my cereal eating process.

Step 1: Add Milk to bowl.

Step 2: Bring bowl with milk and spoon and box of cereal to table.

Step 3: Pour a small amount of cereal into the milk.

Step 4: Quickly begin to eat the cereal.

Step 5: After cereal in bowl is gone repeat steps 3, 4 and 5 until the milk is all gone.

Again, I admit that it's a weird process to eat a bowl of cereal but it eliminates the chance of it getting soggy. Small amounts of cereal poured in at a time limit this from happening. I will also admit that for this reason, when I eat cereal I don't really get to enjoy it. I feel like it's a race against time. I have to devour what's in the bowl before it gets soggy. This is one of the reasons I choose to eat cereal alone. Well there is another reason, but that is probably equally as strange. For some reason I can not sit and eat cereal with another person. Don't judge me. I will attempt to explain and plead my sanity case a little further. LoL.

I can remember being younger and at breakfast time my brother would sit across from me. But for some reason listening to him eat cereal just got on my damn nerves. I mean I'm so far from being the morning person. Therefore, already waking up being irritated and hearing him slurp down a bowl of cereal made me want to toss my bowl across the table at him. Sorry Bro, but it's true. LoL. If you asked he will probably admit that he felt the exact same about me when it came to cereal eating. I guess cereal is just not a quiet enough food to eat.

Lastly, I'm curious has anyone else ever done this nasty mess here. I remember my bro and I being at my cousins house. Now it was about 4 of them at the time so imagine a house full of 6 kids ranging from ages 5-10. Well when breakfast time came just like all little kids we wanted cereal. Well just like that scene in the movie Friday, we all poured up big bowls of cereal. And of course we go to the fridge for milk and there is none. Well we were all pretty broke in those days and we were told there would be no milk for this breakfast. I can't recall the culprit, but I have a clue. But someone yelled out I'm eating mines with water and proceeded to pour up. WTF? Water? I was going to eat mines dry like my son, but that ruined my entire appetite there. LoL. In an effort to keep the not snitching streak going I won't mention any names.

Well I don't know if me occasionally enjoying a bowl or 5 of cereal constitutes juvenile behavior but if so then it is what it is. If I could enjoy breakfast in bed (which I recently had. ;-) LoL) on the daily with pancakes, eggs, and bacon then I would stray away from cereal. But until then I will surely be enjoying a bowl of cereal every now and then. Not to mention I'm not a milk drinker so eating cereal allows my minimal amount of calcium intake. LoL. In closing gotta give a shout out to a few of my favorites.

Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Fruit Loops, Honey Comb, and Golden Grahams. Oh and I found this one quite interesting. Obama O's. LoL. It's a damn shame, but someone's probably buying this mess. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen #2/3

So if you read in my first Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen post I explained how and why I don't cook. If you didn't get to read it click the link. But basically I told myself that I was going to try and start cooking more this year. I would say that the first meal was a success and I got no complaints from my date. To be honest I definitely didn't expect to have cooked meal #2 & 3 in less than a month. My original goal with the starting to cook more was 1 meal per month. Considering how much I normally cook (never) I figured this would be a hell of a step up.

The opportunity for meal #2 presented itself out of the blue. The same lovely lady that braved my first meal found herself feeling ill a few weeks ago. Well I had the bright idea to take her some chicken noodle soup and orange juice. What better to make her feel better. Then I thought cool I saw Campbell's was on sale that week $1 for big cans (possibilities!! LoL). But then I thought about it. Wouldn't it be extra special if I made her this soup? Having never even thought to take on such a task, I immediately hit up my cooking mentor. She replied that she had a chicken noodle soup recipe for me and would help me out. Therefore, I committed myself to cooking this meal.

After hitting up the mentor throughout the day I unfortunately was getting no response. So when 5pm came I was blowing her phone up like a man smoking at a gas pump (Which I saw recently btw. I see the wildest stuff sometimes. LoL). Now I was on a time constraint and had to have this soup there by a certain time. So when I realized that I was going to have no help I was left with a couple of choices. 1.) Go with the Campbell's Soup option 2.) Cook this meal all by myself, 3.) Just abandon the whole idea and make up an excuse. Perhaps I got sick myself. LoL.

Well after much comptemplating I actually chose option 2. First, I found a recipe online that 'seemed' to be pretty easy. Then I rushed to the store for the ingredients and then rushed back to start cooking. I swear I cut up so many damn vegetables it was ridiculous. Lol. Although time was an issue, I was somehow able to cook the soup, and deliver it. She was very surprised and appreciative of the soup, crackers and orange juice. When she ate it she said that it was good and with that meal #2 was also a success. My mentor had run into some technical difficulties but was proud that I proceeded without her assistance. I am leaving out plenty of details and how nervous I was (which I never am) when trying to pull this one off. However, the results of meal #2 can be seen below.

(Menu: Homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers, and Orange Juice [not pictured])

Meal #3 came about just a couple of days ago. This time there was no special occasion, just another visit/date. The mentor helped me come up with a quick/easy meal that I could prepare after work in time for her arrival. Although I did get talked through this meal I will admit that it came a little more natural than the first 2. It seems as if I am definitely getting a little more comfortable after each meal. This meal turned out great. My date (my new default taste tester) really enjoyed this one and even asked for my recipe. My response was, I couldn't divulge this old family secret, but I can show you her how to make it. LoL.

I had more of the ingredients for this meal left over the next day. So just to show you how comfortable I'm actually getting with cooking, when I came home from work I cooked this same meal again for dinner just for myself. Also, I took what was left to work with me today for lunch. Now I won't count that as meal #4, but I will say that this meal is officially mastered and in my mental book of recipes. See the pictures below.

(Menu: Buffalo chicken wraps, chips & salsa, and Bahama Mamas to drink).

Now I can't promise 3 more meals within a months time; however, with the way things are going I could be up to 1 meal per week sooner than we expect. That's it for me. Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend.

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen

I like to consider myself to be a man of many talents. Some I utilize daily, while others just every once and a while. And of course like every one there are some things I am not too good at. So with that said, there is something I have something to admit. This may shock some of you, but I'll explain in further detail as you keep reading. So here's it is [cue dramatic music]...

I don't Cook!

Yes I know a shocker right? LoL. So you're probably thinking 1 of 2 things. Do I not cook because I don't know how to or because I am just lazy? Well I would say it is a little combination of the 2. Whenever asked whether I can cook I always reply "just the basics." So that means your basic chicken, fried or baked and any ready made meals involving browning ground beef. Also, Breakfast items: pancakes, french toast, eggs, etc. So you get it just the basics. As basic as those meals are I honestly won't even cook them.

As for my admitted laziness, I feel I have a right to be. I get up every morning and slave for the man. When I get off work I want to do 2 things, and neither involves slaving over a hot stove. First, I want to relax and second I want a nice cold beer to sip on. I know it's pretty sad (don't judge me. Lol). Even though I may not look like it, what's even sadder is that I love to eat. LoL. However, if I have to get up and cook it, 9 times out of 10 it's just not going to happen. Thank God for fast food. For further clarification here's my schedule. During the week I'm a single bachelor and as long as there is a nearby restaurant I will definitely eat. Now on the weekends I have my son. But not to worry he's not subjected to scarfing down the fast food that I normally eat. On the weekends my mom pays a visit and my son and I both get some good ol' home cookin'. Trust me he should be grateful for grandmothers, I've also tasted his mom's cooking. LoL. So as you can see there's a good balance for the most part. Lol.

Now if you want to know how often I cook let me share this funny story. About a year ago my brother was in town. Me him and my mom were at my place. Prior to getting off of work and they called me asking me to pick up some buns for some Sloppy Joe's they were making. So, as I come in from work I grab my brew and chill for a few minutes and watch TV with my mom and bro. They were pretty into whatever they were watching. Normally I would wait for one of them to cook, but for some reason that day I was hungrier than average and was ready to eat.

Determined not to starve, I got up and went to the kitchen. The ground beef was already out. So I threw it in the pan and started to brown the meat. Well about 5 minutes later the meat starts to sizzle. That's when I hear my brother from the living room "What are you doing Man!?!" I yelled back "I'm making these Sloppy Joe's man." The next thing I know my mom starts busting up laughing. So I step out of the kitchen and ask them "what's so funny?" My mom has a big smile on her face and my brother is sort of shaking his head in defeat. My mom says "we'll tell you once you finish cooking."

So I finished browning the meat, added the Sloppy Joe mix, a little seasoning, and it was done. I grabbed some buns and made me a couple Sloppy Joe sandwiches. After I finished eating they began to explain the laughter. Apparently they had made a bet. (Keep in mind competition and betting is somehow embedded in us). The bet was that I wouldn't cook at least 3 meals by my next birthday. My mom was betting for me while my brother bet against me. The bet had been going on I believe since like September of that year 2007. Well prior to this Sloppy Joe meal my mom had gained a significant advantage. Thanksgiving 2007 we all cooked separate dishes. I tried to get out of it, but my mom persuaded me to make the dressing (see pic to left). Then when Christmas came around the following month I made the macaroni & cheese and the dressing again. Therefore, when I began making the Sloppy Joe's I clenched the win for my mom. Moms was able to double up on a previous $20 bet with my brother winning her $40 because of that meal. LoL.

Well fast forward to 2009. I'm not really a New Year's resolution type person, so I don't write down what I want to do throughout the new year. However, I make small mental notes of things I want to accomplish and or do in the new year. I find it easier for me especially in case I don't them done. That way I don't have that list staring at me daily come the end of the year. So I made a mental note to perhaps, maybe, possibly start cooking more. LoL. Then a couple weeks ago I watched one of Darius' Every Day Cookin' videos. Wow!! All I can say is he make it all look so easy and beyond appetizing. I was dead set on trying it out. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. But I figured maybe one of these days. LoL.

Well that day came much sooner than expected. After I recently told a friend about an upcoming date, she suggested that I cook for my date. It took some convincing and encouraging, but she got me to do it. She even coached me through the process via phone. The result? Well despite my apprehension at first, you can see for yourself below the meal turned out fine. No burns or mishaps. Also, it tasted good. My date concurred that the meal was good as well. She also suggested that I could cook for her again. LoL. So overall I say it was a success!! So, with my first meal of the year in the books hopefully # 2 will be even better. I'll keep you guys updated.

Menu: Bow Tie Chicken Pasta, Steamed Broccoli & Garlic Toast.

White Merlot Wine.

Special Thanks to my chef mentor! LoL.

--C-Recks-- aka The Ghetto Chef Cor R D. LoL

Man Up!!! Part 11

We took a break from last Friday's Man Ups for a little vacation. But we're back and from that vacation came back with a few new Man Ups thanks to the Taste of Madison. But here we go it's time to Man Up!!! Remember this blog represents what we consider to be Man Up Rules. So, each week we'll add to the list just based off of our observations and perspectives. So be sure to check back weekly. Note: Most rules apply to men/boys age 13 and older (except where noted). Also, the rules are in no particular order.

Man Up Rule #40:

A man should never feed another man food. I don't care if the man hasn't eaten in over a week, has no arms or is in a pair of handcuffs and is hungry. You better tell him to open up wide while you use the the spoon as a catapult and fling it into his mouth. Other than that his ass will starve to death. LoL. A pass does go to old men incapable of feeding themselves, but have served as real men for at least 60+ years.

Man Up Rule #41:

When you walk into a restaurant or store they usually have a sign that says no shirt, no shoes, no service. Well the no shirt rule applies here as well. If we're not in a setting that requires no shirt such as the beach, swimming, a game of basketball, in a sauna etc. then don't talk to me unless you put on a shirt. You don't have anything I want to see and I don't want someone else seeing me from a distance to even think my eyes are averting from your face. Either put on a shirt or get out of my damn face!! LoL.

Man Up Rule #42:

We previously discussed earrings on Man Up Rule #29. Well if you were one of those men that got your tongue pierced back in say the late 90's to early 2000's you get a pass on this violation. We understand it was the whole phenomenon behind it and you were early adopters. But if you're a man in today's times knowing what getting your tongue pierced signifies then you're in direct violation of a Man Up Rule. Take that mess out of your tongue right now!! LoL. Image #1 below would be a double violation: Don't stick your tounge out when you're that close to another man!

To Be Continued...

Brothers' Perspective

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Bad to the Phone

In the blog Nanny Government my brother mentioned the recent implementation of the hand held cell phone ban in the State of California. Now here in the city of Chicago, Illinois the law has been in place for a couple years already. I'm not one to break many laws but this is one law that I just can't seem to abide by. Recently, someone told me that text messaging while driving is also illegal and you can be ticketed for it just like you can talking on your hand held cell phone.

Now I do have a bluetooth head set. However, I honestly don't talk on the phone that much to even use it. Others that are on the phone a frequent amount of time usually just walk around with their bluetooth in their ear. But I don't. Therefore, if I happen to get a call or need to make a call while driving I will use my hand set. As for text messaging, well that's the purpose of even having the type of phone that I have which is a Side Kick 3. It is designed specifically for text messaging. The qwerty keyboard actually resembles that of a real keyboard. Also, the calling plan I have comes with unlimited text messages. The fact is I'm more likely to send a text message than make a phone call.

According to GSHA.org many of the states have used crash data to back up their reasons for having a ban on handheld cell phones. Therefore, I am not disputing the fact that the laws exist or whether or not driving and talking on a hand held cell phone is dangerous or not. I'm simply stating my case. I'm speaking for myself. This is how I would present my case if I ever got ticketed and had to go to court for using my cell phone and or text messaging.

First of all your honor that's a nice robe you have on. I know it's officially after Labor Day but does that come in white? LoL. I'm just kidding. Well as you know I was ticketed for driving while text messaging. I understand why the law is in place and by no means am I stating that I am above the law. However, I want to let the record show that me text messaging while driving is not at all a distraction to me operating my motor vehicle.

I'm sure you're wondering how is that possible? Well when I use my phone to send a text I don't have to look at the keyboard in order to type. The qwerty keyboard is exactly like a computer keyboard. I sit at a desk all day at work typing on a computer. So I know the location of the keys by memory. If you would like can demonstrate this for you. Now you're probably thinking that's fine that you don't have to look at the phone while you text but how do you drive when your hands are on your phone and not the steering wheel?

Well I'm glad you asked because I also have another unique talent that I can utilize while driving. I have the ability to drive/steer the car with my knee. I used to watch my father do this when I was younger and was fascinated by it. So it was only a matter of time until after years of driving that my brother and I were able to pick up on this nifty trick. Now I know you're probably picturing me driving with my knee and sending a text message and thinking OMG you're going to kill someone or yourself. But actually it's very safe if you know what you're doing. See my left knee steers the vehicle while my right foot covers the brake/gas.

Again, I can only speak for myself when I say I can safely and effectively operate a vehicle in this manner. Simply put I am a multi-tasker by nature and have the ability to do many things at once. Therefore, this ticket that I received stating I was driving while distracted is actually incorrect and should be overturned. In fact, I believe that there are things that distract drivers far more often than a cell phone. Also, those things could potentially cause accidents more frequent than using a cell phone while driving. I'd like to call into evidence a number of these items just to prove my point.

Exhibit A - Watching Porn

Now some may be thinking why would watching porn be a distraction while you're driving? Or you may be thinking that you have to be a damn freak to be watching porn while you're driving. Well when I say porn I'm not referring to watching it in my car. First of all I have no TVs in my car. Second of all it's definitely not that serious. However, those individuals that do think it's that serious should be required to tint their windows. The distraction comes in when you pull up behind them. And of course you're going to automatically be intrigued as to what their watching. Once you find out it's porn the likelihood of you trying to watch is inevitable. So the next thing you know you find yourself tailgating the car in front of you just to watch their TV. But as soon as they hit their brakes BAM!! you plow into their bumper.

Exhibit B - Eating

I remember once my mom told me that she was once riding somewhere with my brother. As he was driving he pulled out a plate of food to eat. Now finger food is one thing but apparently this was a Thanksgiving style plate of food. One that required a fork to eat. She described it as him holding the plate in one hand, the fork in the other, and driving with his knee. The ironic part was he happen to be driving a stick shift. Yet he was able to drive to perfection doing all that. However, there are others that are not as skilled. Therefore even eating a simple hamburger and fries can be a distraction. So, imagine someone driving along eating their lunch and as they take a bite of that burger ketchup squirts out onto their nice suit. The immediate reaction will be to look down and in that split second CRASH!! there is another rear end accident.

Exhibit C - Grooming

When people are running late for work in the morning they're liable to do any and everything thing to save time. Most of the time saving activities involve grooming of some sort. Anything from shaving, to teeth brushing, to hair combing. However, I must fault you ladies for this last distraction. Putting on make up while driving! Now come on. I've seen women take forever to put on make up in the bath room mirror. Not to mention it seems to take the precision of a surgeon to apply some of that stuff. How in the world you put on mascara without poking your damn eye out is beyond me. But the point is that there can be no way you can apply make up in the rear view or visor mirror and drive safely. That's just an accident waiting to happen.

Exhibit D -Pretty Women

Now of course I have no problem with pretty women by any stretch of the imagination. But any guy (straight guys that is) will have to admit that when pretty women will always be a distraction. It doesn't matter if they're driving in the car next to you, walking down the street, or if they happen to be your passenger. The point is that when a guy sees a pretty girl he will look and even stare if it can go unnoticed. I've seen guys (myself included) damn near break they neck to look at a good looking female that they drove past. I've also literally seen guys hang out the car window to look at, whistle at, and holla at a female. So bottom line is that good looking females are definitely a distraction to a male driver.

Exhibit E - Billboards

I know that the purpose of billboards are to grab attention. But most billboards are strategically placed along side highways. However, I will admit some are pretty distracting to drivers. I've seen plenty of billboards that caught my attention. The problem with some is that you have to do some reading to figure out what the billboard is advertising. So imagine traveling 65+ miles per hour and then passing a billboard that caught your eye and trying to figure out what it is says. Exactly!! It will take a lot of concentration. Also, it will divert your eyes from the road for a good amount of time. And if I was driving on this road and saw this billboard of Beyonce in a bikini I'd probably smash into the median trying to look at this sign. LoL.

Exhibit F - Bad Ass Kids

There is probably nothing worse than or more aggravating than a car full of kids. Now if those kids happen to be bad ass kids it's enough do "drive" any one crazy. But when you have 2 kids fighting, another crying, then another throwing stuff at you in the drivers seat I'd say that makes for a distraction. Some skilled/long armed parents have the ability to lay hands on their children (not in the biblical sense) while still being able to drive safely. But other than that you're probably one scream or cry away from slamming on the brakes and taking off your belt.

So, there you have it your honor. If you are going to ticket me for what you consider a distraction to my driving then I would say that you need to start ticketing me and every one else for things that are an even bigger distraction. The things I mentioned are only a few of probably many more that I could name. But you get the gist of what I'm saying. I throw myself on the mercy of the court and ask that this ticket be overturned. I rest my case.

Guilty or Not Guilty? Was my argument convincing enough? You be the judge. LoL

--C-Recks--