Dollars and Sense

I don't know about any of you, but I am no economist. As a matter of fact, I'm not really that great with money. So it makes it somewhat difficult to completely understand the current circumstances that our country's economy finds itself in. I listened to the press conference given by President Obama on Monday, and as much as I root for Obama to succeed as the President, I couldn't really get with his economic stimulus plan. I mean, the last number that I heard about the bill is that it would cost us around 750 billion dollars. Some of that is to jump start the economy, but there's no guarantee that it will work. According to Vice-President Joe Biden, if we do everything right, there's still a 30% chance that all of the money that we're committing to spending will have no positive effect. That's no good. I mean, if you spend 750 billion dollars, you expect that it will drastically improve your current circumstances.

I heard a little bit of math that will show just how much money 750 billion dollars is. If you were to spend one million dollars a day on every day that has existed since Jesus walked the Earth, you still wouldn't have spent 750 billion dollars. Here's the math. Its 2009, but Jesus died at the age of 33. So its been 1,976 years since then. A million dollars spent every day for a years is 365 million. Multiply that times 1,976, and you come up with $721,240,000,000. Tack on another 494 million dollars to compensate for those extra February 29ths, and you have a grand total of 721 billion, 734 million dollars. Almost 30 billion less than what the stimulus plan calls for. I don't know about you, but when you talk about that kind of math, I'm gonna say that it should have better than a 70% chance of success.

Now I know that some of you are gonna say that Bush asked for nearly the same amount for the TARP fund. (Troubled Assets Relief Program). And though I wasn't exactly in favor of handing out that money, it was on a slightly different scale. As I understand it, the TARP money that has been given out is money that at some point and time, when the banks become profitable again, the Government will be repaid that money. Now don't get me wrong, getting money from the Government is like "borrowing" $100 from your mother. Yes you technically owe her, but if you only give her back say $50, and it takes two months for her to get that, its not like she's gonna send Barry Bonds to take out your knees with one swing. (By the way mom, I know I still owe you, just give me a little more time. Lol). Same thing with the government. As all of this was presented to us on Monday, I also was struck by how unsure President Obama seemed about the whole ordeal. I mean, the brotha is usually cool, calm, and well spoken on matters. To me, it seemed like he was just as unsure, and at a loss about the whole mess. That's not a major problem per se, but the President of the United States is like the coach of a football team. Right now the US is down by 30 at halftime, and that speech was supposed to inspire us to come out and take it to the opponent in the second half. Well, what I gathered from his speech is that we're probably gonna lose. Hell, I almost would have appreciated it more if Barack would've just said "Look, things are bad. Bad to a degree that I can't really comprehend. Now I know that you guys elected me to fix the problem. In turn, I have chosen the best in the business. And I believe in these people. I can't tell you everything that they're gonna do, because much of it is beyond my understanding. But I guarantee you that we're gonna take care of this". Now I know that saying something like that is beyond the scope of most politicians, but it would have made me more confident that we could actually erase this 30 point halftime deficit.

So that's just my take on the current economic crisis. A part of me feels that though things are bad, they're no worse than anything we've faced in the past. The difference is that we as a country have made significant improvement in our quality of life since we last found ourselves in similar circumstances. And though we don't want to admit it, we really screwed up by buying $40,000 cars, and $500,000 homes on student loan inflated $35,000 salaries. Its gonna hurt people, but maybe this is exactly what we needed to get back to living the "right" kind of lives.

-DrizaDre-

I Beg Your Pardon

We have all seen them at some point. Some people fear them, while others detest them and wish they'd go away. Some people even laugh at them, but many more feel sorry for them. It doesn't matter if it's day time or night. They walk amongst us every day. Nor does it matter if it's downtown, in the city, in the ghettos, or the suburbs. They are every where. Although they are not extraordinarily abundant in numbers, you can't seem to avoid them. Whether you're walking down the street, coming out of the store, or even driving in your car. The "signs" of their presence is apparent. Regardless of how you feel about them they're not going anywhere.


By now you're probably all curious as to who or what I am talking about. Well if you haven't yet figured it out this blog is dedicated to the Homeless. Also known as bums, panhandlers, and hobos.

The homeless are the poorest of the poor. So poor that in some instances, they have no choice but to live outdoors even in cold climates. So poor that they're only income and or meals usually come from begging. It is very sad when a person becomes homeless and has no roof over their head or food to eat. I am actually one of the individuals that at times feels sorry for these individuals especially when they are children or disabled. We can debate all day about the homeless and the role the government should play in helping to assist them. But that's not what I'm focusing on. In this blog I want to discuss the panhandling tactics of some homeless individuals.


Although I do empathize with the homeless, I guess the skeptic in me won't always allow me to give to the homeless panhandlers. I guess bottom line I don't always trust my hard earned change is going to food or shelter or whatever they've told me they need the money for. In fact, I have the perfect example. One cold winter night I was in the hood and I had a taste for White Castle's chicken rings. So, I stopped at the drive through. As I'm placing my order a homeless man comes up to the car and said "If you have any change after you pay can you help me out with getting something to eat?" Now again, anyone that knows me knows I'm a big skeptic (Ask my cousin about Cris Angel. LoL). However, since he mentioned food and it was cold out I felt I should help him out. So, I went ahead and ordered my chicken rings, an order of fries, and a White Castle's Burger aka a slider. So, I proceed to window 2 and pay and receive my food. As I get ready to pull off the man is waiting right there after the window 2. As I drive past I reach in my bag, roll down my window, and hand the man the burger.


Now I can't calculate how much change I would have had without buying that burger but it's safe to say that a $0.59 cent white castle burger was about equivalent, and possibly a little more. Well as I hand this man the burger I have the slight feeling that I've done something good. Not really to better the world but at least in this man's life for right now. But that feeling quickly turned to anger when I noticed the look on the man's face as I handed him the burger. The look on his face was almost in disgust that I gave him food as opposed to money. He just looked at me and didn't even say thank you. I was comptemplating going snatching my burger back. But I was so pissed that I said "yeah you're welcome" and just rolled up my window and quickly sped off.


I don't know about any of you, but the 2 things I hate wasting the most are time and money. I was upset that I wasted my money on this homeless man. Some may be thinking it's only $0.59 cents what's the big deal? Well the change I spent won't make or break me but it's really a matter of principal. That change could have gone into my son's piggy bank like the rest of my change usually does. But no I wasted it on a burger for someone that didn't even appreciate my effort. I hate to sound cliche but "beggars can't be choosers!!" No pun intended of course.


But that's just one experience, but I can't lie it definitely didn't make it any easier for another homeless person to get my spare change out of me. Likewise, I saw a segment on an episode of Manswers on Spike TV that had to do with professional begging. In that segment I saw some statistics that made me damn near blow a gasket. It stated that some professional beggars can earn up to $49 an hour, $300 a day, and even $78,000 a year. I was floored to think that as hard as I work it would take me almost twice as long to earn what some of the top professional beggars do. After hearing this story I was done with helping panhandlers. That 50 cents can stay in my own pocket as opposed to helping someone live better than me for free. Watch the video below.

However, there are some homeless individuals that I would consider giving to. For instance, here in Chicago a lot of the homeless will sell a newspaper called The Defender. This is a homeless publication and I believe the proceeds go to help the homeless. Now I don't have a problem giving these guys a buck from time to time. At least they're working for their money, and at least I get a newspaper for my dollar. Also, the homeless that will clean your window I sometimes don't mind giving money. Again they're working for their money. If my window is dirty and they're willing to clean it for some change then it's a fair enough deal. But I will admit that I do hate when they just come up to your car without asking and clean the windshield then expect some money. No one gave you permission to clean my window man. Maybe I wanted that bird crap stain to stay there for a while.

The bottom line is that if they're trying to get money out of me they have to do much more than just hold out a cup or tell me a sob story. In addition, just holding up a sign saying something like "Homeless please help. God Bless" isn't good enough for me either. Perhaps some of you would/will give based on these things and God Bless you for that. However, I'm talking about me here. You want this change you better come with it. LoL. I mean if you're at the strip club and a girl just stands there in front of you and doesn't even take off her clothes or dance is that enough to make you want to make it rain? Well maybe some of ya'll but not me LoL. I worked hard for this money so you're going to have to convince me that it's worth my dollar is all I'm saying. It's no different than any other transaction. Again, no pun intended but maybe they need to try to think "out of the box." LoL. But, I took the time to find a bunch of panhandling signs that are all very unique. I've commented below on them and explained how much I would give and why.

This is a very creative sign. Very colorful and attention getting. The caption is actually funny. I love how they wrote out vibrator as if the letters themselves are vibrating. I'm not too sure if I empathize with the guy though. And I'm not down with contributing to someone else's inner freak especially if I don't benefit. LoL. Maybe he should have included a picture of his wife. If she's ugly then I can understand him wanting to get her a new vibrator asap. LoL. But just based on the comedy factor I'd give him 50 cents. $1-$2 if he could produce a picture of an ugly wife. LoL.

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a gambling man. So I wouldn't be able to resist taking this guy up on his bet. I'd bet about $1. He doesn't look that fast and his knee looks to be injured so I would even be willing to give him 2:1 odds on this bet. But I believe in paying up on bets so if I lose I would definitely pay up and even let him keep the quarter. I'm sure it's probably a scam though. I would get ready to throw the quarter and his ass would be dodging quarters like The Matrix. LoL. But if I did win I couldn't see taking his money. But I would let him keep the winning quarter for being a good sport.

Man this guy has my attention already. I feel him 100%. I have been there before. When my divorce finalized I had to give up the house I had bought, fixed up and lived in for almost 5 years to my ex-wife. I was essentially homeless. Thank God my grandmother let me crash on her couch for a few weeks until I found me a new place to live. But when I think back I also thank God I had a job because if I had neither I would have been homeless for real. So to this guy I'd give him at least $5 just because I feel his pain. As the song says sometimes it's "cheaper to keep her." LoL.

This is another comical sign. We all know the story behind New York Governor Elliot Spitzer and his prostitution bust. I'm assuming this guy is in New York. So if I was in New York and saw this guy and his sign I'd give him at least $0.60 just for the laugh. I would give more but I'm not trying to contribute to his prostitution addiction especially not at that astronomical price. If I had a condom in my wallet I would throw that in the plate as well. He will need it if he ever reaches his goal.

First off is it just me or does this guy bare an eerie resemblance to the late great Issac Hayes? Well as for his sign. Depending on how my day has been going I may have to take him up on his offer and tell him off for $2. So for $2 I'd go ahead and get my vent on. First off are you hot or cold? I mean you have a leather coat with the fur on the collar but yet you have no shirt on under it and the coat is unzipped. So make up your damn mind!! Put on a shirt and cover up that taco meat on your chest. Next, get a job stop begging and work for your money!! Lastly, wake yo ass up!! LoL. I mean what have you done to make you so damn tired? It's not like you just worked a 9-5 so you have no reason to be sleep in the middle of the day. And put on some socks man!! Okay I feel better now. That was actually worth my $2. Thanks.

Well if you've ever read any of my blogs and their titles then you know that I like to use the play on words. So this sign is right up my alley. First off the guy is a big guy so he definitely looks as if he can get his eat on. So, just off the funny factor of the sign I would be willing to give him about a buck for a burger or something. He definitely doesn't look to have missed too many meals so his sign must be working. Also, is it me or is he dressed like he works at a Target? I don't know he could be suspect. Maybe he's just on his lunch break and forgot his lunch or something. I would have to pull the sign back if I see a name tag he gets nothing from me. I'm not giving anything to someone that is gainfully employed.

Okay I'm going to walk lightly on this one because I know the secret service may be reading. All I must say is that this man has some balls. So I admire his boldness. However, he was smart enough to make sure his face was blurred out of this pic. But to even whisper those words like the Ying Yang Twins can get your ass locked up if the wrong person hears you. I'm not even going to type them. The picture is clearly not of a black man so to the C.I.A. it's not me. I don't know the date of this picture but if it was recent he wouldn't get anything from me Bush will be out soon anyway. But just for saying what I'm sure a lot of Americans want to say. I'm not saying me personally for Big Brother that's watching. But to this guy I'd give him about $3 buck for his boldness alone.

Now this is another bold move. However, if I was driving along this road I'd have to thank this guy. Apparently the Sheriff's Department are doing some sort of traffic sting and this guy is giving motorist a fair warning to be prepared. So now you can slow down, buckle up, and toss any illegal drugs or guns in the stash spot. If you were ticketed for speeding or no seat belt you're looking at a ticket of at least $25 or more. And if you're riding dirty well you already know that's going to cost you your freedom. Therefore, just on potentially saving me money I'd give this guy $5. And his friend at least a dollar I'm feeling the shirt (see blog entitled 9-1-1 Is a Joke). LoL .

I don't know if this was a shameless plug or what. But I tried to put in this website address and got nothing. So maybe he was just trying to be creative. However, I'm not trying to be funny but he should have put http://www.spareteeth.com/. I see him needing that more than the change. Maybe the tooth fairy will fly past and drop something off in ya boys' cup. LoL. But he seems to be in good spirits about his situation so I would help him out with a dollar.

Okay finally!! This is what I been waiting for. Finally a panhandler that's keeping it real. No sob story here about being down on his luck or nothing to eat. He's putting it out there that he's trying to get money for not just beer, but also pot, and a hooker. Well if I came out of the liquor store from buying a case of beer and saw this sign I'd help him out. One ice cold beer from my case. About $0.75 value. Just a token of my appreciation for this man not wasting my time with a bullshit story in order to get my spare change. Enjoy the ice cold refreshing beer my friend. You'll have to get someone else to help you out with the hookers and weed.

Okay this guy is really going to the extremes to get his panhandle on. I have 2 problems with this guy's tactics. First, this guy is out of order for portraying himself as Jesus.
The robe and collection plate are way too much. Secondly, this sign is way too extreme. It's bad enough I have to worry about eternal damnation when I'm in church and pass the collection plate without contributing. But now I got this guy out on the street trying to condemn me to hell fire if I don't give to him. This guy wouldn't get a dime from me. If you read my blog (E-Mail and Text Forwards) I don't respond to scare tactics especially dealing with Hell. LoL. Also, being a black man white Jesus doesn't scare me much anyways. So, if his collection plate passed my way I'd most likely drop some chicken bones in it like Arsenio Hall on Coming To America. LoL.





So you mean to tell me someone kidnapped your wife and demanded a large ransom or they would harm your wife? Then you scraped and collected all this money to give for the ransom and when you counted it you were exactly $0.98 cents short? Man get the hell outta here. LoL. Even if that was the case if you're going to hold a sign that says your wife was kidnapped then you may as well have gone to the police. Then they would be handling the kidnapping and negotiations so you wouldn't have to be out begging for $0.98 cents. Although I give him props for attempting to be creative, he didn't think his story out well enough for him to get any money out of me. If his wife was really kidnapped I may let him use my phone to call 9-1-1 that's about it.






Hey doesn't this guy look familiar? And wait doesn't the sign look familiar too? I think it's our friend with the kidnapped wife. It's obviously a different day as he's changed clothes. Hey look even his sign has changed. He now needs $0.99 as opposed to the $0.98 cents he needed on the sign before. So did he somehow lose a penny during his attempt to scrape up the ransom money? Oh I get it, the kidnappers called and decided that the ransom wasn't high enough and decided to up it by a whole penny right? Man get this sign out of my face! I didn't fall for it the first time and now that I see you again with the same sign you're definitely not getting even that penny from me.





This sign is a nice attempt of this guy to be clever. However, the one thing he's not thinking about is that on every alcoholic beverage there is a disclaimer from the Government. "(1)According to The Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems." So in other words if you drink you will get drunk and your liver will look like a raisin in the sun if you drink too much. So the Government has done all the research necessary on alcohol and they don't need your help. Nice try though. You get an E for effort, but no money from me.

Now this sign is funny for a couple of reasons. First, I'm picturing big man here in a tight karate
outfit trying to learn kung-fu. Next, I'm trying to imagine a bunch of ninjas coming to the hood to kill this guys' family. I've been to enough hoods to know that even trained ninjas won't go there. So, if a group of individuals wearing all black killed his family I guarantee they weren't ninjas. Now if you subtract the nj from ninjas and add gg in it's place then the sign would be much more believable to me. I know I'm joking about someone's family being killed but I'm following his lead he's the one with smiley faces on the sign. I got a good laugh on this one $0.60 cents from me.

Another keeping it real sign. "Why lie I need a beer." Truer words could not have been spoken. I have to feel him on this one. Who doesn't need a beer from time to time? Again, if I had a beer on me I would definitely be willing to share with this man. Plus it looks hot out so I'm sure the cold beer would cool him off.

Again this guy is keeping it real. However, beer is one thing. I'm not going to support someone's drug habit. I know you're probably like you'll help destroy someone's liver but not their brain from drugs. Well yes it's a double standard but I have that right to choose where my money goes. I'm not forcing the beer down the man's throat. LoL. But back to this sign. I like the fact he is admitting he's not even homeless. If I were homeless and saw his sign I'd come over there and kick his ass. He's taking away from me being able to eat when he just wants to get high.

So the moral to this story a panhandler must be clever and creative to maximize their opportunity for getting money, especially from me. But hell, if a top notch professional beggar can make $78,000 a year then I'm definitely in the wrong profession. I am actually in the process of looking for a new job. So, Don't be surprised if you're walking downtown one day and you see me holding a "Will Rap For Food" sign. I'll have a portable CD player playing my debut CD "Ripped from the Headlines" and have copies of the album for sale (album coming soon, shameless plug I know). But at least I'll be selling you something and not just begging. But for real if you see your boy out there show me a little bit of support. Even if you don't buy a cd I'll spit a hot 16 for you for your spare change. LoL.

--C-Recks--

(Crank Dat Homeless Man)

The Mother Load

A couple of weeks ago I was at work and dealing with an irate customer over the phone. This is probably an every day occurrence in my line of work. So, it's nothing for me to maintain my professionalism while being verbally badgered by customers. This particular customer had his car repossessed and was upset because when he got his car back he had no license plates. So, he was going off about the fact that he couldn't drive his car with no plates. As I'm trying my best to help this customer he starts speaking Spanish in the back ground. Now I'm in no way fluent in the Espanol language. However, I did use to live in California for about 7 years. During those years a lot of my friends in school were Hispanic. So, I picked up on a lot of Spanish words that I still can recall. Fortunately/Unfortunately, those particular words happen to be mainly the curse words.

So as I'm explaining to him the procedure he must go through in order to get his plates, I can hear him saying in Spanish MF this, F**k that, B**ch this, A-Hole that. Now again, I sometimes deal with irate customers on a daily so phone bullies don't bother me because any one can be big and bad over the phone. However, when I over heard him say in Spanish "F**k your Mother" well let's just say at that point a nerve was officially struck. In an attempt to maintain my professionalism I had to hang up on that customer. Although the black in me wanted to serve his ass with a few choice words of my own, I was able to hold back in an effort to keep my job. Brother got child support and bills to pay. LoL.

I honestly had to think about the last time I even had someone say something about my mom. It had been quite a long time. I want to say around 5th grade. But it was only because for some reason other kids would come to me to come up with good "Yo Momma" jokes. I won't front a was pretty good but I'll admit most of my good ones were stolen. The ones I came up with personally were not as funny. LoL. But back then it was fun to joke and talk about someone's mother. At least it wouldn't come to blows in the end. So I'm sure that I had my mother talked about and talked about even more mothers. But I remember I used to get em' with some of the classics like these:



Yo Momma So fat she jumped in the sky and got stuck!
Yo Momma So fat she stepped on a rainbow and made a pack of skittles!
Yo Momma So broke she can't pay attention!
Yo Momma So black she went to night school and was counted absent!
Yo Momma So old her Social Security Number is 1!
Yo Momma So stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

If you sit back and think about the impact of someone saying "Yo Momma!" it would amaze you. But why is that the one of the top things that can set damn near anyone off? Here's another example. My mother was talking with my son recently. Whatever they were discussing she told him something like "you need to ask yo momma and yo daddy." Well he's only 4 and probably has never experienced having his momma talked about. However, his response to my mother was "what you say about my momma?" We couldn't help but to laugh. But that just goes to show you that hearing someone say "Yo Momma" is enough to get a rise out you even at 4 years old.



Unfortunately I can't go into the history of "Yo Momma" jokes and enlighten you on who delivered the first diss to someone's momma. However, remember when people talked about you when you were a kid, what was usually your mom's favorite response? "So what they talked about Jesus!!" Therefore, that leads me to conclude that if they talked about Jesus I'm pretty sure that someone talked about Jesus' mother as well. I'm sure this one was a popular one back then. I could hear them now "Yo Momma aint no virgin." LoL.

Well it really boils down to the connection between mother and children. She carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, and then raised you. So how can you not be protective of dear old mom? Although it's never funny when someone talks about your momma, I will admit it's pretty damn funny when someone else's mom is talked about. In fact, hearing someone's mother get talked about is so entertaining MTV even came up with a show dedicated to just that, talking about other people's mothers. The subtly titled "Yo Momma" pins contestants against each other to see who can deliver the best punchlines, jokes, and disses toward their opponents.

Even rappers have capitalized on the fascination of talking about people's mothers. Most people remember the rap group Pharcyde for their hit single "Passin' Me By." However, Passin' Me By was their 2nd single. The group's debut single was actually a comical song entitled "Ya Mama." The song title was pretty self explanatory as the group basically went back and forth talking about someone's mother. More recently Chicago rap group Hotstylz did a song entitled "Yo Mama." But I'll take the original Pharcyde version any day of the week over this version. In my opinion this gong sounds just like their other single "Lookin' Boy" except on a different beat. But you can be the judge.

(Pharcyde - Ya Mama)

(Hotsylz - Yo Mama)

So if you ever find yourself playing the dozens like in the clip below from the show In Living Color now you know to go for the jugular like a vampire. In this case, the jugular being their momma. Just make sure you come correct with your punchlines. I don't want to hear anyone using my old 5th grade punchlines trying pretend like you just made them up. LoL. Finally, to that customer don't think that I forgot about you. I may not have gotten to say it to you over the phone but I certainly will now. Yo Momma is so hairy that she uses a riding lawn mower to shave her back. Matter of fact she hires you and your brothers to come by weekly and landscape it for her. To any Hispanic readers please don't take offense because in actuality the customer did work for a lawn service. LoL. (Oh and that wasn't stolen I made it up all by myself).

(In Living Color)

(White Chicks)

--C-Recks--

Keep It On the DownLoad

As we all know the Internet is also known as the "Information Super Highway." When I was first introduced to the Internet back in the 90's I had no clue that the Internet would become what it has become. The Information Super Highway has surpassed the German Autobahn. In other words, there are absolutely no limits as to where you can go on the Internet nor how fast you can get there. I mean whatever your heart desires you can find it on-line. That's right anything from a piece of food resembling Jesus or the Virgin Mary
http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=23 to a wig for your cat http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html. Yes I said a damn cat wig!! Click the link if you don't believe me. Lol.

But one thing that is probably the easiest thing to find on the Internet is pornography. According to statistics adult websites generate over $1 Billion in revenue yearly. There are more than 72,000 sexually explicit websites on the Internet and new sites are being added at a rapid rate of 266 per day. 25% of total search engine requests are porn-related. (Top three searches: sex, mp3 and hotmail). 8% of total emails are porn-related. The average daily pornographic emails are 4.5 per Internet user and 12% of total websites are pornographic. So again, as you can see whatever you want no matter how sick or distasteful you can find it on the Internet.

In fact, I recently came across a statistic that stated one-third of divorce litigation is actually sparked by online affairs. So, my question of the day is this. Is an online/Internet affair still considered cheating? Some people would say absolutely yes, some others would say no, and plenty remain on the fence. I'm just going to explore some aspects of each area and the good people out there can be the judge for themselves. There will be plenty of questions posed and you can answer them to yourselves as you read along.

Let us start by first defining a few terms. First term is adultery. http://www.dictionary.com/ defines adultery as: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Next, they define the word cheat as: Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife. Next, is the word infidelity is defined as 1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression. Finally, let's look at the word unfaithful, which is defined as: not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover.

Alright we now know how the dictionary defines the words adultery, cheating, infidelity, and unfaithful. As for the word adultery, the definition strictly addresses the sexual intercourse aspect. So, as we know "cyber-sex" definitely does not involve any physical contact so I would say it doesn't fit into the text book definition of adultery. In fact, when you break it down into it's simplest form, cyber-sex is nothing more than typing. That's right 2 people typing to each other. Now true enough the subject matter is what places cyber-sex into that grey area. But comparing the definition of adultery and the act of having cyber-sex do not equal the same thing by a long shot.

Now please keep in mind I am not in any way stating that it is right for an individual male or female to participate in cyber-sex if they are in a marriage or committed relationship. I'm simply stating that based off the definition I don't think it is adultery. But I'm sure some individuals are thinking yes it is, I don't care what you say or what the hell Webster (Dictionary) or Mr. Papadopoulos say. Lol. So, for those of you with that position let's explore a few examples and see if you consider them adultery as well.

Example 1: Say for instance there is a husband that frequents a local strip club from time to time. Let's Say he goes once every 2 weeks on his pay day. He stops in after work with some co-workers, has some drinks, watches the ladies, tips, and pays for a couple of private dances. He does nothing more than this. So would you consider his actions adultery?

Example 2: There is a husband that tends to watch pornography. It is not an excessive amount but he does buy and rent movies on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't necessarily hide them from his wife but they are of course not in plain view along with the regular dvds. So is him watching pornographic movies adultery? But let's take it a step further what if instead of movies he views the pornography on the Internet? Last question what if he was viewing someone (a stranger) on a web cam would that too fall into the same category of adultery? Are all of these actions one in the same or is perhaps one worse than the rest?

Example 3: An attractive wife tends to be flirtatious by nature. She doesn't try to be but she just comes off flirty in most conversations with men. Not to mention her looks obviously attract a lot of attention when she's out in public, especially from men. So, say for instance while at the grocery store she flirts with one of the stock boys. And let's say that the package they discussed in the conversation wasn't one of the boxes he was unloading. However, their conversation never go beyond the flirting and her time in the store. Is she committing Adultery?

I don't know what your individual answers to the above examples are but personally my answer is no to each of them. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel that these spouses aren't dabbling in behavior that is suspicious at best, and definitely disrespectful, if their spouses are unaware of what they are doing. Also, in each case there is potential that their actions can eventually lead to adultery taking place. But just the actions themselves I do not consider aldutery, cheating, or being unfaithful, based on our definitions. However, if you recall two of the definitions of infidelity were (1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression). So by definition I can definitely agree that these are all acts of infidelity because they are showing a level of disrespect to their spouses as well as proving themselves untrustworthy.

So how far is too far when it comes to "Internet Infidelity?" Is simply chatting in a regular chat room too much if you're married or in a committed relationship? Many would argue that if you're in a marriage then you have no reason even be in a chat room to begin with. You should be chatting with your spouse right? Well I play poker online and many of the poker websites have a chat feature. There have been times when females have attempted to chat with me. Usually starting with something like "ASL?" For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym it simply stands for Age, Sex, Location. Basically the other person is asking for your details starting with those 3. So, how far is too far? What about exchanging photo's with the person that you're chatting with? Or chatting while using a web cam? Now Keep in mind that the person on the other end is a total stranger that is probably located in some far away place. Many would say that as long as it's not chatting with someone they know personally that it's alright. For instance, if they were constantly chatting with say a co-worker is much worse than with a total stranger. The reason mainly being that if they know the person there is much more potential for harmless chatting to turn into something more. So what about chatting sexually (having cyber-sex) with that person too far? What if it's simply a cyber-sex thing and you never share anything more? Or contrast that with just chatting in general (no cyber-sex), but in those chats you share bits of your personal life, problems (possibly with your spouse), and emotions with that person? Which is worse? I'm sure anyone that has been cheated on before (I being one of them) would agree that physically being cheated on is bad enough, but when the cheater then develops an emotional attachment it's far worse.

So going further let's try this one. By now everyone and their momma at least has either a myspace, facebook, or blackplanet page. But should married individuals have them? Is that crossing the line? Some would say no it's fine just as long as your relationship status reflects that you're indeed married. Or some would say that as long as they are only using the networking site to stay in touch with current friends and re-connect with past ones there is nothing wrong with that. But my question is this, who really wants guys or girls across the world writing on their husband or wife's wall/message board saying how attractive they are? Or sending them notes or messages trying to holler at them all day long? Not trying to sound like the jealous type but I know if I was married I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Plus wouldn't having access to millions of potential "friends" be sort of a temptation? Or try this what if you met your significant other online would it be wrong for you to want them to terminate their myspace (or any other social networking) account? That's no different than a couple that met in say the club and all of a sudden one spouse says I don't want you to go to the club anymore. Is that not a contradiction?

I think the fact of the matter is that each individual couple has to establish how far is too far? I personally think when the individual is attempting to be sneaky and inconspicuous with it then that's a red flag that the chatting may be something more. I mean if it's all innocent and means nothing then what's there to hide. There should be no need for any of the following behavior if it's simply innocent chatting. For instance, if your spouse walks in the room the screen shouldn't have to be minimized nor should you be turning off the entire computer. Also, constantly chatting while your spouse is sleeping or at work, and having all of your accounts and computers password protected. Lastly, deleting the cookies on your computer after each use. All of these activities are definitely the work of someone that is trying to hide something and it can't be anything innocent.

So in conclusion, if your significant other is spending more time online than they spend with you then there could definitely be an Internet affair going on. More than anything, I think any affair whether Internet based or actually in person points to a much deeper problem. Something is lacking or not being fulfilled within the marriage or relationship. If a person will take the time to form a bond whether sexually based or emotionally based on the Internet when they have a spouse physically there living in the same home as them, then again there's something lacking. Unfortunately, if you are in this position I can't tell you what it is you'll have to do some soul searching yourself to discover the answer. But take it from someone that's been cheated on before (don't worry it was not Internet based) it's not a good feeling at all. But unfortunately, in today's times you not only have to watch out for the other man/woman on the street trying to steal your spouse. Now, you have to worry about the potential of anyone on the entire World Wide Web becoming a "cyber-mistress." Which is indeed a Sad Reality.

--C-Recks--

Hand Solo

We've all thought it at some point, Hell some of you bold individuals have even done it before. But this thought can be directed at a number of people, whether it is at your kids, your boss (or Stupidvisor as my Grandfather commonly referred to them), your friend, your significant other, the grocery clerk, your co-worker, the waiter/waitress, or the cashier at the fast food restaurant. Regardless of who it may have been, the fact that you thought this means that the person must have really done something ignorant, stupid, or upsetting. Or perhaps they did nothing at all and you simply don't like this person; therefore, you thought this way.

Well I'm sure you're probably in suspense thinking what is this thing that we have all thought at one point. Well that thought Ladies and Gentlemen, can be described in one word the "SLAP." Also, referred to as the "SMACK" or even the "Bitch Slap" and or "Pimp Slap." However, they all mean the same thing basically someone has or is about to catch a mouth shot.

Now if anyone knows me personally then they know I have a certain ring tone on my phone it's the song "Slap" by Ludacris. I'm not really a big ring tone person but I do keep this one on my phone. I particularly use this ring tone for my alarm in the morning. Why? Well the answer is simple I know that waking up each morning at some point in the day I'm going to just as the song says "Feel like slapping somebody today!!"

Ludacris "Slap"

Now you're probably thinking to yourself and scratching your head, wondering "have I ever wanted to smack or slap someone?" Without knowing anything about you I can easily answer the question. It's an overwhelming YES! In the opening I described some people you may have thought about slapping at one point. Now let me expand a little and describe a few incidents involving some of those individuals and then you tell me if you too wouldn't be thinking about slapping someone.




Incident 1: You get to work this morning and realize your co-worker has called off sick but you know damn well they weren't sick yesterday. So your boss calls you in the office and assigns all of your co-worker's work to you on top of your regular work load. Now tell me what would be going through your mind? Me, I'll keep it real I'd be thinking I could slap the hell out of my boss right now and I owe a slap to my co-worker when they get back to work tomorrow!!

Adam Sandler and David Hasselhoff in "Click"

Incident 2: It's your lunch break and you're starving so can't wait to eat the juicy burger you've had a taste for. You stop at your local fast food restaurant and order your # whatever off the drive through menu. You pull up to window 1 and pay for your food, then proceed to window 2 grab your bag of food and drink and rush back to work to eat. However, when you get to work and open your bag not only are your french fries cold but to add insult to injury there is a chicken sandwich instead of a burger in the bag. Now tell me what you would be thinking? It's okay you don't have to admit it yet. I'll keep it Real, I'd be thinking I should drive back up there and slap the drive through attendant with this damn chicken sandwich!!


Incident 3: You're having trouble with your cell phone, so you decide to call your cell phone provider with hopes that they can assist you with the problem. So you make the call, the automated menu alerts you that there will be a 10 minute wait for a representative. So your 10 minute wait actually turns into 30 minutes and you're frustrated and on edge already. However, when your call is finally connected with a live representative you get a foreigner and you can't understand a word they're saying. (No offense to any foreigners of course). So you spend another 30 minutes explaining and re-explaining your problem to this individual who even if they spoke perfect English still couldn't help you because they're incompetent to begin with. So finally, my question is what would you be thinking? Well maybe it's just me, but once again I'll keep it Real. I'd be thinking I wish I could reach through the phone and slap the hell out of the person on the other end!!

Now please keep in mind I'm in no way promoting or supporting violence towards your fellow man or woman. I'm simply stating what we all are thinking at times. I would hope that random slapping assaults don't rise due to this blog because that is truly not its purpose. The above incidents are just a few of probably hundreds that can occur within a given day. So we have to some how find a way to whooo sahhh!! and attempt to refrain from just hauling off and slapping the hell out of someone. Trust me I'm just a few hours into my morning and I've already refrained at least 2 times so far. Not to mention, I'm expecting to be up to at least 5 times before 5pm. Therefore, if someone did decide to slap someone today for any incidents such as above or worse I guess I would understand. However, the disclaimer above retracts any and all responsibility from myself or my brother. Also, I'm sure that somewhere in it's Terms of Use Google has also done the same thing. LoL.

So what is the fascination with the slap? What does it do for the person doing the slapping? Does it relieve some kind of stress? Or could it be the sound that the slap makes? I think although a slap is less painful than a punch, it still lets the person receiving the slap know you mean business. So if you want to still inflict some type of pain but not necessarily injury you'll use the slap. For instance, when a pimp wants to reprimand one of his hoes he'll use the "pimp slap." Why? I'm sure a punch to the face would get the point across just as easily. But let us not forget that punches usually leave bruises and that could hurt business I mean who wants a "date" with a bruised up prostitute. However, a slap will usually just sting a bit and perhaps leave the face red depending on the amount of melanin you have.

I personally think that the slap is more for the audience. I mean if you're about to get into an altercation with someone the last thing you will be trying to do is line up the perfect slap. No, instead you're trying to knock they ass out like Deebo on "Friday." So, basically if someone gets slapped in the midst they will usually feel some sort of humiliation. Usually, if a slap is or was involved it's the very first hit because no one is going to just stand by and take multiple slaps to the face. That's like well no pun intended but a "slap in the face." Now the main reason I really say the slap is for the audience is because more than anything the slap gets the most reaction out of crowd. Think about it, any fight I can remember witnessing back in school days started with a big circle and 2 individuals in the middle. Of course the shit talking takes up more time than the actual fight itself but what would a fight be without a little shit talking? But if you ever take the time to listen to the instigators in the crowd you'll hear this from at least one person. "Slap his ass!" or "Slap her ass!" And whenever the first slap comes its usually the last because the next hit will definitely be a punch. But trust me with that slap you'll hear "Lots of oooohs and Dayums." Think about any episode of Jerry Springer and you'll get the visual I'm depicting. However, even if the fight is lost or in cases of a draw the initial slapper could still be deemed as the winner of the fight just because of the slap he or she got in.

Now I don't claim to be a slap expert in anyway. In fact, I can't really recall ever slapping some one before. Although I do remember as a kid reciting lyrics to an Eric B. & Rakim song "I aint no Joke" where he states "you could get a smack for this." Well me, my brother, and cousin would say that then smack each other but beyond that I've never slapped anyone. But I would tend to think that more women use the slap than men. I guess a man slapping another man just isn't a manly thing to do. In fact, in the Dave Chappelle skit with Rick James Charlie Murphy stated this about Rick James slapping him (As depicted towards the beginning of this blog). "First of all, you don't slap a man. Ok. I mean, even when slapping was fashionable, ya know, they did it in Paris, some guy would come up, "I challenge you to a duel." They would have a gunfight after that, somebody had to go!" But keep in mind that slapping is not always for violent purposes. For instance, if someone is being hysterical it is okay to slap that person to bring them back to their senses. Don't worry that's the only other example of a non-violent slap I could find too.

But I did find out that there are such things as slap contests. Yes that's right 2 people slap it out to see who is the winner. I'm not sure why people would engage in such an activity nor what the official rules are for such a competition. But I did find a description of the different types of slaps online. So for those of you that may find yourself in a slap fest, or slap contest here is a bit of information that may help you.

http://www.wikihow.com/Win-at-Slapfest

Types of slaps:

Forehand - a slap across the cheek executed with the palm and fingers of one hand. Use this if you see an opening or if it is the easiest slap possible.



Backhand - a slap across the cheek executed with the back of one hand. Not a good idea if you are going for pain infliction.



Double forehand - a slap on both cheeks executed with the palm and fingers of both hands. Make the slap hard and loud for effect. All the opponent's friends will laugh. This slap is TOTALLY embarrassing.

Double backhand- a slap on both cheeks with the back of the hand. Slightly better than a backhand.

Tap on the shoulder reverse - when you tap your opponent on one shoulder, then when he turns his head, you slap him on his opposite cheek. Only available at master level


Ninja slap - pretend not to slap the victim, but instead lightly punch his cheek. He will think it is a punch, but the judge KNOWS.

Now speaking of slapping contests. I even found that a popular radio station in New York Hot 97 apparently holds an annual Smackfest where the winner receives a $500 prize and continues on to compete for the $5000 grand prize. Below are a few examples of that smack contest. However, if you Google Hot 97 Smackfest or search it on youtube you will be taken to numerous Hot97 Smackfest videos.

So in closing, unfortunately I can't give you full the history of the slap as I was unable to find information on who committed the very first slap. However, I'm sure the slap goes back even to biblical days. Although he was non-violent, I'm sure that even Jesus at least had the thought of slapping Judas for selling him out. LoL. But in parting I will leave you with a collection of videos showing some classic and modern slaps. So enjoy.

"Tastes so good, Make you wanna slap Yo Momma"

Friday After Next

"Baby Powder"

How High

The 3 Stooges

A collection of classic Movie Slaps

This one is just for you Mom.

C-Recks

Casualties of War

As we approach this Independence Day weekend, our minds are normally focused on time off from work, barbecues, and fireworks. (Thank God for the extra day this year). And as we all know, the fourth of July is to commemorate America declaring its independence from Great Britain. Well considering how successful the American experiment has been, I believe it prudent to celebrate a person who paid the ultimate price for freedom. Yes, there have been many who have given their lives for the cause of America's freedom over the past two hundred and thirty-two years, however, this man is universally considered the first. That man's name is Crispus Attucks. For those of you who are aware of who Crispus Attucks is, I applaud you. And those of you who do not, this is who the man was, and what he did.




Crispus Attucks was born a slave in 1723. It is believed that he was born to an African father and an Indian mother. As Crispus got older, he became an expert in the trading of livestock. He would receive some small commissions from the trades he made for his master, William Brown. Crispus saved those commissions, and tried to buy his freedom. However, Mr. Brown viewed Crispus as far too valuable, and refused to sell him his freedom. (Please reread that last sentence, and try to understand the true injustice of the institution of slavery). Well in 1750 at the age of 27, Crispus escaped. A fugitive slave warrant was issued, but Crispus eluded capture. Little is known of Crispus' true whereabouts for 20 years. It is believed that Crispus may have become a harpoonist on a whaling ship.

Fast forward twenty years. Tensions between the Red Coats, the British soldiers, and the colonists were at an all-time high. On March 5, 1770, a mob of colonists confronted a group of red coats whom they believed had struck a young boy earlier in the day over an unpaid barber tab. As things escalated, more and more individuals joined the mob. One of those individuals was Crispus. There does not seem to be a consensus on the true events of the Boston Massacre, but it is assumed that as the mob confronted the soldiers, they began to throw snowballs and other debris. One soldier was struck with a thrown piece of wood. Some say it was Crispus that threw the piece of wood, and others say that Crispus was leaning on a stick. (In a fashion I imagine like a man leaning on a cane).




The soldiers in response fired on the crowd. Crispus was shot twice in the chest. Both he and two other people were killed at the scene. Two others died later from their wounds. The soldiers who opened fire on the crowd were tried for murder and were defended by John Adams, the eventual second President of the United States. Two of the soldiers were convicted of manslaughter, and given the option of either hanging or being branded on their thumb. Needless to say, they chose the brand. All of the other soldiers were acquitted.

While that is the story of the Boston Massacre, here is where I want to go with this blog entry. How important is it that the first casualty in America's struggle for independence was an escaped slave? Personally, I believe it is one of the most underrated pieces of information when it comes to the story of the American Revolution. A man, who at that time, essentially had no vested interest in America's prosperity, wound up losing his life for the eventual cause of freedom.

Now I'm sure some of you may be thinking, "well that may be giving him too much credit for the activities that took place. Sounds like to me that he may have either just been an innocent bystander, or even worse, an unruly jackass." While I respect that point of view, I ask you this, how many times in history have we seen people affect massive change by doing what some people may have classified at the time as being unruly or disruptive?

Whether you believe in God or not, Jesus was considered by some to have been nothing more than an agitator who challenged the conventional wisdom of the day. Today he believed by billions to have laid down his life for the salvation of the world. Now I'm not saying that Crispus Attucks should be compared to Jesus, all I'm saying is that nothing has ever changed in this world without someone challenging what would be considered conventional wisdom.

The Boston Massacre motivated the colonists to eventually declare their independence from English tyranny. As colonies, we formed a nation. The United States of America. For helping to lead us down that path, I want to say thank you to Crispus Attucks. To the men and women, whom to this very second, continue to defend the freedoms of this country, I thank you. Happy fourth of July all. Safe travels to all.


--DrizaDre--