Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen #2/3

So if you read in my first Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen post I explained how and why I don't cook. If you didn't get to read it click the link. But basically I told myself that I was going to try and start cooking more this year. I would say that the first meal was a success and I got no complaints from my date. To be honest I definitely didn't expect to have cooked meal #2 & 3 in less than a month. My original goal with the starting to cook more was 1 meal per month. Considering how much I normally cook (never) I figured this would be a hell of a step up.

The opportunity for meal #2 presented itself out of the blue. The same lovely lady that braved my first meal found herself feeling ill a few weeks ago. Well I had the bright idea to take her some chicken noodle soup and orange juice. What better to make her feel better. Then I thought cool I saw Campbell's was on sale that week $1 for big cans (possibilities!! LoL). But then I thought about it. Wouldn't it be extra special if I made her this soup? Having never even thought to take on such a task, I immediately hit up my cooking mentor. She replied that she had a chicken noodle soup recipe for me and would help me out. Therefore, I committed myself to cooking this meal.

After hitting up the mentor throughout the day I unfortunately was getting no response. So when 5pm came I was blowing her phone up like a man smoking at a gas pump (Which I saw recently btw. I see the wildest stuff sometimes. LoL). Now I was on a time constraint and had to have this soup there by a certain time. So when I realized that I was going to have no help I was left with a couple of choices. 1.) Go with the Campbell's Soup option 2.) Cook this meal all by myself, 3.) Just abandon the whole idea and make up an excuse. Perhaps I got sick myself. LoL.

Well after much comptemplating I actually chose option 2. First, I found a recipe online that 'seemed' to be pretty easy. Then I rushed to the store for the ingredients and then rushed back to start cooking. I swear I cut up so many damn vegetables it was ridiculous. Lol. Although time was an issue, I was somehow able to cook the soup, and deliver it. She was very surprised and appreciative of the soup, crackers and orange juice. When she ate it she said that it was good and with that meal #2 was also a success. My mentor had run into some technical difficulties but was proud that I proceeded without her assistance. I am leaving out plenty of details and how nervous I was (which I never am) when trying to pull this one off. However, the results of meal #2 can be seen below.

(Menu: Homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers, and Orange Juice [not pictured])

Meal #3 came about just a couple of days ago. This time there was no special occasion, just another visit/date. The mentor helped me come up with a quick/easy meal that I could prepare after work in time for her arrival. Although I did get talked through this meal I will admit that it came a little more natural than the first 2. It seems as if I am definitely getting a little more comfortable after each meal. This meal turned out great. My date (my new default taste tester) really enjoyed this one and even asked for my recipe. My response was, I couldn't divulge this old family secret, but I can show you her how to make it. LoL.

I had more of the ingredients for this meal left over the next day. So just to show you how comfortable I'm actually getting with cooking, when I came home from work I cooked this same meal again for dinner just for myself. Also, I took what was left to work with me today for lunch. Now I won't count that as meal #4, but I will say that this meal is officially mastered and in my mental book of recipes. See the pictures below.

(Menu: Buffalo chicken wraps, chips & salsa, and Bahama Mamas to drink).

Now I can't promise 3 more meals within a months time; however, with the way things are going I could be up to 1 meal per week sooner than we expect. That's it for me. Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend.

--C-Recks--

First Comes Baby, Then Comes Marriage?

I am a father. Yes my babygirl was born premature, and only lived for one day, but in the 5 and a half months her mother was pregnant, I knew that being a father was absolutely NO JOKE! Unfortunately, it seems as though the responsibility of being a parent has become somewhat of a joke. The most glaring example is the "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. The Octomom is the woman in Los Angeles who, though she already had six children, decided that it would be an ingenious idea to implant herself with eight embryos. Yes, I understand that in-vitro fertilization is not an exact science, but lo and behold, all eight embryos were viable and survived to their birth. So now this woman has 14 children.

If that weren't bad enough, Ms. Suleman is an unemployed single mother living with her parents. Children are expensive as hell. No, I didn't get the opportunity to spoil my babygirl, but I have had a front row seat to spoiling of my nephew. (My brother's son). Boy, oh boy. I always crack jokes with my brother and say that the reason he might not have any more kids is because he can't afford any more. And that's just one. Multiply that times 14. How the hell does this woman expect to raise those children on her humble unemployed salary? I know, set up a website, and ask people for donations! If reaching out to the public at large is your major means of supporting your children, maybe you don't need children!

Since then her website has been shut down. This fact was not a publicized event. I believe that she probably wasn't really raising that much money. Would you donate money to her? Even if I had the money available, I wouldn't give her shit. I consider myself very charitable, but why should I feel guilty for the fact that there's a woman who's so irresponsible that she "chose" to give birth to more children than her finances could afford her? Personally, I believe this woman is mentally unstable. When we first heard this story, I'm sure that many of you thought she probably did this for the publicity. Though that may have been a part of her motivation, I think its more so that she's just crazy. Some crazy people talk to themselves, others have hallucinations, this woman, for some reason, continues to have more children. I wish those children the best. Due to my experience with my daughter, I know that their recovery will be long, and tedious. I pray that the neonatal care that they receive is top notch. Unfortunately, I don't believe this is the last that we'll hear of this story.

Now from the ridiculous to the sublime. I turned on the television yesterday, and watched a news story about a 13 year old boy who is now a father. The first thing that I thought was "you have got to be shittin me"! I'm 30 years old now. 13 wasn't that long ago, so I can vividly remember that age. When I was 13, what was important to me was kickin it with my friends, and playing my new Sega Genesis. Don't get me wrong, I was into girls. Hell, I think at 13, I saw, and touched, my first live breast. (And I've been hooked ever since. Lol). But sex? Not even in the top 10 things of importance in my life. Yes I wanted another sibling at that time, but a child of my own, HELL NO!



The boy got a 15 year old girl pregnant, so this wasn't an illegal circumstance per se. But this situation is just obscenely ridiculous. Apparently young Alfie, the 13 year old, was rarely attending school. And as we all know, children who don't go to school find other, more dangerous things, to get themselves into. Unfortunately, now, Alfie has given up his childhood, and also put the life of another child in jeopardy.

I know that you can only do so much as a parent. No parent can be with their child 24 hours a day. But its imperative that we teach our children about the consequences of the decisions that they make. Unfortunately you have these very same children looking at people like Jaime Lynn Spears (Britney Spear's little sister), and Bristol Palin (Governor Palin's 17 year old daughter) and recognizing the kind of attention that they're receiving. And actually, to a larger degree, they're seeing "adults" like Nadya Suleman, and all the attention that they receive for what everyone knows is irresponsible behavior. Children are a blessing. And the sooner we get back to treating them as such, instead of an accessory like a new purse or a nice pair of earrings, the sooner we can begin to improve the status of our American families.

-DrizaDre-

Exit Strategy: Update

So as you all may know from my previous Exit Strategy post I finally got a new job and I start today. I want to thank you all for the congrats and advice on how I should leave my previous job. Well I must be honest with you. Although I asked for advice, I of course had it made up in my head as to how I was going to leave. But I thought I would at least entertain you guys suggestions. So here's how everything went down.

Of course being the professional I am I went with option #1 and typed out my resignation letter below and gave it to my boss on that Friday. You can read it below, but I'm going to interject with what I was really thinking or at least wanted to say in red. Warning, Parental Advisory suggested.

February 6, 2009

Dear Mr. (Boss),

I am writing this letter as my formal notification that I am resigning from my position as (____) with (Company name). Friday February 13, 2009 will be my last day of employment.

I Quit! I should leave today, but I'm feeling nice and giving y'all another week of work from me.

This was not an easy decision to make as it has been a genuine pleasure working for (Company name). The work has been both challenging and productive and I have thoroughly enjoyed working with (Company name's) fine staff of professionals. I will miss my associates here.

As soon as I got the call that I got the new job I didn't have to think twice and immediately accepted. The last 3 years working here have been pure hell. After all the people I was friends with either got fired or quit I couldn't stand coming in daily to these bitter ass women. There are 2 people left I pray find something better so they can escape as well. Those 2 I will miss. The rest of y'all can kiss my ass.

If I may be of assistance in the recruitment, hiring process, or training of my replacement, please know that I will gladly make myself available to this effort.

This next week don't ask me to do s**t beyond my regular job. And you better hope that I will even do that. Well I may pretend to be working; however, I am most likely on the Internet reading or writing blogs as I have been hiding doing the last 9+ months. But since I don't give a damn anymore I will let you know not to disturb me. And if you're really smart you won't ask me to train a damn person, because after I finish telling them the real deal they definitely won't want to work here.

Sincerely,
Peace,

As Jay-Z said. "For the rest of y'all throwin shots at Jigga, you only get a half a bar F**k Y'all niggaz."

C-Recks

CC: Supervisor with her b**ch ass

CC: Owner with his b**ch ass

So I give him the letter sit down in front of him and he says "You're leaving?!?" And keeps reading and looks at the last date as Friday 13th. Then he has to nerve to ask me "You can't give us 2 weeks notice?" I reply "Unfortunately that's not an option for me at this time." Are you f**kin serious? You have the nerve to ask me to give you 2 weeks? I bet when you were ready to fire me at the end of this month I wouldn't get 2 weeks notice of that s**t.

So he asks "Are you getting out of the business or going anywhere I know of?" I reply I'm not going anywhere at all I'm just resigning from here. His face perks up and looked like he wanted to say WTF? I'm not stupid the owner is an old Italian man and I swear he's in the Mafia or something. I got stories I could tell. But his ass is connected and knows some of every one. You think I'm gone tell you I got a new job so he can make a call and f**k my s**t up? Oh hell naw! Hand me a mirror because Someone must've written stupid on my forehead since I last looked in the mirror.

Flustered, he then says "you know when I wrote you up last month it wasn't meant as a bad thing (now I have the WTF face). Last month you did much better, you didn't improve to where it said you should in the write up, but nonetheless you did do much better. So I reply "hmmm that's funny, but also part of the problem because you all don't tell us when we do good. But you're quick to point out when we are doing bad." Plus I could have sworn the damn write up letter said and I quote "If your numbers aren't improved by the end of February we will be forced to replace you." Your words not mines.

He then says "I only wrote the letter because I wanted to motivate you to do better." Wait! Again are you f**kin serious? Because you can't have just told me that with a straight face. But let me get this straight. You want your employees to do better... so let's write them up and threaten to fire them. Okay great strategy. Well guess what? You did motivate me, you motivated me to get the hell outta this damn job and get another!

"Well we hate to see you go and you will be missed, we appreciate your 5+ years of service for the company, some other babbling about how much he always liked me." Extends his hand to shake mines. Blah Blah Blah. What the f**k ever. Save that BS talk because I know damn well your ass didn't like me and don't worry the feeling was mutual. So like a limp d**k there's No "hard" feelings at all.

I Shake his hand and begin to smile big. I was ready to jump up and down in this chair like Tom Cruise on Oprah's show. I Walk out of the office and go back to my desk ready to do a lot of non-work for the rest of the day/week. We had a lunch meeting later that day and my manager announced that I resigned to the rest of the company. The funniest thing is that no one said anything to me the rest of the week. Not one where you going to or why are you quitting or you'll be missed or any of that. And believe me these are the nosiest women in the world so them not asking I found funny.

So on my last day I had planned on bringing donuts or something for everyone. Just as a good parting gesture. But I must admit I also contemplated the stealing of the tissue again and some adding exlax to the donuts, but I'm not that cold. LoL. But I figured since no one really gave a damn why should I. So I came in late my last day, did my last 6 hours, and that was that. I Said my goodbyes to everyone and even gave and received some fake hugs and I will miss yous. The only thing I will miss about this place is that my drive here was only 2 minutes. But I will gladly drive 35-45 minutes to the new job to get away from this place. Peace.

So that was that I kept it professional all the way throughout. Excuse the excessive cursing. I don't normally curse that much unless I'm upset. Well maybe I do, but not all in one setting like that. LoL. But today I start at the new job. Therefore I am not sure how much blogging I will get to do this week. I'm sure I'll have some stories to share from the new gig soon enough though. My brother should be able to hold it down the blog though. I definitely won't be able to do as much reading and he rarely reads so excuse my absence on everyone's blogs and comments. In closing, here are a few pics below I took of my old desk. Have a great week!!

Not sure what my new desk will look like, but hopefully it's much larger than this cramped space.

Goodbye old desk and cramped space. (This is the cleanest it's been since I've worked there. LoL)

This quote was told to me by a good friend last year. I wrote it down and posted it on my monitor. It's been there ever since. It may not have happened last year. But good things come to those who wait. And so far this year is definitely setting up to be that year. Thanks KDW.

Some of my art work. I was very bored back in the day. Thank God I discovered blogging to occupy my time at work. LoL. Oh and no one try to steal my "Black Out" product idea. Patent is pending. LoL.

Finally after removing all of the items pinned up on my cubicle I took all of the stick pins and made a peace sign. So when they walk past my desk they will know I've peaced the hell out. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Reserve the Right

Well we all know that Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Now if you don't then you obviously don't watch TV, listen to the radio, or use the Internet frequently. Because the advertisers sure aren't allowing you to forget even if you wanted to. So basically if you aren't aware then you do not exist. If I had a dollar for every KY or Lovers Lane commercial that I've heard or seen this month I could afford to make it rain at the strip club for more consecutive nights than it rains in Seattle, WA. But I digress. LoL.

Speaking of Valentine's Day and marketing I'm sure this is one most of you have heard of already. However, I first heard of it a couple of years ago. My best friend sent me a picture message with the caption "Only in Chicago." Well I was at first shocked by the picture I saw and thought it was a joke. So I had to do further research to confirm that it couldn't just be a Chicago thing. Upon further investigating online it seems as if this was a yearly tradition that spanned far beyond Chicago. What is it that I'm referring to you ask? Well take a look at the picture below.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Every year (at least recent ones) the hamburger chain White Castle goes high class for Valentine's Day. From 5-9 pm you and your date can enjoy the famous sliders in a romantic setting. Yes that means they cover the tables in plastic table cloths, put a flower on the table and even light a candle. They even provide servers for the evening. But here's the kicker you must make a reservation to enjoy amenities such as these.

WTF??

Alright seriously I like to save a buck just like the next American struggling in these economic times. However, I just need to know what man in their right mind is actually bold enough to make this move? I mean on some real I respect they gangsta to even have the balls to tell their woman "I made reservations at our favorite restaurant," and then pull into White Castle. Talk about being in the Dog House, they may as well serve up divorce papers along with this meal. "Would you like to see the dessert menu, and the number of a good divorce attorney?"

Now in the past I've had some women tell me that I don't seem like the romantic type. Ironically, I'm probably the total opposite of what they thought. I guess I was just never given the opportunity to show it. Either that or never wanted to show them that side for whatever reason. However, my sometimes unappreciative ex could attest to the fact that I am definitely romantic. But in recent years (the last 5...yes sad I know. Don't judge me. LoL) I have been single. Therefore, my Valentine's Day routine has been to take my mom out for dinner. But even if all I had was $1 to may name I wouldn't even take moms to White Castle on Valentine's Day. Come on now.

In their defense, from what I read many of the couples that frequent their local White Castle on Valentine's Day may have originally met at the restaurant. As cute as that may be let's be realistic. Plenty of couples meet in many strange or obscure places. However, some of those places don't need to be revisited on a regular or even yearly basis. Here are a couple of extreme examples. Let's just say a couple happens to meet at a friend's funeral. Does that mean every year they should visit the cemetery and have a picnic on the friends grave site? That's creepy as hell. Or how about this I recently saw a couple on Divorce Court and they met in a strip club. She was a dancer and he was a bouncer. Although they were divorcing, what if they had stayed married? So you mean to tell me when they're 70 years old and gray they should be visiting the strip club as part of a yearly tradition? If I see someone's grandma on the pole on amateur Wednesdays I'm going to jail for disorderly conduct that night. Lmao.

In closing, if any of you guys are last minute and haven't made reservations anywhere, please do yourself a favor and cook dinner or order in. Do not under any circumstances call your local White Castle for reservations. But regardless of what you have planned I hope that everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day. Even if you are single and have no Valentine just do something to show love to yourself. It's just another day you'll survive. Hell I have for 5 years strong. LoL. However, I am happy to report that this year I am actually going on a real date for Valentine's Day. I've made reservations at a downtown restaurant with a nice romantic setting. Maybe I will give details at a later time. But I don't plan on breaking tradition, I will still take my mom out maybe for breakfast or lunch though.

--C-Recks--

Dollars and Sense

I don't know about any of you, but I am no economist. As a matter of fact, I'm not really that great with money. So it makes it somewhat difficult to completely understand the current circumstances that our country's economy finds itself in. I listened to the press conference given by President Obama on Monday, and as much as I root for Obama to succeed as the President, I couldn't really get with his economic stimulus plan. I mean, the last number that I heard about the bill is that it would cost us around 750 billion dollars. Some of that is to jump start the economy, but there's no guarantee that it will work. According to Vice-President Joe Biden, if we do everything right, there's still a 30% chance that all of the money that we're committing to spending will have no positive effect. That's no good. I mean, if you spend 750 billion dollars, you expect that it will drastically improve your current circumstances.

I heard a little bit of math that will show just how much money 750 billion dollars is. If you were to spend one million dollars a day on every day that has existed since Jesus walked the Earth, you still wouldn't have spent 750 billion dollars. Here's the math. Its 2009, but Jesus died at the age of 33. So its been 1,976 years since then. A million dollars spent every day for a years is 365 million. Multiply that times 1,976, and you come up with $721,240,000,000. Tack on another 494 million dollars to compensate for those extra February 29ths, and you have a grand total of 721 billion, 734 million dollars. Almost 30 billion less than what the stimulus plan calls for. I don't know about you, but when you talk about that kind of math, I'm gonna say that it should have better than a 70% chance of success.

Now I know that some of you are gonna say that Bush asked for nearly the same amount for the TARP fund. (Troubled Assets Relief Program). And though I wasn't exactly in favor of handing out that money, it was on a slightly different scale. As I understand it, the TARP money that has been given out is money that at some point and time, when the banks become profitable again, the Government will be repaid that money. Now don't get me wrong, getting money from the Government is like "borrowing" $100 from your mother. Yes you technically owe her, but if you only give her back say $50, and it takes two months for her to get that, its not like she's gonna send Barry Bonds to take out your knees with one swing. (By the way mom, I know I still owe you, just give me a little more time. Lol). Same thing with the government. As all of this was presented to us on Monday, I also was struck by how unsure President Obama seemed about the whole ordeal. I mean, the brotha is usually cool, calm, and well spoken on matters. To me, it seemed like he was just as unsure, and at a loss about the whole mess. That's not a major problem per se, but the President of the United States is like the coach of a football team. Right now the US is down by 30 at halftime, and that speech was supposed to inspire us to come out and take it to the opponent in the second half. Well, what I gathered from his speech is that we're probably gonna lose. Hell, I almost would have appreciated it more if Barack would've just said "Look, things are bad. Bad to a degree that I can't really comprehend. Now I know that you guys elected me to fix the problem. In turn, I have chosen the best in the business. And I believe in these people. I can't tell you everything that they're gonna do, because much of it is beyond my understanding. But I guarantee you that we're gonna take care of this". Now I know that saying something like that is beyond the scope of most politicians, but it would have made me more confident that we could actually erase this 30 point halftime deficit.

So that's just my take on the current economic crisis. A part of me feels that though things are bad, they're no worse than anything we've faced in the past. The difference is that we as a country have made significant improvement in our quality of life since we last found ourselves in similar circumstances. And though we don't want to admit it, we really screwed up by buying $40,000 cars, and $500,000 homes on student loan inflated $35,000 salaries. Its gonna hurt people, but maybe this is exactly what we needed to get back to living the "right" kind of lives.

-DrizaDre-

Myspace Madness

When we first started this blog our cousin made a comment. She said "if you're not making a personal diary on this blog then won't you eventually run out of things to blog about?" Well Cuzzo we're 9 months in and still going strong. As much as we try to not make this a personal blog, there are often times when certain things just get thrown in your lap. Well at that point you have no choice but to blog about them. I have a song I wrote called "Walk in my Shoes" and part of the chorus states "If you take a walk in my shoes and lace em' up/ you'll see that I'm for real man I can't make this up." So here is one of those situations.

Here's the background info: I'm not going to go personally into all of the nitty gritty, but let's just say due to certain circumstances my brother and I aren't the closest with our father. Now in recent months he's made attempts to rebuild the relationship. But to be honest, let's just say as Jay-Z said "It's a slow process and I ain't got nothing but time."

So a few days ago I get a weird text message. After reading it I realize it's a text message sent via yahoo messenger. The message happened to be from my father. So I'm in my head like "who in the hell put him up on yahoo messenger?" Not that he's too old or anything because my mom uses yahoo messenger at times. But for some reason it was just weird coming from him. So the message is general so I go ahead and reply. Then he begins to ask me about my music and when my cd is coming out. So I tell him and give him my myspace link www.myspace.com/crecksinkrowd. I think nothing of this innocent gesture as I felt if he was really interested he would appreciate seeing the site. He said he would check it out and that was the end of the convo. At least so I thought.

Well I got another of these texts from him last night. I was actually online at the time, so I just went ahead and IM'd him directly through yahoo messenger. He was going on saying how much he liked my myspace page and how professional it looked. Also, he stated that he was looking forward to hearing my CD. Now my father was into music way back in the days. But just like all musicians I guess you just never give up on the dream. So, he was going on about how he wanted to collabo with me (LMAO), how he can help me, about this artist he's producing, and how he knows so and so he can give my cd to. Blah blah, Yada Yada. So in parting he makes this statement. "Who are the ladies on your myspace page?" I'm like I don't know it's a music page everyone gets approved so it could be anyone. Some of them I know some are just myspace friends. So, he closes saying "Well I don't know which were which but Wow!! had me thinking... Never mind talk to you later son." I shook my head as he signed out of messenger and again thought that was that.

So not too long after that I go on to my myspace page to check my messages and play that damn Mafia Game I'm addicted to. LoL. So I notice I have a new friend request and a new message. I get all kinds of friend requests, so I never really pay attention to nor ever visit the pages of some of the clowns that send me requests. As I said everyone gets approved! So when I looked at this latest request. The name first stuck out. But I'm like Oh Hell No this just couldn't be. So I go to my messages and see I have a message from this person as well. I read the message and immediately start to "crack" the hell up like Bobby and Whitney. I go to the person's page and see the main picture and just begin to shake my goddamn head. I begin to read the profile and let out a WTF aloud. Can this nigga be serious?

I'm sure you guessed it by now. But yes my damn father had created a myspace page. Now my father brings about all kinds of hilarity just for no damn reason some times. I've referred to him as dad and father here, but trust he gets called a lot of names by us and neither of those are often spoken. Trust if I got down and personal I would have endless blogs that would have you dying a slow death from laughter. However, this officially took the cake. I immediately got on the phone and called my brother. When I tell him the story we're both damn near in tears. But wait here's the kicker. You ready? The nigga listed his age as 40!! 40? Are you serious? My brother is 30 and I'll be 29 this year. So you were 10 and 11 when you had us? Get the hell outta here. This so reminded me of the episode of Boondocks where granddad was on myspace meeting women. See the clip below.



See this is why certain technologies are dangerous when they fall into the hands of either young children or older people. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with older people being on myspace. So if any of your parents have myspace pages then more power to them. However, I do have a problem with MY parents being on there. In addition, I would have a problem with my parents frequenting the same club I hit up. I don't want to see pops trying to holler at young girls or mom's (not that she ever would) dropping it like it's hot. There just has to be certain boundaries that are set and respected.

So in an attempt to see if I was alone in this boat, I did some research and just did a quick browse on myspace for people ages 50 (my dad's real age) - 68 (the maximum age field myspace allows). Well apparently within a 250 mile radius of my zip code there were about 3000 people men and women that fit that search criteria. I clicked through a few pages and noticed the majority of them were white people. But I guess I felt a little better knowing that I'm not the only child being embarrassed by their parent.

I just find it funny that I just wrote a blog about being the cool dad to my son as he gets older. I mean I want to be up to date with slang and technology; however, at age 50 my son will be 26. By that time as cool as I would want to still be in his eye, I think I would have just embraced my old age.

I'm honestly still debating on whether to approve this friend request or not. The good thing with having over 1000 friends is that he would be buried in the pile. But there's absolutely no way in hell that he's going in my top friends. I'll keep a running update on how the new myspace adventures are going. I'm sure my brother will have to also state his take on the situation. So this definitely won't be the last you hear of this subject. All I know is if I get a friend request from my mom I'm closing that damn page down quicker than a buffet when a bus load of obese people pull up. LoL. Oh and to my cousin as long as I have gold like this I'll never run out of stuff to blog about. And by the way cuzzo you're in my top friends on myspace, so check your inbox. I'm sure that your uncle sent you a friend request too. So far he only has Tom and some unforsaken victim. LMAO!!

--C-Recks--

Exit Strategy

If any of our faithful readers recall, on inauguration day I had a job interview. I needed suggestions on what excuses to use to call off. If you didn't read it check it out here. Well in that post I revealed how shaky things were at my job. I didn't go into details at the time. But just know when I say shaky I'm talking shakier than a man with Parkinson's at the craps table having an epileptic seizure during an earthquake. LoL. (No offense to anyone with any of those ailments, I was just illustrating my point).

Basically after 5 years of dedicated service can these MFs wrote me up last month on some you got til the end of February to get your #s up or we're going to replace you. I took that one on the chin and in front of my boss I first laughed, then shook my head, signed the write up, and walked out of his office. If you only knew how deep this got. I'm the only black person left. They fired the only other black person about 4 months ago. So I knew I would be next at some point. To be real I been on the grind for the longest probably about a year and a half on and off trying to get the hell out of this place. But for the last 6 months I been on the grind non-stop. I've been on several interviews, but just having no luck so far.

Well good people, I am thrilled to report that I just got a call from the company I interviewed with inauguration day. And they offered me the position!! I will be starting on Monday February 16th. I plan on giving my notice sometime tomorrow. So here's where I need a last bit of help from you readers. I'm trying to figure out how I should exit. Below are the choices I'm throwing around in my head.

1. Give them a regular letter of resignation tomorrow, put in my final week next week and leave respectfully and honorably. Thank them for 5 years of employment, and just say goodbye.

2. Give them my letter of resignation tomorrow detailing how bogus, racist, and discriminatory they are/were and forward a copy to the EEOC.

3. Show the hell out! Curse everyone that I didn't like out. Bitch slap a couple people I really couldn't stand, and do something to mess them up somehow. Nothing crazy like putting a virus on the computers or anything. But just something funny like taking all the damn toilet tissue out the place. LMAO. There was a skit on The Dave Chappelle show where he quit his job after he thought he knocked Oprah up. If you haven't seen it, check below he showed his ass in that skit. I mean literally showed his ass! LoL. (Thanks for the link Malika)

Chappelle's Show

Dave Gets Oprah Pregnant

Charlie Murphy Videos
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs

Black Comedy
True Hollywood Story

4. Wait until next Friday right before 5pm and throw them the deuces. Most jobs fire you without notice and wait til 5 damn pm to let you go. 2 weeks notice my ass. Feel free to take up to 2 weeks to notice I'm gone!!

Wait I better subtract a finger. LoL

5. Can't think of anymore so feel free to get creative and give me suggestions or ways you've quit bad jobs in the past. I'm all ears. LoL.

I want to thank those of you, including friends and fam that wished me good luck and maybe even said a prayer for me. I Thank God for this blessing especially in these tough economic times. The saying "He's may not always be there when you call, but he's always on time" definitely applies to my situation. Also, a special thanks to my bff. She was there from day one helping me grind, update and fix my resume, find jobs for me to apply to, and motivate me to keep going after each denial.

Just keep in mind most of my blogging was done from work. So there may be a slight hiatus after I start on the 16th. So hopefully my brother will be able to hold this down and keep the blogs coming regularly. I will update you on next week as to how I made my exit. LoL. Lastly, I'm not really a New Year's resolution person. Well I don't write them down at least. But this year I had 4 main things I wanted to accomplish. Number one was to finally find a new job. So that makes one down, and a second in the works. I'll update more on those as they're accomplished.

Thanks again to all.

--C-Recks--

For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

Repost: Best of Both Worlds

Since today is SuperBowl Sunday I thought this old post from September would perfect to repost today.

There's a new White commercial that has been recently airing. I wasn't able to find the video online so you'll have to settle for my description. If you need to view a previous version of the "when the crave calls" commercial click the link. They're all virtually the same basis just with different scenarios. The basic premise behind this particular commercial is this. A guy and a girl are on the couch and look to have just been "fooling around" and the girl says "I'll be right back and don't you go any where." Basically she's letting him know that she's going to go slip into something a little more "comfortable". Well as she walks away the guy's cell phone rings. Well the caller on the other end is not really a person but the crave calling him to come eat White Castles (cue the music). The man tries to reason and explain that it's not a good time right now. The music plays again indicating that the crave is very insistent on him coming right now! Unable to resist the crave, and in true fictional fashion the guy chooses to answer the crave and runs out of the door. Just as he exits a scantily clad female walks out wondering where he went.

Now yes the commercial did bring about a bit of a laugh. But one of the times I saw this commercial I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching the same Chicago Bears game. Well of course he agreed just as probably any guy that watched this commercial would and said there's no way that they would choose hunger over even the slightest possibility that sex is going down. Especially in the case of the commercial where this man was 99.9% golden pending he wasn't one of those unfortunate men that require a little blue pill and forgot to take it. LoL. Being of the male species I can and will keep it real with you. Let's say a man just got released from being held hostage for months I'm talking having been starved and tortured John McCain style (We've all heard the story by now). However, upon his release if you immediately put on a table a sandwich (with the works ham, turkey, salami, cheese, bacon, etc.) and next to that sandwich a naked woman I'm willing to bet all I have that 90% of the time the man will take the naked woman. Now perhaps midway through handling his business he may take a quick bite of the sandwich to keep his energy up, but the initial reaction is all the evidence I need to win the bet. LoL!

Well I thought that my theory was bullet proof like 50 Cent, that was until someone posed this question to me the other day. I will attempt to phrase the question just as it was stated to me.

"Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday and you're having a Super Bowl Party. So you've got good food, lots of beer, the big plasma TV, some good friends and family and the most comfortable seat in house all ready for the Big Game. What if right before the opening kick off your wife or girlfriend calls you to the room. You run to the room as to not miss any of the game and upon entering the room she greets you naked and wants you to have sex right then and there. What do you do?"

Now unlike my previous example with the food vs sex, for some reason I was just a bit puzzled as to what my answer would be. My very first thought is what kind of nymphomaniac freak have I married or gotten involved with that would even put me in the position to make this choice? LoL. I mean does she not know that I have watched game after game week after week (16+ in total) in order to see this one game? Does she not know I've watched my favorite team lose heart breaking games and even perhaps miss the playoffs this year? If she's my wife or girlfriend then she has to know all of this. So why oh why would she do this to me?

Alright I know this is by far not the worst position to be put in world but still it's a decision that I would prefer not to have to make. I can see the angel and the devil on my shoulder trying to get me to choose sides. Except in this case I don't know which is the good side and which is the bad side. But on one side there's a man with a football referee uniform on and the other is a woman with an angel robe on and a cheerleader outfit under it. Now both have valid arguments as to why I should choose one over the other.

Ref: Why are we even having this debate we've done the coin toss time for the kick off get out there on the field game on!! (Blows whistle).

Angel: It's sex!!

Ref: That's all you have to say to plead your case? It's sex? Would you tell her to put some clothes on and come back out here so you don't miss any of the game.

Angel: It's SEX!!

Ref: Is this really your argument? So you think that just because it's sex he's supposed to miss the biggest game of the year? You bought that 55inch Plasma screen just for this game!

Angel: Let's Talk about sex baby... (Singing the words to Salt and Peppa's song).

Ref: See this is B.S. it's Super Bowl Sunday. You have cold beer, snacks, and the best damn sporting event waiting on you what's to think about?

Angel: S.E.X. take a deep breath and think before you let it goooo!!... (Singing the words to Lyfe Jennings' song).

Ref: (Blow Whistle and throws flag!!) Personal Foul unnecessary singing!!

Angel: Listen this is all I have to say. No, it's not sex again. But there's a beautiful naked woman here ready and willing. Now you mean to tell me you'd rather watch a man take a snap from behind another man when you could be taking your own snap with her as your center?

Ref: Man she's your girl she's not going no where why does it have to be now? How about you sacrifice the half time show. (Whispers: Don't worry Janet Jackson isn't performing this year) You can come and finish this then.

Angel: Oh trust it'll be too late by then and you'll probably be sacrificing about a months worth of sex and your bed. So I hope that Lazy Boy is extra comfy.

Ref: (Blows Whistle) Injury timeout on the field. Get my man an ice pack for his future blue balls!! Because we're still going back to watch the game right?

Angel: Okay here's the last chance and the last option for you. Tivo or DVR. You do your thing here and when you get done go back and rewind the game and watch from the beginning. You'll both be happy, she gets what she wants (sex) and you still get what you want (the game). You can skip the commercials and the half time show and come back and watch them later and by the end of half time you'll be back watching the game live. So what do you say?

Ref: I think I saw a challenge flag thrown.

Me: Well she does have some valid points I think I'll take her last option.

Ref: After further review of the play the ruling on the field stands: This is some bullshit!!

Angel: No man can resist you were fighting a losing battle.

(Both poof and disappear)

Well in actually the thought process of that decision took a matter of a few seconds but believe it or not all of those things went through my head before I gave my answer to the question. The DVR option was in fact my final answer by the way. Thank God for technology. LoL. But on the real I just can't imagine being put in a situation such as that. I mean I love Football and sports but does it outweigh a man's desire to want to have sex?

Before I go just just a quick word of advice to the ladies. Please don't do any nonsense such as this to your men. Now if it's preseason, even regular season then let's make it happen, I'll even miss the whole game. And although it's a stretch, I may even make an exception for the playoffs. But on Super Bowl Sunday this is just torture. Although most will choose the sex option there will be plenty of resentment behind it. And no offense he's not doing it because he wants you oh so bad at that moment. It's because he doesn't want to face the possible consequences of choosing football over you. So a simple solution to this is to go ahead and watch the game with him. You may not know what the hell is going on but just sit quietly and ask very few questions during the game. When he cheers just cheer right along with him. Keep a cold beer near and a few snacks within arms reach. And if he's happy with the outcome of the game celebrate with him and if he's sad or upset just don't bring it up at all. If you can do this one thing then trust and believe your man will do anything you want the day after the game. His honeydew list will be completed and he'll be rubbing your feet and feeding you grapes. Well maybe that's a stretch but he will appreciate this gesture and you will be rewarded generously for it.

P.S. To the guys. You know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day? Well the Super Bowl is usually before Valentines Day. Hint Hint. LoL.

--C-Recks--